Things I Wish I'd Known

What would you say to your younger self if you could go back in time? Here are some of mine...

* You'll never use Calculus again.

* Your baseball cards will not appreciate in value. In fact, they will most likely depreciate due to a massive public marketplace called E-Bay. Take economics and learn about supply and demand.

* No one on the team is going to make the pros (or even play at a major college, for that matter), so don't worry so much about it.

* Big round glasses, pegged jeans and sweater vests will, in fact, go out of style. The CRX will not.

* Just because you danced to "Wonderful Tonight" doesn't mean it will last forever.

* It is possible to stop growing in 8th grade. 5'10" power forwards don't get drafted, nor do quarterbacks who can't run and catchers who can't see.

* Paul Pierce, Jacque Vaughn, Raef LaFrentz, Nick Collison, Drew Gooden, Kirk Hinrich and, most especially, Roy Williams will all break your heart. But, keep your eye on that Bill Self fella.

* Driving 100 mph in a '76 Toyota Corolla is a bad idea, especially on a back country road. Also, jumping on a trampoline in the middle of the day with nobody at home is still trespassing, even if your friends with their daughter. Especially when it's the D.A.'s trampoline.

* Calling every 20 minutes and going 10 miles out of your way to drive by her house is not going to make her like you.

* You'll miss going to the Priesthood Session with Dad, Mom asking what you did last night and the Monday Night Phantom more than you'll miss going to movies, hanging out in the high school parking lot and Monday Night Football.

Not For Kids, Anymore

I know, I know. I haven't been around much lately. The blogger bug has left me for a while. Maybe this will get me back on track!

Anyway, I saw this video earlier today. It makes me feel sad.



Some of my favorite memories from being a kid surround baseball and football cards. I loved opening up those packs and seeing the players inside, trading cards with my friends, hoping for a Ryne Sandberg or a George Brett. I would save my allowance and paper route money for weeks so I could go to JD's Baseball Card Shop and buy some cards. I honestly believe it helped me develop my love for sports today.

The saddest part of this video comes when these guys talk about opening the packs and how excited they get. Then you see how much these things cost today. My kids will probably never know what that feels like. Maybe that's silly, but it still makes me feel down.

Prioritites

Last night, Leah was reviewing Ryne's spelling list with him.

She says, Ryne, how do you spell "we"?

Ryne responds quickly, "W-i-i!"

The boy definately inherited the genes of serveral uncles and cousins.

Happy Chinese New Year

You may have already seen this on Leah's blog, but it's too funny not to share.

Kate has been learning about the Chinese New Year and had an assignment to make a fortune cookie with something nice on it.

Here's what she made.

Good times.

Hacked Off!

Well, it's true. My amazing wife hacked into my blog - well, that wasn't too hard. She asked me for my gmail address and password so she could check on which Redbox receipts had come in. Fool me once, shame on me, right?! Anyway, with a little help from a certain sister-in-law that, during her last visit, admitted to enjoying being mean (Sarah, I'm looking your way!) - these two made me realize something very important. I am really bad at laughing at myself. I mean it. (Sorry about that, Leah.) So, in an attempt to get over that glaring fault, I thought I'd better clear up some of my top 10 - and no, I don't generally use the word "moi"!

1. I am a thespian and you're not! Well, there is just no denying this one. I am, in fact, a Thespian. If you're not familiar with the Lawrence Applebee's, you probably don't know that my picture once adorned those walls. Yes, I was voted "Best Actor" in Lawrence High School in 1992. I received a theater scholarship from the University of Kansas. I was a theater major for my first semester at BYU. In fact, I'm acting right now. You probably couldn't even tell!

2. I persevered through chemo and unlike Laman and Lemuel I chose not to murmur (1Nephi 3:7). Leah was perhaps too kind on this one. I recall many Thursday, Friday and Saturday nights complaining about how crappy I felt. Did I try and kill my brothers for it? As far as Joel and Chris know, I did not. Let's just say I'm happy that part is over.

3. I lost 70 lbs. in 3 months (for weight loss tips please contact me at skinnyboy@boogyboards.com). Yes, my weight loss was dramatic. I'm thinking about doing a weight loss infomercial to play at 1:00 in the morning on ESPN. "I had a malignant tumor growing in my belly - AND SO CAN YOU!" Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on how you look at it) I've gained about 40 pounds of that weight back. Not quite as big as I was, but definitely bigger. You could even call me "beefy". Also, I don't know where that email address will go. Do I now have an account at boogyboards.com? Leah, Sarah, a little help?

