Is Winning A Crime?

Things I Wish I'd Known

2009-06-15T20:32:00.001-07:00

What would you say to your younger self if you could go back in time? Here are some of mine...

* You'll never use Calculus again.

* Your baseball cards will not appreciate in value. In fact, they will most likely depreciate due to a massive public marketplace called E-Bay. Take economics and learn about supply and demand.

* No one on the team is going to make the pros (or even play at a major college, for that matter), so don't worry so much about it.

* Big round glasses, pegged jeans and sweater vests will, in fact, go out of style. The CRX will not.

* Just because you danced to "Wonderful Tonight" doesn't mean it will last forever.

* It is possible to stop growing in 8th grade. 5'10" power forwards don't get drafted, nor do quarterbacks who can't run and catchers who can't see.

* Paul Pierce, Jacque Vaughn, Raef LaFrentz, Nick Collison, Drew Gooden, Kirk Hinrich and, most especially, Roy Williams will all break your heart. But, keep your eye on that Bill Self fella.

* Driving 100 mph in a '76 Toyota Corolla is a bad idea, especially on a back country road. Also, jumping on a trampoline in the middle of the day with nobody at home is still trespassing, even if your friends with their daughter. Especially when it's the D.A.'s trampoline.

* Calling every 20 minutes and going 10 miles out of your way to drive by her house is not going to make her like you.

* You'll miss going to the Priesthood Session with Dad, Mom asking what you did last night and the Monday Night Phantom more than you'll miss going to movies, hanging out in the high school parking lot and Monday Night Football.

Not For Kids, Anymore

2009-05-14T10:04:00.000-07:00

I know, I know. I haven't been around much lately. The blogger bug has left me for a while. Maybe this will get me back on track!

Anyway, I saw this video earlier today. It makes me feel sad.

Some of my favorite memories from being a kid surround baseball and football cards. I loved opening up those packs and seeing the players inside, trading cards with my friends, hoping for a Ryne Sandberg or a George Brett. I would save my allowance and paper route money for weeks so I could go to JD's Baseball Card Shop and buy some cards. I honestly believe it helped me develop my love for sports today.

The saddest part of this video comes when these guys talk about opening the packs and how excited they get. Then you see how much these things cost today. My kids will probably never know what that feels like. Maybe that's silly, but it still makes me feel down.

Prioritites

2009-01-30T10:07:00.000-08:00

Last night, Leah was reviewing Ryne's spelling list with him.

She says, Ryne, how do you spell "we"?

Ryne responds quickly, "W-i-i!"

The boy definately inherited the genes of serveral uncles and cousins.

Happy Chinese New Year

2009-01-28T08:48:00.000-08:00

You may have already seen this on Leah's blog, but it's too funny not to share.

Kate has been learning about the Chinese New Year and had an assignment to make a fortune cookie with something nice on it.

Here's what she made.

Good times.

Hacked Off!

2009-01-15T10:05:00.000-08:00

Well, it's true. My amazing wife hacked into my blog - well, that wasn't too hard. She asked me for my gmail address and password so she could check on which Redbox receipts had come in. Fool me once, shame on me, right?! Anyway, with a little help from a certain sister-in-law that, during her last visit, admitted to enjoying being mean (Sarah, I'm looking your way!) - these two made me realize something very important. I am really bad at laughing at myself. I mean it. (Sorry about that, Leah.) So, in an attempt to get over that glaring fault, I thought I'd better clear up some of my top 10 - and no, I don't generally use the word "moi"!

1. I am a thespian and you're not! Well, there is just no denying this one. I am, in fact, a Thespian. If you're not familiar with the Lawrence Applebee's, you probably don't know that my picture once adorned those walls. Yes, I was voted "Best Actor" in Lawrence High School in 1992. I received a theater scholarship from the University of Kansas. I was a theater major for my first semester at BYU. In fact, I'm acting right now. You probably couldn't even tell!

2. I persevered through chemo and unlike Laman and Lemuel I chose not to murmur (1Nephi 3:7). Leah was perhaps too kind on this one. I recall many Thursday, Friday and Saturday nights complaining about how crappy I felt. Did I try and kill my brothers for it? As far as Joel and Chris know, I did not. Let's just say I'm happy that part is over.

3. I lost 70 lbs. in 3 months (for weight loss tips please contact me at skinnyboy@boogyboards.com). Yes, my weight loss was dramatic. I'm thinking about doing a weight loss infomercial to play at 1:00 in the morning on ESPN. "I had a malignant tumor growing in my belly - AND SO CAN YOU!" Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on how you look at it) I've gained about 40 pounds of that weight back. Not quite as big as I was, but definitely bigger. You could even call me "beefy". Also, I don't know where that email address will go. Do I now have an account at boogyboards.com? Leah, Sarah, a little help?

