Monday, June 15, 2009

Things I Wish I'd Known

What would you say to your younger self if you could go back in time? Here are some of mine...

* You'll never use Calculus again.

* Your baseball cards will not appreciate in value. In fact, they will most likely depreciate due to a massive public marketplace called E-Bay. Take economics and learn about supply and demand.

* No one on the team is going to make the pros (or even play at a major college, for that matter), so don't worry so much about it.

* Big round glasses, pegged jeans and sweater vests will, in fact, go out of style. The CRX will not.

* Just because you danced to "Wonderful Tonight" doesn't mean it will last forever.

* It is possible to stop growing in 8th grade. 5'10" power forwards don't get drafted, nor do quarterbacks who can't run and catchers who can't see.

* Paul Pierce, Jacque Vaughn, Raef LaFrentz, Nick Collison, Drew Gooden, Kirk Hinrich and, most especially, Roy Williams will all break your heart. But, keep your eye on that Bill Self fella.

* Driving 100 mph in a '76 Toyota Corolla is a bad idea, especially on a back country road. Also, jumping on a trampoline in the middle of the day with nobody at home is still trespassing, even if your friends with their daughter. Especially when it's the D.A.'s trampoline.

* Calling every 20 minutes and going 10 miles out of your way to drive by her house is not going to make her like you.

* You'll miss going to the Priesthood Session with Dad, Mom asking what you did last night and the Monday Night Phantom more than you'll miss going to movies, hanging out in the high school parking lot and Monday Night Football.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Not For Kids, Anymore

I know, I know. I haven't been around much lately. The blogger bug has left me for a while. Maybe this will get me back on track!

Anyway, I saw this video earlier today. It makes me feel sad.

Some of my favorite memories from being a kid surround baseball and football cards. I loved opening up those packs and seeing the players inside, trading cards with my friends, hoping for a Ryne Sandberg or a George Brett. I would save my allowance and paper route money for weeks so I could go to JD's Baseball Card Shop and buy some cards. I honestly believe it helped me develop my love for sports today.

The saddest part of this video comes when these guys talk about opening the packs and how excited they get. Then you see how much these things cost today. My kids will probably never know what that feels like. Maybe that's silly, but it still makes me feel down.

Friday, January 30, 2009


Last night, Leah was reviewing Ryne's spelling list with him.

She says, Ryne, how do you spell "we"?

Ryne responds quickly, "W-i-i!"

The boy definately inherited the genes of serveral uncles and cousins.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Happy Chinese New Year

You may have already seen this on Leah's blog, but it's too funny not to share.

Kate has been learning about the Chinese New Year and had an assignment to make a fortune cookie with something nice on it.

Here's what she made.

Good times.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Hacked Off!

Well, it's true. My amazing wife hacked into my blog - well, that wasn't too hard. She asked me for my gmail address and password so she could check on which Redbox receipts had come in. Fool me once, shame on me, right?! Anyway, with a little help from a certain sister-in-law that, during her last visit, admitted to enjoying being mean (Sarah, I'm looking your way!) - these two made me realize something very important. I am really bad at laughing at myself. I mean it. (Sorry about that, Leah.) So, in an attempt to get over that glaring fault, I thought I'd better clear up some of my top 10 - and no, I don't generally use the word "moi"!

1. I am a thespian and you're not! Well, there is just no denying this one. I am, in fact, a Thespian. If you're not familiar with the Lawrence Applebee's, you probably don't know that my picture once adorned those walls. Yes, I was voted "Best Actor" in Lawrence High School in 1992. I received a theater scholarship from the University of Kansas. I was a theater major for my first semester at BYU. In fact, I'm acting right now. You probably couldn't even tell!

2. I persevered through chemo and unlike Laman and Lemuel I chose not to murmur (1Nephi 3:7). Leah was perhaps too kind on this one. I recall many Thursday, Friday and Saturday nights complaining about how crappy I felt. Did I try and kill my brothers for it? As far as Joel and Chris know, I did not. Let's just say I'm happy that part is over.

3. I lost 70 lbs. in 3 months (for weight loss tips please contact me at Yes, my weight loss was dramatic. I'm thinking about doing a weight loss infomercial to play at 1:00 in the morning on ESPN. "I had a malignant tumor growing in my belly - AND SO CAN YOU!" Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on how you look at it) I've gained about 40 pounds of that weight back. Not quite as big as I was, but definitely bigger. You could even call me "beefy". Also, I don't know where that email address will go. Do I now have an account at Leah, Sarah, a little help?

4. I've been taking tae kwon do this year and I'm pretty sure I could kick the crap out of you (leah won't let me sign up for UFC). Sadly, this one is a complete fabrication, unless you count the karate I do at home with the kids, which basically entails me getting kicked in the shins and the forearms until someone inevitably goes for the boy spot and spoils all the fun. Can you imagine me in UFC, though? Are you allowed to fight with a shirt on?

5. Leah Fosse married me she is quite the sexy lady. This is true all all accounts. I definitely married up. I'm still expecting to come home from work one day to a note that says, "Finally realized I could do better than you. Don't forget to empty the dishwasher. Leah." Seriously, I had a dream a couple weeks ago where she told me she was marrying a guy from our ward because he would be a better provider. Talk about popping the self-esteem balloon!

6. I know that through all of my afflictions I have become SUPER humble!!! Like in that one scripture that says something about willing to submit to all the the gnarley stuff that the Lord seeth fit to conflict at me. Here was another tip-off to the hack job. Anyone who knows me knows I could have been humble, but when the Jayhawks won the 2008 National Championship, the humble ship sailed. That's right! National Champs! As Tina Fey recently said . . . No, I'd better not go there.

7. I was in a band in High School, I was the dancer (not quite Merit Badge but still pretty bodacious!) Another true one that Leah loves to share with all who will listen. This was a garage band trying to play Pearl Jam, the Red Hot Chili Peppers and lots of Nirvana. My job as a dancer was to get the mosh pit started. So we (there were two of us) would run out and start crashing into each other and to anyone near the stage. It was awesome. Still, it's true. Nothing compared to Merit Badge.

8. My love of mayonnaise, as most of you know, is almost a fetish. But now that we live in Vegas I enjoy it in Popsicle form. YUM! YUM! You should try it. Leah failed to mention some key ingredients here. First of all, it's Miracle Whip, not mayo. That would be disgusting. Second, you have to mix it with frozen lemonade concentrate. It's perfect for ward socials. Seriously, someone served this as a dessert on my mission. In pie form with whipped cream on top. My companion ate the entire pie. I'm surprised he lived through the night.

9. In these perilous times I have decided to renew my membership with the NRA. Wanna meet at Bass Pro Shop, upstairs to check out their latest selection of handguns and other weaponry. Seriously, this is just good advice. Who hasn't done this? What if the government tries to take our guns? Haven't they read the constitution!!!!!

10. Last weekend I got had boudoir photos taken to hang in our love nest (she will so not be able to keep her paws off of me). Will post at a later date. How Leah found out this little secret, I'll never know. But now that the cat is out of the bag, the photos have been destroyed. The surprise is ruined. But, don't worry, I'm ordering her Valentine's Day present from Bass Pro Shop.

So, there you have it. As for the play list to the right, I can't complain. Those are some great songs. I may add to them, but I certainly won't be taking them down. Also, I don't know how to take it down or add to them.

And, finally, to my wife and my sister-in-law. You know what they say about payback, right?