Sorry Tiger, You've Been Karpowitz'ed

I should feel bad. Really, I should. You see, this is my fault. If you want someone to blame, the someone is me. I can prove it. Check out the post titled "Just the Way It is" under this link: Just the Way It Is.

Did you see it? I jumped on the Tiger bandwagon and I believe it was the equivelant of covering the driver's eyes and barreling over the cliff. Season ending, career threatening knee reconstruction surgery! Are you kidding me? I become a Tiger fan and now his very career is in jeopardy? Really, I should just stop watching sports. (Forget it, Leah. Everytime I try to get out, they suck me back in!)

Really, I thought I was on my way to turning this thing around. I mean, first the mighty Jayhawks win the National Championship. Then the Chiefs nab Glenn Dorsey and the best draft class of 2008 (this could be deleted in 2112. It takes a long time to truly judge a draft class). The Royals even got in on the act by hiring Trey Hillman and having a really solid April. No, not a World Series. A solid April. We have to look at the little picture with KC sports!

But, it looks like the wheels are trying to come off. It starts with the Royals and all new levels of losing. I’d forgotten just how irrelevant the Royals are in the national picture. I have to scour the internet for highlights of games. I think the only time they appeared in the first 30 minutes of SportsCenter was when they got no-hit by the Red Sox earlier this year. Anyway, my favorite baseball team is trying to set a record for most ridiculous losses in the final three innings of a baseball game. Remember that bullpen that was supposed to be such a strength? Not so much.

Then, Mario Chalmers decided to stay in the NBA draft. Honestly, I guess I can’t fault him. It’s the right decision. He’s probably going to go in the First Round and guarantee himself several million dollars. Still, kind of crappy for the Defending National Champion Kansas Jayhawks. (yes, that’s their official name until at least next March, at which time it will either become the Two-time Defending National Champion Kansas Jayhawks or the 2008 National Champion Kansas Jayhawks. I prefer the first.) So, Mario is done and Sherron Collins is on trial for allegedly exposing himself and groping a woman. Thanks, buddy. So, despite the euphoria of winning it all, the reality of college basketball must go on. At least we’re not Indiana fans. Ouch.

Tiger was the final straw. And you see how the Hall of Fame, greatest player ever handled it? Yeah, he only won three majors with a ruptured ACL and the last one with a broken freakin’ leg! That’s amazing. Now, I know the Tiger camp is saying that he’ll be able to return at 100% in 2009 and I won’t ever count him out. But major joint reconstruction is a bit of a crap-shoot. Will he be strong enough to win four more and tie Jack Nicklaus? I hope so. Am I sure it will happen? Absolutely not. My suspicion is, if I go back to the Mickelson camp, Tiger will win 15 more majors and Phil will be in full manzier mode by the end of his career. But that’s just me.

So, Tiger, here’s to hoping you can get it back. I’ve decided to provide Tiger with a little motivation by showing him the greatest motivational moments in the greatest motivational sports movies of all time. These are motivation for specific situations. Use them as needed.

Motivational Moment Number 1: Getting Ready:

Here’s the situation. You’ve decided to retire, but out of no where, Ernie Els challenges your old friend, Mark O’Meara to an exhibition match. Els beats an old and past his prime O’Meara so badly that O’Meara falls into a sandtrap on the 1st Green and dies. Of course, you immediately challenge Els to a match on “his turf”. Strangely enough, Els does not choose his native South Africa, but instead has you come to Communist Russia at the height of the Cold War. We are not sure how he accomplished this, so just go with it. You accept, but you will need to train “old school” to survive this match. Press play now.



Motivational Moment Number 2: The Bully:

Let’s say you come back in 2009, but all the surgery recovery has left you the shell of your former self – seriously, you’re down to like 98 pounds. And, the cool guys on the tour – the Kobra Kai of Wingfoot: Mike Weir, Justin Leonard, Vijay Singh and Phil Mickelson as Johnny– have started pushing you around and kicking sand in your face. What do you do? Well, you sign your former swing coach Butch Harmon who teaches you how to build muscle and perfect your swing by remodeling his house. Then, you enter the All Valley Golf Tournament and kick some Kobra Kai butt! Press play now.



Motivational Moment Number 3: The Comeback Delayed

Okay, now you’re back on the tour, but getting no respect. Because of the incredibly unwise decision to stay at Barbara Hershey’s hotel on the way to Chicago, you’re comeback took about 15 years longer than you expected. But, you finally get back in and are really knocking the cover off the ball. Then, just before the 2023 Masters, you find out that the knee is not going to make it. You have to retire or risk permanent damage. This is it, the 18th hole of the final round. You need to be perfect to save Pop and the team from the Judge. Press play now:



Motivational Moment Number 4: Heart

Now, if that wasn’t enough and your heart just isn’t in it, remember that there are thousands of us out here who would love to do what you can do. We’d give it all – even spend a year getting our butts kicked on the Nike Tour just to have a chance for one round at the US Open, one at bat for our favorite team, one sack for our favorite college football team! And if you can watch these without getting a little misty, you’re a better man than me. Press play now:



And now:



And now:



And both of these:





Now, get out there and play! I’m still on your side! I don’t know if that’s a good thing or not, but I’m not giving up!

One final health thought: I started chemo 2 of 12 today. Doing well, so far. A bit tired. I’ll post on Friday after I get the pump off.