4. I've been taking tae kwon do this year and I'm pretty sure I could kick the crap out of you (leah won't let me sign up for UFC). Sadly, this one is a complete fabrication, unless you count the karate I do at home with the kids, which basically entails me getting kicked in the shins and the forearms until someone inevitably goes for the boy spot and spoils all the fun. Can you imagine me in UFC, though? Are you allowed to fight with a shirt on?

5. Leah Fosse married me she is quite the sexy lady. This is true all all accounts. I definitely married up. I'm still expecting to come home from work one day to a note that says, "Finally realized I could do better than you. Don't forget to empty the dishwasher. Leah." Seriously, I had a dream a couple weeks ago where she told me she was marrying a guy from our ward because he would be a better provider. Talk about popping the self-esteem balloon!

6. I know that through all of my afflictions I have become SUPER humble!!! Like in that one scripture that says something about willing to submit to all the the gnarley stuff that the Lord seeth fit to conflict at me. Here was another tip-off to the hack job. Anyone who knows me knows I could have been humble, but when the Jayhawks won the 2008 National Championship, the humble ship sailed. That's right! National Champs! As Tina Fey recently said . . . No, I'd better not go there.

7. I was in a band in High School, I was the dancer (not quite Merit Badge but still pretty bodacious!) Another true one that Leah loves to share with all who will listen. This was a garage band trying to play Pearl Jam, the Red Hot Chili Peppers and lots of Nirvana. My job as a dancer was to get the mosh pit started. So we (there were two of us) would run out and start crashing into each other and to anyone near the stage. It was awesome. Still, it's true. Nothing compared to Merit Badge.

8. My love of mayonnaise, as most of you know, is almost a fetish. But now that we live in Vegas I enjoy it in Popsicle form. YUM! YUM! You should try it. Leah failed to mention some key ingredients here. First of all, it's Miracle Whip, not mayo. That would be disgusting. Second, you have to mix it with frozen lemonade concentrate. It's perfect for ward socials. Seriously, someone served this as a dessert on my mission. In pie form with whipped cream on top. My companion ate the entire pie. I'm surprised he lived through the night.

9. In these perilous times I have decided to renew my membership with the NRA. Wanna meet at Bass Pro Shop, upstairs to check out their latest selection of handguns and other weaponry. Seriously, this is just good advice. Who hasn't done this? What if the government tries to take our guns? Haven't they read the constitution!!!!!

10. Last weekend I got had boudoir photos taken to hang in our love nest (she will so not be able to keep her paws off of me). Will post at a later date. How Leah found out this little secret, I'll never know. But now that the cat is out of the bag, the photos have been destroyed. The surprise is ruined. But, don't worry, I'm ordering her Valentine's Day present from Bass Pro Shop.

So, there you have it. As for the play list to the right, I can't complain. Those are some great songs. I may add to them, but I certainly won't be taking them down. Also, I don't know how to take it down or add to them.

And, finally, to my wife and my sister-in-law. You know what they say about payback, right?

Ode To Me (Why I'm Awesome)

2009-01-14T11:23:00.000-08:00

I know I haven't posted in a while and since it's a new year I thought I would dedicate it to Moi'.

Top ten reasons why I rock:

1. I am a thespian and you're not!
2. I perservered through chemo and unlike Laman and Lemuel I chose not to murmur (1Nephi 3:7)
3. I lost 70 lbs. in 3 months (for weight loss tips please contact me at skinnyboy@boogyboards.com)
4. I've been taking tae kwon do this year and I'm pretty sure I could kick the crap out of you (leah won't let me sign up for UFC)
5. Leah Fosse married me she is quite the sexy lady
6. I know that through all of my afflictions I have become SUPER humble!!! Like in that one scripture that says something about willing to submit to all the the gnarley stuff that the Lord seeth fit to conflict at me.
7. I was in a band in High School, I was the dancer (not quite Merit Badge but still pretty bodacious!)
8. My love of mayonaisse, as most of you know, is almost a fettish. But now that we live in Vegas I enjoy it in popscicle form. YUM! YUM! You should try it.
9. In these perilous times I have decided to renew my membership with the NRA. Wanna meet at Bass Pro Shop, upstairs to check out their latest selection of handguns and other weaponry.
10. Last weekend I got had boudiar photos taken to hang in our love nest (she will so not be able to keep her paws off of me). Will post at a later date.