4. I've been taking tae kwon do this year and I'm pretty sure I could kick the crap out of you (leah won't let me sign up for UFC). Sadly, this one is a complete fabrication, unless you count the karate I do at home with the kids, which basically entails me getting kicked in the shins and the forearms until someone inevitably goes for the boy spot and spoils all the fun. Can you imagine me in UFC, though? Are you allowed to fight with a shirt on?

5. Leah Fosse married me she is quite the sexy lady. This is true all all accounts. I definitely married up. I'm still expecting to come home from work one day to a note that says, "Finally realized I could do better than you. Don't forget to empty the dishwasher. Leah." Seriously, I had a dream a couple weeks ago where she told me she was marrying a guy from our ward because he would be a better provider. Talk about popping the self-esteem balloon!

6. I know that through all of my afflictions I have become SUPER humble!!! Like in that one scripture that says something about willing to submit to all the the gnarley stuff that the Lord seeth fit to conflict at me. Here was another tip-off to the hack job. Anyone who knows me knows I could have been humble, but when the Jayhawks won the 2008 National Championship, the humble ship sailed. That's right! National Champs! As Tina Fey recently said . . . No, I'd better not go there.

7. I was in a band in High School, I was the dancer (not quite Merit Badge but still pretty bodacious!) Another true one that Leah loves to share with all who will listen. This was a garage band trying to play Pearl Jam, the Red Hot Chili Peppers and lots of Nirvana. My job as a dancer was to get the mosh pit started. So we (there were two of us) would run out and start crashing into each other and to anyone near the stage. It was awesome. Still, it's true. Nothing compared to Merit Badge.

8. My love of mayonnaise, as most of you know, is almost a fetish. But now that we live in Vegas I enjoy it in Popsicle form. YUM! YUM! You should try it. Leah failed to mention some key ingredients here. First of all, it's Miracle Whip, not mayo. That would be disgusting. Second, you have to mix it with frozen lemonade concentrate. It's perfect for ward socials. Seriously, someone served this as a dessert on my mission. In pie form with whipped cream on top. My companion ate the entire pie. I'm surprised he lived through the night.

9. In these perilous times I have decided to renew my membership with the NRA. Wanna meet at Bass Pro Shop, upstairs to check out their latest selection of handguns and other weaponry. Seriously, this is just good advice. Who hasn't done this? What if the government tries to take our guns? Haven't they read the constitution!!!!!

10. Last weekend I got had boudoir photos taken to hang in our love nest (she will so not be able to keep her paws off of me). Will post at a later date. How Leah found out this little secret, I'll never know. But now that the cat is out of the bag, the photos have been destroyed. The surprise is ruined. But, don't worry, I'm ordering her Valentine's Day present from Bass Pro Shop.

So, there you have it. As for the play list to the right, I can't complain. Those are some great songs. I may add to them, but I certainly won't be taking them down. Also, I don't know how to take it down or add to them.

And, finally, to my wife and my sister-in-law. You know what they say about payback, right?

Ode To Me (Why I'm Awesome)

I know I haven't posted in a while and since it's a new year I thought I would dedicate it to Moi'.

Top ten reasons why I rock:

1. I am a thespian and you're not!
2. I perservered through chemo and unlike Laman and Lemuel I chose not to murmur (1Nephi 3:7)
3. I lost 70 lbs. in 3 months (for weight loss tips please contact me at skinnyboy@boogyboards.com)
4. I've been taking tae kwon do this year and I'm pretty sure I could kick the crap out of you (leah won't let me sign up for UFC)
5. Leah Fosse married me she is quite the sexy lady
6. I know that through all of my afflictions I have become SUPER humble!!! Like in that one scripture that says something about willing to submit to all the the gnarley stuff that the Lord seeth fit to conflict at me.
7. I was in a band in High School, I was the dancer (not quite Merit Badge but still pretty bodacious!)
8. My love of mayonaisse, as most of you know, is almost a fettish. But now that we live in Vegas I enjoy it in popscicle form. YUM! YUM! You should try it.
9. In these perilous times I have decided to renew my membership with the NRA. Wanna meet at Bass Pro Shop, upstairs to check out their latest selection of handguns and other weaponry.
10. Last weekend I got had boudiar photos taken to hang in our love nest (she will so not be able to keep her paws off of me). Will post at a later date.

