Undacovah Brothah

Okay, my wife keeps making little comments about my lack of a recent post, so I guess I better get back on the ball!

Shameless Plug

I am really lucky. I have my very own Personal Media Advisor. Most people don't have one of those, but I do. In fact, I think he might actually be a superhero - Mild-Manored English Teacher by day - Investigator of all things Media related by. . . well, day and night, I suppose. He's first in line for the movie premier. He reads books first so I don't have to. He watches live TV, TiVo's TV he can't watch live and buys seasons of shows that he really likes. And, yes, he's my brother. He's awesome. He's really good at this stuff. He is teaching English in Georgia and is an aspiring novelist. And he knows his stuff. Ask about some obscure author and he can give you five reasons why he didn't like his last book. Unsure about the new Indiana Jones, Joel says, "Wait for video!" Need some quality television to watch while recovering from major surgery? Have no fear - there is an answer!

So, while in the hospital the first time around, we got a package from Georgia - Season 1 of Friday Night Lights. It came with the strong recommendation from Joel that we would really enjoy it. Now, Joel has hit several home runs for us in the TV series on DVD genre - he turned us on to both Arrested Development and Veronica Mars - two must sees. And now Joel is 3 for 3. Friday Night Lights is awesome. I have just the season finale to watch, but I am definitely looking for Season 2! It's not too much football, but enough for those of us that enjoy football. The characters are really compelling and the story lines - struggling to survive in this football obsessed Texas town - are really strong. The best character on the show besides the coaches wife is Landry - who disappears a bit in the middle of the season. The episode where he reads of Mice and Men to Tim Riggins is just hilarious. I haven't quite convinced Leah of the greatness of the show - I watched most of it while lying in a hospital bed. But, due to our 2.5 years living in the town after which the book was written and the show is patterned, watching the exterior shots makes Leah a bit sick to her stomach. So, maybe down the line she'll take a shot at it. But, if you're looking for something really interesting, it's got my vote.

In preparation for my upcoming Chemo exhaustion, I purchased several movies, as well as Season 2 of Arrested Development and Season 3 of Veronica Mars and The Office. Joel's latest recommendation? Lost. I've never gotten into it on regular TV, but my Personal Media Advisor says it is great, so I just may have to give it a shot.

Health Update

We are getting closer to the start of chemo. Despite some confusion about when I need to stop taking my blood thinners so I can get the Portacath put in, I have been going through the preparatory steps for the Chemo. I had two CT scans a couple of weeks ago - one on my chest that showed some lingering pneumonia and one on my brain that was normal. My regular doctor switched me to a blood thinner that I have to inject into my abdomen. That stinks, but I should only have to take it for a month. We thought it was to get ready to put the port in that the oncologist will use to deliver the chemotherapy, but the surgeon's office said I shouldn't be on any blood thinners, so we're a bit confused on that front. The injections are really painful for about 15 minutes and they make my abdomen really sore in the evenings. But, I haven't been getting the headaches I got with the other stuff. The injectable costs about $4K for a months worth ($50 co-pay - Yeah for insurance!). We had to get special approval from the insurance to cover it once. Later today, I got in for the PET Scan to make sure I am essentially tumor free - we'll never be able to tell if the cancer leaked out of the tumor in my belly or not. Next week, I get the port put in and then start the Chemo.

It's all happening very quickly. I'm ready for the chemo to start simply because I want to know how it's going to affect me and, once it's started, it will be over in six months. I will probably lose some hair and have some sensitivity to cold, but the biggest side affect will be exhaustion. I'll go in every two weeks on a Wednesday and be in the office for 3-4 hours while I take the medicine. Then, I'll have a bag that I'll wear for the rest of the day on Wednesday and all day Thursday. The bag will come off on Friday morning and the oncologist thought the exhaustion would last another 4-5 days. Then a week off to get my system back up and start it again. I'll have twelve treatments, so I should be finishing up around Thanksgiving. I'm nervous, but ready. That's the best way I can describe it. Six months from now, I should be completely cancer free. I can't wait.