Please check out my new play list to the side it's all the songs that I love!! With a special shout out to my special lady Leah and her smokin' hot sister Sarah, because in all I do they complete me.

Ode to the Chiefs

2008-11-13T12:29:00.000-08:00

Oh, team of Red and Gold
Your awfulness at times astounds me.
A single victory stands on your record
Like a gorgeous rose amidst
A sea of thorns.
Yet that victory was not so much gorgeous.
Perhaps aberration.

Dear Carl, why do you
Torment me with your insolence?
Whey did we keep you
And lose Marty?
You are like a bad sandwich
That keeps repeating on me.
Only you are worse.

Herman, Herman, Herman
Please answer a simple question
With a simple answer.
You are friends with Clark
So will probably be back
For 2009.
Please be better.

Defense, where art thou
In the 4th Quarter?
Are you too tired to
Play an entire game?
You are so rich and yet
So pitiful.
The Jets just scored again.

Tyler Thigpen is the Quarterback?
I thought he was the dirty kid
In Peanuts.
Next year you can tutor
Tebow of the Gators
Or Stafford of the Dawgs.
I can dream.

Perhaps we are but paying
For the multiple transgressions
Of Derrick Thomas
Or the multiple felonies
Of Bam Morris
Or the constant arrests
Of Larry Johnson.

No matter what
I wear my Red and Gold with pride
Amid cackles from
Patriots and Broncos and even Browns.
I'd like to DVR your games
But no one will show them here.
Maybe in 2011.

12.12 = 100%, WE'RE DONE WITH CHEMO!

2008-11-07T16:43:00.001-08:00

I can't believe it's finally over. Chemo is complete. I'm bald, but that's okay. It's done! Yeah!

Truly, I can't tell you how much we've relied on the prayers and support of those of you who have seen us through this challenge. Leah and I feel very strongly that one of the reasons we needed to be in Las Vegas was to experience this trial. I don't know why, but I do know this is where the Lord wanted us. Are we done with trials? Of course not. Just see the kid flying around the neighborhood on crutches! However, the chemo part of this process is over and I am so grateful.

We know that with cancer there is just no guarantee - though I AM guaranteed never to get colon cancer again! All signs right now point to a healthy future. I will continue with regular scans and checks. In about six months, they can remove the port from my chest, but they want it in for a while as a precaution. We've learned so much in this process. We've learned that we have the greatest support group of family and friends you can imagine, both here, in Kansas, in Utah and throughout points across the United States. You've all been awesome. We've learned that good insurance is nothing to scoff at. Our insurance is going up in 2009 to the point that we would have been paying a huge amount off if this had happened next year, even at 10% after the deductible. We've learned to cherish our family and especially our children. We've read more from the scriptures and the brethren and watched fewer movies than we expected. We've realized the importance of both giving and receiving service. I can honestly say that I think we're stronger because of this experience. That's amazing to me.

We'll be having a chemo is over party here and perhaps a second one in Utah. We love you all so much. Thank you for your support and smile a smile for us tonight - CHEMO IS OVER!

Baldy Balderson

2008-11-01T15:33:00.000-07:00

Okay, it's done. I'm bald and I promised pictures. So, here I am this morning:

I spent the morning cleaning the cars and taking them through the car wash. Then it was time. They shaved one side, then the top, then the back and the last side. So, at one point, I was bald on top and one side, but if you looked at the other side, where I still had hair, Leah said I looked just like my dad. Only one word for that. . . Handsome!

So, here it comes....

Are you ready?

Are you sure you want to see this?

Okay, Here we go:

So far, the kids have really enjoyed touching it. My biggest fear was that I'd have some sort of strange bumps or ridges on my head, but it looks good, for the most part. Also, my eyes are magic.

Stinks

2008-10-30T23:14:00.000-07:00

My hair started falling out today. That's all I have to say.

11/12, 91.7% Complete

2008-10-27T12:26:00.000-07:00

I can't believe I only have one more treatment left. In retrospect, it has actually gone by rather quickly, for which I am extremely grateful.

I'm sorry I've not written on Friday or Saturday the past two treatments. My only explanation is that, with the new medication, I am MUCH more tired after the treatment. I took naps Thursday and Friday and still went to bed at about 10:00. That's very rare for me - I'm a bit more of a night owl than Leah.

Anyway, except for the exhaustion, I managed this one all right. It does make me a bit sick on Wednesday and I've found I'm much more out of it on Wednesday - Friday than with the other medication, which really effected me on Friday-Saturday. We actually had a fairly active Saturday, though I did lie down in the afternoon for a bit - but that may have been depression over the rear-end kicking Texas Tech gave the Jayhawks. We went to the pumpkin patch with some friends and got through a few more boxes in the garage (We're almost there!) I went home teaching on Sunday and felt fine, so it looks like the feeling fine by Sunday morning routine might just hold up. That is amazing. We have been truly blessed through this trial. I don't wish it on anyone, but, frankly, I don't wish for anyone else's trials, either.