Please check out my new play list to the side it's all the songs that I love!! With a special shout out to my special lady Leah and her smokin' hot sister Sarah, because in all I do they complete me.

Ode to the Chiefs

Oh, team of Red and Gold
Your awfulness at times astounds me.
A single victory stands on your record
Like a gorgeous rose amidst
A sea of thorns.
Yet that victory was not so much gorgeous.
Perhaps aberration.

Dear Carl, why do you
Torment me with your insolence?
Whey did we keep you
And lose Marty?
You are like a bad sandwich
That keeps repeating on me.
Only you are worse.

Herman, Herman, Herman
Please answer a simple question
With a simple answer.
You are friends with Clark
So will probably be back
For 2009.
Please be better.

Defense, where art thou
In the 4th Quarter?
Are you too tired to
Play an entire game?
You are so rich and yet
So pitiful.
The Jets just scored again.

Tyler Thigpen is the Quarterback?
I thought he was the dirty kid
In Peanuts.
Next year you can tutor
Tebow of the Gators
Or Stafford of the Dawgs.
I can dream.

Perhaps we are but paying
For the multiple transgressions
Of Derrick Thomas
Or the multiple felonies
Of Bam Morris
Or the constant arrests
Of Larry Johnson.

No matter what
I wear my Red and Gold with pride
Amid cackles from
Patriots and Broncos and even Browns.
I'd like to DVR your games
But no one will show them here.
Maybe in 2011.

12.12 = 100%, WE'RE DONE WITH CHEMO!

I can't believe it's finally over. Chemo is complete. I'm bald, but that's okay. It's done! Yeah!

Truly, I can't tell you how much we've relied on the prayers and support of those of you who have seen us through this challenge. Leah and I feel very strongly that one of the reasons we needed to be in Las Vegas was to experience this trial. I don't know why, but I do know this is where the Lord wanted us. Are we done with trials? Of course not. Just see the kid flying around the neighborhood on crutches! However, the chemo part of this process is over and I am so grateful.

We know that with cancer there is just no guarantee - though I AM guaranteed never to get colon cancer again! All signs right now point to a healthy future. I will continue with regular scans and checks. In about six months, they can remove the port from my chest, but they want it in for a while as a precaution. We've learned so much in this process. We've learned that we have the greatest support group of family and friends you can imagine, both here, in Kansas, in Utah and throughout points across the United States. You've all been awesome. We've learned that good insurance is nothing to scoff at. Our insurance is going up in 2009 to the point that we would have been paying a huge amount off if this had happened next year, even at 10% after the deductible. We've learned to cherish our family and especially our children. We've read more from the scriptures and the brethren and watched fewer movies than we expected. We've realized the importance of both giving and receiving service. I can honestly say that I think we're stronger because of this experience. That's amazing to me.

We'll be having a chemo is over party here and perhaps a second one in Utah. We love you all so much. Thank you for your support and smile a smile for us tonight - CHEMO IS OVER!

Baldy Balderson

Okay, it's done. I'm bald and I promised pictures. So, here I am this morning:

I spent the morning cleaning the cars and taking them through the car wash. Then it was time. They shaved one side, then the top, then the back and the last side. So, at one point, I was bald on top and one side, but if you looked at the other side, where I still had hair, Leah said I looked just like my dad. Only one word for that. . . Handsome!

So, here it comes....



Are you ready?




Are you sure you want to see this?




Okay, Here we go:

So far, the kids have really enjoyed touching it. My biggest fear was that I'd have some sort of strange bumps or ridges on my head, but it looks good, for the most part. Also, my eyes are magic.

Stinks

My hair started falling out today. That's all I have to say.

11/12, 91.7% Complete

I can't believe I only have one more treatment left. In retrospect, it has actually gone by rather quickly, for which I am extremely grateful.