One More Thing

Leah wrote a great post the other day letting people know that we haven't just been sitting around in hospitals and doctor's offices these past weeks. Check it out. Here's the link:

http://midwestkarpowitz.blogspot.com/

This, Too, Shall Pass

Remember how I was saying I need a new mattress? Well, that's still the case, but that's not what was causing my severe back pain. Turns out, I had blood clots in my lungs! Last Wednesday, the pain was getting worse and worse. I got home from work and couldn't catch my breath. The pain started to move to the front and just kept getting worse. We called my Home Health Nurse and she suggested we go to the ER just in case. So we did. After a CT Scan, they found the clots and put me on blood thinners. And so I spent the next week in the hospital! This time was even more boring than the first, after the incredible pain started to back off. Though the pain continued to recur, the severity was never as bad as that first night. Mostly, I just had to sit in my hospital bed and wait for my blood to thin. The down side of all that sitting is that I developed some fluid on my lungs. That is also causing some pain. They decided not to drain it, but to see if it would clear up on its own. That's because they would have to take me off the blood thinners to drain it, then drain the fluid, then get back on the blood thinners and get my blood regulated. That would be another week in the hospital. I voted against that and the lung doctor agreed for now. However, if they don't clear up on their own, I may have to go back in and have them drained. Fun stuff!

So, that's been my week. I'll be working from home this week and probably next, since that's when I have my first visit with my oncologist. That visit will set my chemo schedule.

On a more serious note, today Leah's sister, Gretchen, suffered a brain aneurysm while walking with her youngest daughter. They found it early and it's on the surface. She is in surgery this evening. Please keep Gretchen and her family in your thoughts and prayers.

Back to Work

Well, I've been back at work for two days now. Let's just say, at the end of the day, I'm bushed! I can't believe how hard it is to do something I've done a thousand times before. It's really strange. But, I'm happy to be back and working. I really enjoy my job and I'm glad to be contributing.

Here's where we stand right now - nothing really has changed. I've met with my in-home nurses three times. Everything seems to be going well. Dr. Abey removed the staples last week and the incision, though sore at my belt line, is healing well. The muscles underneath feel pretty tired and my back has been pretty sore from having to sleep on it for so long, I think. Leah and I really need a new mattress, so that may be on the docket for this weekend.

Other than that, I seem to be doing okay. I've heard from so many friends and loved ones. That has been really nice. The thoughts and prayers of everyone are definitely felt and heard. I can't thank you each enough for that.

Going forward, I'm meeting with the oncologist in about two weeks and should know the chemo schedule at that time. I'm a bit apprehensive, but also ready to get it going so I can get it finished. Does that make sense?

The big news this week is that we sold the house in Edgerton - well, it closes later this month, but we are really excited. I can't believe it finally sold. We had no offers for so long, then got two on the same day. It's really a blessing to get it sold. We really miss our friends from the Ottawa Ward. That's for sure. It's funny. The ward here has been great. They have been so supportive. As we make friends, it will be even better. But we certainly miss the familiarity of the Ottawa Ward. That makes such a difference in a ward. It really can feel like family. We are excited to get to that point here, as well.

So, that's about it. Not much more to say this time. Next post better be sports related or my image is going to be ruined.

Incredible Week

Well, it has been a very strange and interesting last two weeks. Really, one of the strangest, scariest and most blessed of my entire life. Let me do this Soap Opera style -

Previously, on Matt's life. . .

Okay, so two weeks ago, we were in Utah at my Grandma's funeral. We left the Beehive state on Tuesday and arrived in sunny Las Vegas later that day. I wasn't feeling great that day and Leah made the entire drive herself. She said she wanted to see if she could do it, but I suspect she didn't trust me behind the wheel at the time. I was totally exhausted from packing the car. I mean, I could barely get the suitcases into the car and was simply "dead on my feet". I don't have any idea how I got the cartop carrier on and filled. I would move a bag up, then sit down in the car and rest for five minutes. It was ridiculous. But, we made it to Henderson, signed the papers for our house and settled down campout style that night.

The new VP of sales was coming in on Wednesday night and my boss wanted to make sure we had everything ready. However, the movers were coming on Wednesday morning and I had to be there to sign for everything. I finally got into work on Wednesday afternoon and got things ready for the next few days, caught up on emails, etc. Again, I got home and was just exhausted. Except for feeling under-dressed on Thursday and Friday (all my nice clothes were still in boxes), the visit with the VP went well. Each night, after work, I came home and just fell into bed. I'm sure the kids thought I was the laziest person on the face of the earth, but I literally had no energy. I felt awful, but just assumed that as soon as things got back to normal, I would pickup.