Oh, and one more thing - the hair remains! I'm guessing that it will all fall out right after the final treatment. We'll see.

Seriously, when this whole cancer thing is done, I'm going to try and get back to posting things that are of greater interest - perhaps continue my sports rants, maybe a little politics to counteract my ultra-liberal brother, maybe more on our daily lives and the joy of working in the business world. By the way, my company announced it is merging with Century Telephone today and that the headquarters is moving to Monroe, Louisiana. As much as I love my parents and living close to them in KC, I am really glad we took a job in a field office. I know, Beth and Tim, we'd be within a days drive, but I have no desire to ever move my family to Louisiana. We won't really know how it will effect us until sometime in 2009, but it seems things like this always happen in October in this business - end of the year - planning the new year's budget. All that fun stuff is simply up in the air.

Anyway, those posts will come later. For now, we're down to one treatment left. Good times. You are all invited to our "Chemo is Over" Party in November. I checked and Target does not have a Chemo is Over Registry. I thought that would have been funny to register for things like grapes and apples - things that I haven't been able to eat without cooking them while on chemo. (Believe me, I'd rather go without than eat cooked grapes.) I guess I can only hope that the Sci-Fi channel is showing Leprechaun 2 when I get home from chemo next week. Watching the first one while talking to Joel only left me thirsting for more. Remember, the only way to kill a Leprechaun is to put a four-leaf clover on him and set him on fire. Also, in movies, gasoline doesn't just ignite, it explodes. Good stuff.

10/12 = 5/6, 83.3% Complete

2008-10-13T12:09:00.001-07:00

So, I never got around to blogging this weekend - I was pretty wiped out on Friday and Saturday. But, Round 10 is in the books with no significant hair loss. I keep expecting to take a shower and have hair coming out in bunches with the shampoo. But, so far, nothing. With my luck, it will all come out right after the 12th treatment. But, if it happens, it happens, right?

The new medication for these last three rounds definitely had a different effect on me. I was much more sluggish, tired and dealing with stomach issues on Friday, but I started to feel better by Saturday evening, which was nice. Once again, the Lord is blessing us and when I got up on Sunday, I felt fine, despite the continued numbness in my hands and feet. That should now start to go away since it was caused by the medication that I am now allergic to. The doctor said that for most people, it just slowly goes away. For some, it hangs on, but those are usually survivors that have dealt with multiple cancers and chemos. I haven't had any pain, just numbness, so we should be good.

Anyway, I was once again able to go to church and teach my class, which has been a truly amazing blessing. Each Sunday, I just feel better. It's really nice.

I spent much of the weekend walking slowly behind Ryne, who got his crutches on Saturday. He goes back to school tomorrow. He had his follow up appointment today and everything looks really good. Six weeks in the cast, then another four to six weeks in a boot or brace. He's getting more mobile on the crutches and they have been a big hit in the neighborhood. He's a good kid and really trying hard.

All we can say is, what a year!

Just So You Know. . .

2008-10-09T13:59:00.000-07:00

Yes, the chemo doctor saw his shadow and ordered three more rounds of chemo. That wasn't that unexpected for us - we kind of thought we were heading down that path going in. The hard part was that he totally set us up at the beginning of the conversation by telling us that there are no studies that prove 12 rounds is better than 9. Leah and I both thought he was going to say, "So, let's just stop here and set up your check-up schedule." But, instead he said, "But there is another drug that we can use to replace the one with which you're having problems. So, we'll do the final three treatments using that drug." Disappointment.

And, as an added bonus, the new drug creates more nausea/diarrhea issues - FUN! Plus, the side-effects paper I have to sign before they give me anything new states that most patients lose their hair after a few days on this drug. I've kept the glorious Karpowitz head of hair through nine treatments - but there's a good chance I'll wake up tomorrow with much of it staying on the pillow. So, if you have any great products you use to get a nice, shiny pate, let me know! (Josh, Joel, Chris, Jeff, I'm looking at you!) I wonder if I have any strange bumps on my scalp. I hope not!

Anyways, that's about it. I'll do my usual post tomorrow after I get the pump out, but wanted all to know that my last two treatments are October 22nd and November 5th, with the pump coming off for the final time on November 7th. We can hardly wait!

