ARE We Ready For Some Football?

The 2005 National Football League season kicks off tonight with Randy Moss and the Oakland Raiders heading into New England to take on the defending Super Bowl Champion Patriots. It should be a good game. There are some interesting questions for both teams in this League of Perpetual Hope. Will Moss and LaMont Jordan be enough to hide the serious problems on the Raiders’ defense? Will the losses of Romeo Crennell, Charlie Weiss and Teddy Bruschi leave the champs exposed in the AFC East? Is there a way to bet on whether or not Randy has smoked pot prior to any given game and, if so, will Vegas set a line on the amount consumed? Is Bill Belichick alive or is he simply a robot that has been expertly programmed by a Dr. Evil like villain living deep inside a volcanic crater in the South Pacific?

But, even as I have been pondering these questions, the one thing that keeps popping into my head is, “Are we REALLY ready for some football?” With the after effects of Hurricane Katrina playing out on one third of the channels on my television; with gas prices so high that it costs as much to drive to a game as it does to get in the gate; with my own employment situation currently in limbo because a group of executives can’t decide how many six figure directors to employ, am I truly prepared to say that I’m ready to sit back and watch a bunch of overpaid athletes try and break each other to pieces for 60 minutes? In one simple word, “Yes.”

That’s not to say the realities of the world don’t weigh heavily on my mind. I have so many questions about Katrina, I hardly know where to start. I live in eastern Kansas and I don’t have any idea what the scope of this hurricane must have been like. But, don’t you have days of warning when a hurricane is approaching? In Kansas, when the tornado siren goes off, you go to your basement. That’s what you do. Why didn’t more people evacuate? Everyone keeps talking about the slow response of the government, and certainly it would have been wonderful to get food and supplies in there sooner. But it seems to me those rescue crews were working from the moment the storm was gone. Doesn’t it take some time to organize relief efforts? At the risk of sounding like a Bush apologist, at what point is this the president’s fault? At what point do the people in New Orleans start saying, “Yeah, maybe the looting was a bad idea. Maybe we shouldn’t have been shooting at rescue workers. Maybe we could have left the city when the warnings were issued.” I just don’t know if I can listen to more people say how ashamed they are to be Americans. Yes, this disaster was terrible. But it was epic. And the response has been in kind. There are relief funds everywhere. Nearly half a billion dollars has been collected. Troops have been called in. The levee has been temporarily repaired. This is the greatest country in the world. It’s the spirit of the people that make it great. It’s my contention that this is a land protected by God as the people are willing to live good lives. Does that mean that bad things don’t happen? Of course not. But when things go bad, we muster our courage and get to work. Whether that work is on the front lines along the Gulf Coast, by hosting a displaced family in your home or by giving money to the Red Cross, the point is that much of this country and the government that represents us is responding. Stop screaming and pitch in.

So that takes me back to my original question. In the face of this disaster and other crises facing each of us, is football really the best thing for us? The answer came to me today as I was thinking about this column. Because, despite all the tragedy and pain and frustration on the news, one of the lingering questions in my mind was, “How will the inability to play a single home game affect the Saints this year?” The thought kept creeping in and I kept pushing it back as inappropriate. But, the truth of it is, we care about our sports. We seek the refuge and respite that comes from being a fan. We pray for the people directly affected by this tragedy and we hope our team wins this Sunday. And so, instead of writing about all the tragedy that I’ve seen over the last ten days, I’m going to write about the National Football League. If you’re not interested, that’s fine. If you could use a break, I hope you enjoy what I have to say. If you are dying to see that first snap, just relax. Football is back to provide the distractions we all need from the constant challenges of life.

That being said, I’ve always thought one of the best jobs in the world would be with Monday Night Football. This is the final year of MNF in the primetime network spot. Next year, the Worldwide Leader takes over and if you don’t have cable or satellite, you’re out of luck. I’ve always wondered, why is it so difficult to program the MNF schedule? What’s the big deal? I think I could do it. But, first, I think we need to establish the ground rules.

First, forget about the “traditional rivalries” or past Super Bowl matchups. If one of those teams is in the tank, the game is not interesting to me. Does that mean no more Washington-Dallas on Monday night? Yes, and it should. I tune in one Monday night to see a quality game between two teams with playoff aspirations. I’m just not that interested in Brett Favre’s deteriorating talent or Bill Parcell’s frustrations with his offensive line. I want to see quality football. It’s a fact that there are more quality teams in the AFC right now. If that means we see more AFC teams on Monday night, so be it.

Second, stop pestering me with personnel matchups. I don’t care about Kurt Warner facing the Rams or LaMont Jordan showing the Jets what they lost. At some point, the league and the network need to understand that these individuals don’t drive viewership. If you’re serious about the MNF game being the featured game of the week, then it needs to be the game between the best two teams. Does that mean some teams will appear more than others? Yes. But the good teams have earned that opportunity and should be rewarded. Now, I’m of the opinion that the MNF schedule should have some flexibility to it in the second half of the season. I think the league could figure out how to give enough notice to allow for this change. They’ll try it next year with the Sunday night game on NBC. But, again, if Monday is your feature game, then you need to make sure you’ve got teams with something on the line.

Third, if all else fails, go for offense. I’m a football fan and I enjoy watching a great defense play. But, I’m going to watch the game no matter what. If you’re trying to attract the casual fan in today’s fantasy football crazy world, then you need the big touchdown passes and the long runs. You need games in the 30s. Nothing is worse then realizing that you’ve wasted three and a half hours on a 10-7 stinker. You know which teams are going to put up points. Make sure those offenses get a chance to shine.