I'm sorry I've not written on Friday or Saturday the past two treatments. My only explanation is that, with the new medication, I am MUCH more tired after the treatment. I took naps Thursday and Friday and still went to bed at about 10:00. That's very rare for me - I'm a bit more of a night owl than Leah.

Anyway, except for the exhaustion, I managed this one all right. It does make me a bit sick on Wednesday and I've found I'm much more out of it on Wednesday - Friday than with the other medication, which really effected me on Friday-Saturday. We actually had a fairly active Saturday, though I did lie down in the afternoon for a bit - but that may have been depression over the rear-end kicking Texas Tech gave the Jayhawks. We went to the pumpkin patch with some friends and got through a few more boxes in the garage (We're almost there!) I went home teaching on Sunday and felt fine, so it looks like the feeling fine by Sunday morning routine might just hold up. That is amazing. We have been truly blessed through this trial. I don't wish it on anyone, but, frankly, I don't wish for anyone else's trials, either.

Oh, and one more thing - the hair remains! I'm guessing that it will all fall out right after the final treatment. We'll see.

Seriously, when this whole cancer thing is done, I'm going to try and get back to posting things that are of greater interest - perhaps continue my sports rants, maybe a little politics to counteract my ultra-liberal brother, maybe more on our daily lives and the joy of working in the business world. By the way, my company announced it is merging with Century Telephone today and that the headquarters is moving to Monroe, Louisiana. As much as I love my parents and living close to them in KC, I am really glad we took a job in a field office. I know, Beth and Tim, we'd be within a days drive, but I have no desire to ever move my family to Louisiana. We won't really know how it will effect us until sometime in 2009, but it seems things like this always happen in October in this business - end of the year - planning the new year's budget. All that fun stuff is simply up in the air.

Anyway, those posts will come later. For now, we're down to one treatment left. Good times. You are all invited to our "Chemo is Over" Party in November. I checked and Target does not have a Chemo is Over Registry. I thought that would have been funny to register for things like grapes and apples - things that I haven't been able to eat without cooking them while on chemo. (Believe me, I'd rather go without than eat cooked grapes.) I guess I can only hope that the Sci-Fi channel is showing Leprechaun 2 when I get home from chemo next week. Watching the first one while talking to Joel only left me thirsting for more. Remember, the only way to kill a Leprechaun is to put a four-leaf clover on him and set him on fire. Also, in movies, gasoline doesn't just ignite, it explodes. Good stuff.

10/12 = 5/6, 83.3% Complete

So, I never got around to blogging this weekend - I was pretty wiped out on Friday and Saturday. But, Round 10 is in the books with no significant hair loss. I keep expecting to take a shower and have hair coming out in bunches with the shampoo. But, so far, nothing. With my luck, it will all come out right after the 12th treatment. But, if it happens, it happens, right?

The new medication for these last three rounds definitely had a different effect on me. I was much more sluggish, tired and dealing with stomach issues on Friday, but I started to feel better by Saturday evening, which was nice. Once again, the Lord is blessing us and when I got up on Sunday, I felt fine, despite the continued numbness in my hands and feet. That should now start to go away since it was caused by the medication that I am now allergic to. The doctor said that for most people, it just slowly goes away. For some, it hangs on, but those are usually survivors that have dealt with multiple cancers and chemos. I haven't had any pain, just numbness, so we should be good.

Anyway, I was once again able to go to church and teach my class, which has been a truly amazing blessing. Each Sunday, I just feel better. It's really nice.

I spent much of the weekend walking slowly behind Ryne, who got his crutches on Saturday. He goes back to school tomorrow. He had his follow up appointment today and everything looks really good. Six weeks in the cast, then another four to six weeks in a boot or brace. He's getting more mobile on the crutches and they have been a big hit in the neighborhood. He's a good kid and really trying hard.

All we can say is, what a year!

Just So You Know. . .

Yes, the chemo doctor saw his shadow and ordered three more rounds of chemo. That wasn't that unexpected for us - we kind of thought we were heading down that path going in. The hard part was that he totally set us up at the beginning of the conversation by telling us that there are no studies that prove 12 rounds is better than 9. Leah and I both thought he was going to say, "So, let's just stop here and set up your check-up schedule." But, instead he said, "But there is another drug that we can use to replace the one with which you're having problems. So, we'll do the final three treatments using that drug." Disappointment.