Our Odyssey Continues

2008-10-07T17:26:00.000-07:00

Suffice it to say, 2008 has been a very interesting year. The proverbial hits just keep on coming! This summer, Ryne learned to ride a two-wheeler - and he is very good at it. Yesterday, after school, Ryne was riding his bike and took a sharp turn. He didn't quite make it and landed in the street with the bike landing on top of him. When I got home, he was resting on the couch, but he wouldn't let anyone touch his leg or move him. When we asked if he could walk on it, he screamed loud enough to wake the dead!

So, off to our favorite spot - the St. Rose Dominican - Sienna hospital emergency room. Seriously, we should just rent space out there! Anyway, after much crying and screaming, we got some x-rays and the "big" bone is broken about four inches above his ankle. (Sorry, Fax, but I don't know all the technical terms!) They put a splint on it last night - again much screaming.

Today, I took him to an orthopedist who took more pictures and got a cast on it - it's a full-leg cast that goes from his toes to about the middle of his thigh. His leg is bent at the knee. He was very nervous, but very brave - though I think the staff was happy when we left. So, he'll be in this cast for about a month, then should get a walking cast after that. Very exciting.

I know the Lord is trying to teach us something - maybe it's just to be thankful that we have some money set aside because those medical bills just keep coming. So, pray for Ryne tonight that the pain will be limited and that he'll get the rest he needs. He's a good boy. I'm very proud of him.

The End of Birthday Season

2008-10-04T19:48:00.000-07:00

Yes, it's true. I'm married to a MUCH younger woman. Today we celebrated Leah's birthday and the end of our annual birthday season - five birthdays in six weeks. Every few years, Leah's birthday falls on General Conference weekend, so we celebrated with a birtday lunch and DVR'd the afternoon session today.

What can I say about Leah? She's only the most amazing woman I have every met. I'd love to list out the all the things that make her wonderful, but I'll have to limit myself to only a few.

Leah has to think something is really funny to make her laugh out loud. Now, due to the fact that I am really funny, I'm somewhat disconcerted by the fact that she laughs at Sonic commercials. But she does.

Leah has a less than hidden love for Jeff Goldblum. Yes, my wife loves The Fly. In fact, the other day, when Jurassic Park came on, Kate says, "Look, Mom. Hubba hubba ding ding ding!"

Leah loves the heat. Leah is not interested in the four seasons. She'd take a warm spring, a hot summer, then a mild autumn, then right back to spring. She was a real trooper during those icy Kansas winters and is on cloud nine in Las Vegas, as it was in the 80s on her birthday.

Leah is an incredible mom. She doesn't know this, but that's one of the things that makes her incredible. I love to see how much the kids love her. In fact, when Ryne chose the card he wanted to give her for her birthday, it was listed under the "Romantic Birthday" sign. The card said, "You've got me and I've got you, who says wishes don't come true. Happy Birthday to my hearts favorite." How cute is that?

Finally, Leah inspires me. She is an incredible example of endurance. She chooses the right thing first and places her trust in the Lord. She teaches me all the time about doing the best things first. She is my best friend and the person I most want to spend time with. (Sorry about the dangling participle, Leah.)

Anyway, Happy Birthday to you, Leah! You're the best.

9/12 - 3/4, 75% Complete - We Think!

2008-09-27T10:25:00.000-07:00

So, I didn't have time to post yesterday after I got the pump removed. I actually had to go to work. We are hosting a big golf tournament on Monday and I am right in the thick of it. We have executives coming in from KC and customers from all over the valley. I'm the coordinator. I'm not a marketing executive, but I'm handling it this year. Kind of.

Anyway, I had another allergic reaction on Wednesday, so I they didn't give me one of the drugs this time around. We are facing a couple of options and we'll meet with Dr. Parikh the next time I go in to determine what we should do. Option 1 is to finish the last three treatments with some different drugs up front. They won't be as aggressive as what I've been taking, but should be fine, as long as my body can tolerate them.

The other option is to say we're done. I say "we", but that would really be based on the doc's advice. If he says he thinks I've had enough, I'd choose that option in a heartbeat! Anyway, keep us in your prayers as we figure out what needs to come next.

The best part? The drug that my body no longer tolerates (I think it's called Aloxatin) is also the drug that causes my cold sensitivity, so I've been enjoying popsicles for the past few days. Gotta love that!

8/12 = 2/3, 66.7% Complete

2008-09-12T14:15:00.001-07:00

I can't believe I'm at the two-thirds mark! Happy day, just four more to go.