Now, there are other things I’d love to change. The games start too late and last too long. The halftimes are over-produced. There’s too much canned content that comes off as silly (the player introductions and fun facts like “My favorite movie is Scarface” baloney). The sideline reporters rarely provide any valuable information because they’re busy interviewing Ben Affleck in the stands. But, I understand that much of these issues are the desperate acts of a marketing department trying to increase ratings. The simple answer that will solve that problem is to make sure the game is good. If the football game is good from week to week, people will watch. We want to watch. We’ve just started a new work week and Monday Night Football should be the NFL’s dessert cart after the Sunday all-you-can-eat buffet. So, if I ran the league or the network, these are the 16 games I’d want on Monday night. (There is no Monday-nighter on the last week of the regular season.)

Week 1:
Indianapolis @ Baltimore: ABC will carry Philly at Atlanta, but the Colts offense is too good to pass up. Peyton Manning is the MVP and could throw for 40 touchdowns this year. They should open the season on Monday night.

Week 2:
San Diego @ Denver: Two playoff teams from 2004. The best running back in the league with LaDainian Tomlinson. This should be a great game. Much better than the Redskins at Dallas.

Week 3:
New England @ Pittsburgh: The two best teams in the AFC last year square off again in Week 3. Should be a solid game. The scheduled game is KC at Denver, which should be good, but the Pats-Steelers is better.

Week 4:
Philadelphia @ Kansas City: Solid offenses should equal lots of points. Now’s the time to start projecting which teams are going to be in the hunt this year and the Eagles and Chiefs both qualify. Much better than the Packers-Panthers game on the schedule.

Week 5:
Pittsburgh @ San Diego: This is the game on the schedule, as well. Should be a fun one with two teams that could be back in the playoffs this year.

Week 6:
St. Louis @ Indianapolis: The league makes a good call again with this one. The Rams offense should be back in top form and we know the Colts are going to put up points.

Week 7:
San Diego @ Philadelphia: The league is offering the Jets at Atlanta, which will be decent, but only if Vick is effective. I’d rather see these two proven offenses.

Week 8:
Minnesota @ Carolina: This is a great game as well as being my pick for the NFC Conference Final. These two teams will be really good this year.

Week 9:
Indianapolis @ New England: This one’s a no-brainer and the league didn’t whiff. These two teams have been at the top of the AFC for years and it shouldn’t be any different this year.

Week 10:
Kansas City @ Buffalo: The Chiefs offense is just too good to keep off the network for very long. Fans like touchdowns and the Chiefs score them in bunches. The scheduled game is Dallas at Philly, which could be decent, but Parcels’ offense is usually on the boring side.

Week 11:
Pittsburgh @ Baltimore: Great game. Divisional matchup. Two solid teams all around. The schedule offers Minnesota at Green Bay, but they are hanging their hopes on Brett Favre playing like the Favre of five years ago. I don’t think that’s going to happen.

Week 12:
New England @ Kansas City: I think this is a potential play-off preview. These two teams will be good and this game will be the best of the Thanksgiving weekend.

Week 13:
Atlanta @ Carolina: Another divisional matchup with a lot on the line. Should be an exciting game, especially if both defenses are as good as advertised. I know that goes against one of my rules, but the fact that the playoffs could be on the line makes up for it.

Week 14:
St. Louis @ Minnesota: These are the two best all-around offenses in the NFC. They will definitely put on a show in Minnesota. Way better than the Saints and the Falcons.

Week 15:
Philadelphia @ St. Louis: I know that gives us the Rams two weekends in a row, but the end of the season is almost here and these are the best two teams going head-to-head.

Week 16:
New England @ NY Jets: The last Monday night game of the regular season goes to the best two teams in the AFC East. I think the Jets have to win this game to make the playoffs.

Predictions

I’ll finish off my look at the NFL with my final predictions. Again, as I mentioned last week with my college football preview, these predictions are free of charge, extensive research and behind the scenes expertise. Just one man’s opinion. You can grade me later.

AFC North: 1) Pittsburgh, 2) Baltimore, 3) Cincinnati, 4) Cleveland.
AFC South: 1) Indianapolis, 2) Houston, 3) Tennessee, 4) Jacksonville.
AFC East: 1) New England, 2) New York Jets, 3) Buffalo, 4) Miami.
AFC West: 1) Kansas City, 2) San Diego, 3) Denver, 4) Oakland.

AFC Wildcard: Kansas City over Baltimore, New England over San Diego.
AFC Divisional: New England over Pittsburgh, Indianapolis over Kansas City.
AFC Championship: Indianapolis over New England.

NFC North: 1) Minnesota, 2) Detroit, 3) Green Bay, 4) Chicago.
NFC South: 1) Carolina, 2) Atlanta, 3) Tampa Bay, 4) New Orleans.
NFC East: 1) Philadelphia, 2) Dallas, 3) New York Giants, 4) Washington.
NFC West: 1) St. Louis, 2) Seattle, 3) Arizona, 4) San Francisco.

NFC Wildcard: St. Louis over Atlanta, Carolina over Seattle.
NFC Divisional: Carolina over Philadelphia, Minnesota over St. Louis.
NFC Championship: Minnesota over Carolina.

Super Bowl XL: Indianapolis 31, Minnesota 23

Enjoy the season. Don’t take it too seriously – those guys on your fantasy team aren’t really playing for you. Don’t take it too lightly – it’s okay to enjoy a football game. Your life and problems will still be there afterwards, but you’ll be a lot more relaxed. So, sit back and take in a game when you have a chance. Hopefully, your team will be competitive and you won’t be saying, “We’ll be better next year” after week six. In today’s NFL, that’s all we can really ask for.