And, as an added bonus, the new drug creates more nausea/diarrhea issues - FUN! Plus, the side-effects paper I have to sign before they give me anything new states that most patients lose their hair after a few days on this drug. I've kept the glorious Karpowitz head of hair through nine treatments - but there's a good chance I'll wake up tomorrow with much of it staying on the pillow. So, if you have any great products you use to get a nice, shiny pate, let me know! (Josh, Joel, Chris, Jeff, I'm looking at you!) I wonder if I have any strange bumps on my scalp. I hope not!

Anyways, that's about it. I'll do my usual post tomorrow after I get the pump out, but wanted all to know that my last two treatments are October 22nd and November 5th, with the pump coming off for the final time on November 7th. We can hardly wait!

Our Odyssey Continues

Suffice it to say, 2008 has been a very interesting year. The proverbial hits just keep on coming! This summer, Ryne learned to ride a two-wheeler - and he is very good at it. Yesterday, after school, Ryne was riding his bike and took a sharp turn. He didn't quite make it and landed in the street with the bike landing on top of him. When I got home, he was resting on the couch, but he wouldn't let anyone touch his leg or move him. When we asked if he could walk on it, he screamed loud enough to wake the dead!

So, off to our favorite spot - the St. Rose Dominican - Sienna hospital emergency room. Seriously, we should just rent space out there! Anyway, after much crying and screaming, we got some x-rays and the "big" bone is broken about four inches above his ankle. (Sorry, Fax, but I don't know all the technical terms!) They put a splint on it last night - again much screaming.

Today, I took him to an orthopedist who took more pictures and got a cast on it - it's a full-leg cast that goes from his toes to about the middle of his thigh. His leg is bent at the knee. He was very nervous, but very brave - though I think the staff was happy when we left. So, he'll be in this cast for about a month, then should get a walking cast after that. Very exciting.

I know the Lord is trying to teach us something - maybe it's just to be thankful that we have some money set aside because those medical bills just keep coming. So, pray for Ryne tonight that the pain will be limited and that he'll get the rest he needs. He's a good boy. I'm very proud of him.

The End of Birthday Season

Yes, it's true. I'm married to a MUCH younger woman. Today we celebrated Leah's birthday and the end of our annual birthday season - five birthdays in six weeks. Every few years, Leah's birthday falls on General Conference weekend, so we celebrated with a birtday lunch and DVR'd the afternoon session today.

What can I say about Leah? She's only the most amazing woman I have every met. I'd love to list out the all the things that make her wonderful, but I'll have to limit myself to only a few.

Leah has to think something is really funny to make her laugh out loud. Now, due to the fact that I am really funny, I'm somewhat disconcerted by the fact that she laughs at Sonic commercials. But she does.

Leah has a less than hidden love for Jeff Goldblum. Yes, my wife loves The Fly. In fact, the other day, when Jurassic Park came on, Kate says, "Look, Mom. Hubba hubba ding ding ding!"

Leah loves the heat. Leah is not interested in the four seasons. She'd take a warm spring, a hot summer, then a mild autumn, then right back to spring. She was a real trooper during those icy Kansas winters and is on cloud nine in Las Vegas, as it was in the 80s on her birthday.

Leah is an incredible mom. She doesn't know this, but that's one of the things that makes her incredible. I love to see how much the kids love her. In fact, when Ryne chose the card he wanted to give her for her birthday, it was listed under the "Romantic Birthday" sign. The card said, "You've got me and I've got you, who says wishes don't come true. Happy Birthday to my hearts favorite." How cute is that?

Finally, Leah inspires me. She is an incredible example of endurance. She chooses the right thing first and places her trust in the Lord. She teaches me all the time about doing the best things first. She is my best friend and the person I most want to spend time with. (Sorry about the dangling participle, Leah.)

Anyway, Happy Birthday to you, Leah! You're the best.

9/12 - 3/4, 75% Complete - We Think!

So, I didn't have time to post yesterday after I got the pump removed. I actually had to go to work. We are hosting a big golf tournament on Monday and I am right in the thick of it. We have executives coming in from KC and customers from all over the valley. I'm the coordinator. I'm not a marketing executive, but I'm handling it this year. Kind of.