This particular treatment was not without incident, however. For the first time, I had an allergic reaction to one of the chemo drugs that I get at the Cancer Center on Wednesdays. I was sitting in my lovely recliner getting ready to answer some emails. I had even told my boss I could be on a conference call - I'd never had any issues before. Well, about 10 minutes into the treatment and 20 minutes before the call was to start, my mouth started itching and I got really warm. Then my whole body was itching and the puking began. Awesome! I felt really bad. They had to stop the chemo and give my Benedryl to stop the allergic reaction. The Benedryl knocked me out for about 90 minutes, and when I woke up, I was fine.

When I went in to get the pump removed today, the nurses said that after a certain number of doses of that particular drug, you body reaches a tolerance and that's when the reactions can begin. So, for the last four treatments, I'll have to take a big dose of Benedryl first to counteract the allergy. That means sleepy time! But, it also means I can't drive myself home, so Leah will be accompanying me to the last four treatments.

But, like I said, only four left. Of course, I'm not looking forward to the next 36 hours of feeling like crap, but hopefully I'll be feeling pretty good by Sunday morning, especially since I'm teaching the Gospel Doctrine lesson again this week!

So, that's it for now. Time for a nap!

Happy Birthday to Kate!

2008-09-07T21:53:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, Kate turned 8. We were in Utah for her baptism and didn't get home until late, so this is the first chance I've had to post. Being in Utah was so fun and we loved seeing Kate and Cami baptized together. It was a wonderful day.

Kate is an amazing little girl. She's growing up so fast and some days I feel like I can't keep up! She is great a making friends. We can go to the park and when it's time to go home, she'll say, "That was Emily. She's my best friend now!" It is really an amazing gift.

Kate is very smart and has a phenomenal memory. She can remember so much and works so hard in school. She is very focused on keeping the rules and making good decisions. She makes me so proud to be her dad.

Happy Birthday, Kate!

Great News!

2008-09-02T12:52:00.001-07:00

So, we found out today that I DON'T have Hepatitis C. I've had two blood transfusions in the past six months and when I went in for my last chemo treatment, the levels in my liver were a little high. The took a new blood sampel last Wednesday, but Quest lost it. So, they took more blood on Friday. The results came back today and the nurses called with the good news.

We were a bit worried there for a while. We didn't want to get everyone excited yet until we knew for sure what was going on. The blood transfusions are nerve racking. They basically make you sign your life away saying you won't sue if you get sick or die because they can't confirm that the blood is 100% clean. They are 99.9% sure everything is good, but that last .1% is cause for concern.

So, the news was good this time. Yeah!

7/12, 58.3% Complete

2008-08-29T13:48:00.000-07:00

Man, am I tired! This last round really took it out of me. I am just exhausted. I've had to work (from home) yesterday and today, but I am just beat! That's okay, though. We're on the downhill side.

I had lots of aches and pains this time while wearing the pump. That part seems to be picking up. The numbness is now pretty constant in my fingers, feet and tongue. That's a pretty strange feeling. It never really went away from round six, so I'm expecting to be living with it for the next few months. The doctor said not to worry about the numbness unless it starts hurting, too. That's when I'd need to be looking for some medicine.

Still dealing with the blood issue - we just can't get it to settle on a level. The doctor talked about going back on Lovonox, but I really want to avoid that. My stomach can't take it anymore, though I have plenty left under the sink.

But, despite the exhaution, I'm feeling okay. I expect to be pretty out of it today and tomorrow, then coming back on Sunday - at least that has been the pattern thus far. I appreciate all your thoughts and prayers. Only five treatments to go!

Happy Birthday, Emma and Ryne!

2008-08-22T13:51:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday, Emma and Ryne! I am so happy to be your dad! I can't believe it's been six years already.

Here are some vital things you need to know about Emma and Ryne.

Emma is the cautious one. She likes to wait and see.

Ryne will try anything. He loves to climb and jump and play.

Emma is the fashion queen. She dresses herself. . . sometimes three or four times a day.

Ryne would much rather just hang out in his pajamas (underwear optional).

Emma laughs loud and hard.

Ryne does everything loud.

Emma likes to stay at home, like Dad.

Ryne likes to be out and active, like Mom.

I love them more than I can express. They are incredible. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, EMMA AND RYNE!

6/12 = 1/2, 50% Complete!

2008-08-15T11:16:00.000-07:00

Halfway done! Yeah!!!!

I just got back from getting the pump removed and we are officially halfway done with the chemo. I am thrilled. Except for the fact that each treatment is more exhausting than the one before, I can now say that I'm on the homestretch, the back nine, the third quarter or whatever sports metaphor you want to use. That makes me really happy.