Saturday, Leah and Sarah (visiting with her kids from Utah to help with the unpacking) decided to give me a day of rest. I slept almost the entire day. I was totally lazy. By the end of the day, I thought things were going better. I was excited for Church the next day and to meet our new ward. I didn't feel perfect, but I felt better. Until that night. Overnight, things got really bad. My stomach started really hurting. I threw up a few times and couldn't keep anything down. We'd eaten Chili's for dinner, so I thought maybe I overdid it, but I was in lousy shape. Sunday morning, I decided I would rest while everyone else went to Church. Then I decided I was being ungrateful and needed to go to Church. So, I got up and showered and got in my suit. I came downstairs and Church was going to be starting in about five minutes. I couldn't get my shoes on. It was too painful and exhausting to lean over. We decided to go to the doctor, instead of Church.

Bad to Worse

Sarah took the kids and Leah and I left to find a hospital. The first thing we spotted was the urgent care, so we went there. I was in terrible pain - was having trouble standing. Leah checked me in and the doctor came and took a look. He said, "You should have gone to the emergency room. Look out the window - it's right there." So, after assuring us that we'd get right in, he sent us next door. We sat in the waiting room for an hour. I even said to Leah that we should just go home and make and appointment with someone. Finally, they called me in and started checking things out. The pain and discomfort had grown pretty bad - I was at a 10 on the pain scale. They decided to admit me - I think really just to see if they could get the colitis flare up under control. In fact, on Sunday, when they took me to my room, there's this little white board with who's your nurse, treatments, etc. One of the categories is "What's Important". I told them to get back home to get to work as soon as possible.

You see, this past week was going to be busy. I had been building up to it really since I was hired for this job back in February. Two huge events were to take place, with meetings and dinners starting Tuesday night. First, my boss has spent the past several months working out some partnering arrangements with Sprint in Las Vegas (remember, I work for Embarq, not Sprint. Sprint = wireless. Embarq = wireline. Not quite that simple, but good enough for this blog.) So, there were a couple of things I needed to do for these meetings - plus attend a lead team dinner on Tuesday night and the big meeting on Wednesday. My boss would be in San Diego until Wednesday, so I was to take the lead. Then, Thursday and Friday was our first ever West Pacific Quarterly Sales Leadership Meeting, to be held at the TPC Summerlin. This was my baby. I had been working on agendas, logistics, presentations, etc. for about two months. We had about 15 presenters coming in for Thursday's session - all of them people I wanted to meet with. We had a big dinner planned for Thursday night. Friday would be the sales team only and I was working with the sales managers on what they would need to present to the boss. It was a big deal. I didn't feel like I could miss it.

Well, I missed it. I was in the hospital on Sunday night. At one point, during the night, the pain was so intense, I was literally praying in my bed and pleading for my own life. I was pleading with the nurses for help with the pain. I know they did all they could for me, but I was really struggling. Monday, the pain began to subside, but I knew I wasn't going anywhere until they did some tests. I just assumed the colitis has flared really bad, but would back off and I get on a different mix of medications. They scheduled a CAT scan on my abdomen and I waited. About three o'clock, I had the CAT scan and came back to my room. They even offered me the clear liquids diet and I had some frozen lemonade, apple juice and a delicious Italian ice. I figured we were on our way. At five o'clock, they took away any food and put me back on ice chips. They said I had a perferated colon and needed surgery. At seven o'clock, it became emergency surgery. They suspected it had begun to leak. By eight o'clock, I was in the OR. And then I slept.

Tuesday arrived with lots of pain. Here's what we learned. The large intestine had torn slightly. I had been leaking into my body. There was a mass the size of a grapefruit on my colon. The doctor had removed the entire colon and I was now colitis free. We weren't sure if the mass was cancer or not, but the surgeon was confident he had removed all the dangerous tissue and residue. I was going to be okay. I was in a lot of recovery pain. My life would be forever changed. If we'd waited even 48 hours more, I probably would have died. That was a terrifying statement for me.

So, there you have it. Now it's Sunday, the 27th. I missed all the meetings. I am still in the hospital. The mass was cancer, but right now there don't seem to be any worries about that. I'm surviving the recovery, though I am really bored sitting in this bed or in the chair or walking the hall. I'm really not very patient, but I'm trying to be a good patient, if you know what I mean. The next few weeks will be exhausting - at least a week of home recovery before I can go back to work. Fortunately, I work a desk job, so it will be manageable. Just lots to recover from.