Anyway, I had another allergic reaction on Wednesday, so I they didn't give me one of the drugs this time around. We are facing a couple of options and we'll meet with Dr. Parikh the next time I go in to determine what we should do. Option 1 is to finish the last three treatments with some different drugs up front. They won't be as aggressive as what I've been taking, but should be fine, as long as my body can tolerate them.

The other option is to say we're done. I say "we", but that would really be based on the doc's advice. If he says he thinks I've had enough, I'd choose that option in a heartbeat! Anyway, keep us in your prayers as we figure out what needs to come next.

The best part? The drug that my body no longer tolerates (I think it's called Aloxatin) is also the drug that causes my cold sensitivity, so I've been enjoying popsicles for the past few days. Gotta love that!

8/12 = 2/3, 66.7% Complete

I can't believe I'm at the two-thirds mark! Happy day, just four more to go.

This particular treatment was not without incident, however. For the first time, I had an allergic reaction to one of the chemo drugs that I get at the Cancer Center on Wednesdays. I was sitting in my lovely recliner getting ready to answer some emails. I had even told my boss I could be on a conference call - I'd never had any issues before. Well, about 10 minutes into the treatment and 20 minutes before the call was to start, my mouth started itching and I got really warm. Then my whole body was itching and the puking began. Awesome! I felt really bad. They had to stop the chemo and give my Benedryl to stop the allergic reaction. The Benedryl knocked me out for about 90 minutes, and when I woke up, I was fine.

When I went in to get the pump removed today, the nurses said that after a certain number of doses of that particular drug, you body reaches a tolerance and that's when the reactions can begin. So, for the last four treatments, I'll have to take a big dose of Benedryl first to counteract the allergy. That means sleepy time! But, it also means I can't drive myself home, so Leah will be accompanying me to the last four treatments.

But, like I said, only four left. Of course, I'm not looking forward to the next 36 hours of feeling like crap, but hopefully I'll be feeling pretty good by Sunday morning, especially since I'm teaching the Gospel Doctrine lesson again this week!

So, that's it for now. Time for a nap!

Happy Birthday to Kate!

Yesterday, Kate turned 8. We were in Utah for her baptism and didn't get home until late, so this is the first chance I've had to post. Being in Utah was so fun and we loved seeing Kate and Cami baptized together. It was a wonderful day.

Kate is an amazing little girl. She's growing up so fast and some days I feel like I can't keep up! She is great a making friends. We can go to the park and when it's time to go home, she'll say, "That was Emily. She's my best friend now!" It is really an amazing gift.

Kate is very smart and has a phenomenal memory. She can remember so much and works so hard in school. She is very focused on keeping the rules and making good decisions. She makes me so proud to be her dad.

Happy Birthday, Kate!

Great News!

So, we found out today that I DON'T have Hepatitis C. I've had two blood transfusions in the past six months and when I went in for my last chemo treatment, the levels in my liver were a little high. The took a new blood sampel last Wednesday, but Quest lost it. So, they took more blood on Friday. The results came back today and the nurses called with the good news.

We were a bit worried there for a while. We didn't want to get everyone excited yet until we knew for sure what was going on. The blood transfusions are nerve racking. They basically make you sign your life away saying you won't sue if you get sick or die because they can't confirm that the blood is 100% clean. They are 99.9% sure everything is good, but that last .1% is cause for concern.

So, the news was good this time. Yeah!

7/12, 58.3% Complete

Man, am I tired! This last round really took it out of me. I am just exhausted. I've had to work (from home) yesterday and today, but I am just beat! That's okay, though. We're on the downhill side.

I had lots of aches and pains this time while wearing the pump. That part seems to be picking up. The numbness is now pretty constant in my fingers, feet and tongue. That's a pretty strange feeling. It never really went away from round six, so I'm expecting to be living with it for the next few months. The doctor said not to worry about the numbness unless it starts hurting, too. That's when I'd need to be looking for some medicine.

Still dealing with the blood issue - we just can't get it to settle on a level. The doctor talked about going back on Lovonox, but I really want to avoid that. My stomach can't take it anymore, though I have plenty left under the sink.

But, despite the exhaution, I'm feeling okay. I expect to be pretty out of it today and tomorrow, then coming back on Sunday - at least that has been the pattern thus far. I appreciate all your thoughts and prayers. Only five treatments to go!