This was an interesting round. For the first time, the doctor decided to give me the red blood cell shot that is supposed to increase red blood cell production in the bone marrow. I was excited based on the apparently false assumption that more red blood cells equals more energy. So, as with any new medication, they have me sign the form saying I'm agreeing to get the shot and listing all the potential side-effects. The most common side-effect? You guessed it - fatigue. And they weren't lying. I've been exhausted for the past few days. I got the white blood cell booster today again, which means body aches for the next couple of days, but oh, well.

I've also had some heart palpitations this week, so it looks like I'm going to go into the cardiologist in the next few days to see what that's all about. Nothing terribly painful, but last Saturday, my heart just started beating really fast. It happened in the hospital after the blood clots, too, but they attributed it to the clots. It's happened twice now since leaving the hospital and so we just want to make sure we're not missing something. Blood clots should not be a big concern right now because of the Coumaden - I think I spell that differently every time - but it should be keeping my blood relatively thin, so who knows. I'll keep you up to date.

One very strange side-effect popped up this week. I've had numbness in my fingers, toes and mouth with each treatment. This time, the mouth numbness really effected my tongue. On Wednesday night, I was reading Happy Potter and the Goblet of Fire to the kids and all of a sudden, I developed a lisp. It was like I couldn't get my tongue to go where it was supposed to go. It was very strange. The kids thought it was hilarious. They laughed and laughed. I think my tongue was just tired because it went away after I stopped reading and got some rest. I just hope it doesn't happen at work on an important conference call or something. Oh, well. What can you do!?

Anyway, I'm feeling tired and will spend the next few days resting up. But, now that we're on the second half, we can start planning the done with chemo party for November! You're all invited! I can't wait - I can actually have ice-cold drinks for Thanksgiving! Should be fun. Thank you all for your continued prayers and support. I really couldn't make it with out them and you need to know that I feel that strength in my life. Prayer really does work. Have a great weekend!

10 Years in the Books!

2008-08-14T13:38:00.001-07:00

It's hard to believe, but 10 years ago today, Leah and I were married in the Oakland Temple, or, according to Leah, the True Temple. It's remarkable to me how much we've grown in that time. Leah has taught me so much and has constantly been there for me. I don't know that I can truly express how very much I love her. She is my best friend - the one I look forward to seeing most, whether at the end of my work day, after two weeks away in Utah or just after an errand. She is the greatest and here are just a few of the reasons why.

1) I love that Leah has a great love for music. And, I'm talking about more than just her crush on JT, the only man for whom I fear she would leave me - if only just to travel with him as a roadie for a year.

She knows so much about music - especially from about 1970 to 1998. She grew up with music as a big part of her home life due to her father's love for music. She likes to tease me about how much more she knows about music by playing the "Name the Artist" game when listening to the radio. The only way I ever have a chance is to start playing before she knows we are playing so I at least get the first point. For our anniversary, we went to see The Steve Miller Band. (Yes, it was AWESOME even though we had to leave before they played The Joker!) It was so fun to see how excited Leah was. We'll be going to concerts more often simply because I saw how happy that makes her. But that's not all, I'm assuming our bishop doesn't read this blog, so I've got to tell you that Leah is a very good pianist. I bought her a hymn book for Mother's Day and I love to listen to her play. She's really very good, but she doesn't like to play with people singing along. Leah always makes sure music has a place in our home.

2) Leah is a financial genius. She has been in charge, for the last few years, of our checkbook and bill paying. In that time, we are completely out of consumer debt - with a few lingering medical bills from our exciting 2008, our student loans and the van as the only real debt we have right now. I can't express how grateful I am to her for her willingness to take on those responsibilities. About once a month, she'll give me a couple of bills that I am in charge of "calling on" to make sure the balance is correct. Let me tell you, that's a small price to pay for her being willing to do so much for our finances. She told me her next project is our retirement accounts. I can't wait! At this rate, I should be able to retire in another ten years, right?!

3) I love Leah's loyalty. She is fiercely loyal to those she loves and/or respects. He strongest loyalties lie with our family. She would do anything for them, and often does. She's never looking for recognition, she just loves them so much, be it our own kids, which are obviously number one, or her side of the family or even my side of the family. She cares so much about each of you and it is reflected in her thoughts, prayers and actions.

4) Leah loves the Gospel of Jesus Christ and has a very strong testimony. I'll never forget when we were dating, she really called me on the carpet about R-rated movies, movies that I was willing to see because of rationalizations like better story lines and more A-list actors and directors. She simply said, "The prophet has said don't see them. That's good enough for me." Shortly after we were married, I got rid of all of my old R-rated movies on VHS and I can honestly say I haven't seen one in probably 8 years. She is dedicated to doing exactly what the Brethren say and her testimony of modern prophets is a great example to me. She chooses to choose the right every day. I love that about her.