I am really grateful for all the love and support we've received over the past week. Sarah stayed until Tuesday. My brother Chris came on Tuesday and basically just sat with me and talked while I was trying to breathe through the pain. He was here to ask questions of the doctors and support me so much. Leah's mom and sister came on Friday and left this morning. My mom is coming on Tuesday. I've had countless calls and cards and shows of support. I've had prayers and fasting and blessings from people who have never met me. We have really been taken care of. I'm sure I can't express the gratitude and love I feel at this time. It's overwhelming.

The Lord truly has a plan for each of us. We have no idea what that plan entails. I've been learning that lesson again this week. I do know this - he is aware of me and my family. He is watching our for all of us. His timeline and will and different than mine. He is truly my Savior. He spared my life in this process. Things happened, really beginning months ago, to put us in a place where this last week I had doctors ready to act. He knew we wouldn't be moving into the house in Southwest Las Vegas. He knew we would spend three weeks in Utah. He knew my Grandma would pass before we came to Las Vegas. He knew and He knows. I have to learn to trust that. Leah and I are truly blessed. I am so blessed by Leah and the strength and power she has. She lifts me up and makes me better.

I'm sure I'll have more to say about all this in the coming weeks and months. I'll try to give you some sports, too, so you aren't totally grossed out by all the medical stuff. Feel free to drop us a line. There are many of you who have reached out to us this past week and I hope you don't feel too ignored. Things will get back to normal. But they'll always be a little bit different.

Goodbye, Grandma

Our trip from Kansas to Las Vegas took a sad, but not entirely unexpected turn last week. The message to me, as usual, was that the Lord knows best. Early in the week, my Mom called and said that my Grandma, her Mom, wasn't doing well and may need a blessing. I said I was more than willing to go and was glad I was in Utah to help. She said she'd let me know and that they may wait until Friday when she and my Dad were set to arrive. Grandma had been struggling with dementia for some time and had slipped into a slight coma. The doctors had thought she might make it a few more weeks, but she had taken a turn for the worse.

On Wednesday, Mom called and said she needed me and my brother to head over and administer the blessing. Of course, we agreed and headed north. When we got there, my aunt and her two daughters - Shauna and Christy - were there. Chris gave a wonderful blessing. After the blessing, we were able to sit with the family for several hours and just talk about Grandma. It was really a wonderful evening. I am so happy that I was able to be there in Utah at the time. If we'd already moved to Las Vegas, that wouldn't have been possible. For that, and many other reasons involving this move, I've realized that the Lord just knows what's right. I firmly believe I needed to be available over these last few days.

Grandma passed away about 10:30 the next morning. Sandy and her daughters were there, as well as Shelly, one of Frankie and Sandi Jo's kids - who was also Grandma's home hospice nurse. I picked Mom up at the airport that morning and we arrived at about 11:00. Again, I am grateful to have been available to be there for my Mom and my extended family. I truly wouldn't have been anywhere else at that time.

Dad arrived on Friday and the viewing was held Sunday with the funeral on Wednesday. I spent much of those two days with brothers and sisters, aunts, uncles and cousins that I hadn't seen in many years. The passing of my Grandma did one of the things Grandma loved the most - brought the family together. We talked about our memories of visiting with Grandma, about what she liked and didn't like, about her life and her legacy. We caught up on our lives and where we were headed and how many kids we had and what we were going to do next. We cried some and laughed a lot. To me, the weekend was about what all funerals should be about - the love of family and the promise of reunion. That's such an integral part of the Gospel - that we will be together again.

The day after the funeral, we left for Las Vegas. We're here now. We're in the house we are renting. The kids are thrilled. Leah and I are thrilled. There is so much to experience and so much to do. The Lord wanted us to take a little time to get here. It's been a heck of a four weeks, but those are stories for another day. His plan is just better than my plan.

I know it sounds cliche, but Grandma is in a better place, now. She's in a place where she isn't restricted by a body that was breaking down. She can share her thoughts and feelings. She can talk with loved ones that she hasn't seen in decades. She can reflect on her own life and the legacy she left behind. For the past few years, none of those things have been possible. I love my Grandma very much. I will miss her in this life, but I look forward to our promised reunion, as well. I hope she has the fudge-stripe cookies!