5) Leah loves the 4th of July. Her favorite holidays include the 4th and Halloween in front of some of the biggies. How awesome is that! Leah is always looking for 4th of July parades and fireworks shows for us to take the kids to. She is so fun. This is a picture of her with the kids at the Salazar's 4th of July party in 2007. She was happy as could be, surrounded by friends and family. It was a really fun night and Leah is a big part of why.

6) Leah is an amazing friend. I've already said that she is easily my best friend, but she is such a good friend to others. It is important to her to have good friends that she can talk to and laugh with. That was a big concern when we left the Ottawa Ward - leaving behind those valued friendships. She reads the blogs of those friends and has found friends from college and high school as well. She is sincerely interested in the happiness of others. She calls it blog-stalking, but I think a big part of it is knowing that her friends are happy. I can't tell you how much she's wanted to be back in Kansas to hold all those new babies coming to that ward. She's making friends here in Henderson and that's fun for me to see. She is a great friend to have.

7) I don't want to brag, but Leah is drop-dead gorgeous. I'm just saying. . . I know looks aren't everything in a person, but she's got me wrapped around her little finger - unless I'm already in bed and she wants a pop. Leah is not a vain woman, but she has spent the last 11 years that I've known her searching for the perfect short haircut. I love her current one. . . she's not convinced. She's still beautiful.

8) And speaking of pop, Leah loves the stuff. She loves it! She would drink it for every meal, if possible. If she could have a food storage room full of pop, she'd do it. I'm always impressed at Costco that she doesn't buy the flats of pop, even though I know she'd like to. Maybe when we have a bigger house. . .

9) Leah accepts and supports me no matter what. This last year has not been easy. . . with the move and the surgery and now the chemotherapy. I've put her through a lot of stress, but she stands by me and I couldn't have done any of these things without her. It breaks my heart when she cries and I know my health problems have caused plenty of tears these past few months. I'm so grateful that things are getting better now, but I'm even more grateful for our temple relationship that tells me we will be together forever. What a blessing it is to know that my best friend and the person I love the most will be by me forever. Talk about motivation to stay on the straight and narrow! I don't know what I'd do without her.

10) Last, but certainly not least, I love the fact that Leah loves being a mother. She is an amazing mother. The love that she has for our three kids is truly inspiring. She is protective and concerned - starting a new school has been torture for Leah, more than anyone. She wants so much for them to be happy and responsible and good. And they are. That's the thing to me that speaks so highly of her abilities and dedication as Mom. Our kids love her right back. They reach out to her with full faith that she will be there to catch them. They are well behaved. . . because of Leah. They love to read. . . because of Leah. They try and choose the right. . . because of Leah. She is the best. She is inspiring.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, LEAH! I LOVE YOU.

A Ward Family

2008-08-12T12:54:00.000-07:00

For some reason, I've thought a lot about this post, but haven't quite been able to figure out how to say what I've been thinking, which is kind of frustrating! In fact, even as I write this, I'm not sure if I can make my thoughts flow the way I want them to. I think my thoughts have multiple parts, each new thought stemming from the one before, if that makes sense. So, I'll start at the beginning.

Last week, a powerful man passed away. When I think of Howard Rytting, the word that comes to mind is steadfast. He was a constant symbol of faith and good works. He was, at different times, my home teacher, part of my bishopric, part of my stake presidency, and always a great friend to our family. My dad and Brother Rytting always kind of go together in my head. Because of their service in the Church, they were often together. Brother Rytting was the one Dad would call to help give a blessing when one of us was sick. The Rytting home was a place we knew we could go and be safe, even when throwing toilet paper in their trees and stabbing forks into their lawn. My point is that Brother Rytting was always there, doing what the Lord had asked him to do, with a smile and a handshake and some kind words. He was there at Christmas time singing in the Ward Choir. He was there at Priesthood Meeting with his sons. He was there at Stake Conference, usually sitting on the stand with Dad. He was constant and immovable and steadfast.

As I thought this past week about the Rytting family, the second thought in this train occured to me. I was really blessed as a child to grow up in the same ward and with the same people. The Lawrence Ward, and then the Lawrence 2nd Ward was a place where I could always feel comfortable. There are so many in that ward that have been there for so long and they are an essential part of who I am. Some moved away, some passed away, but many remained for many years - even now, when I visit my parents, I feel so welcome and comfortable in that ward. There was Sister Lindsey, who let us park in her driveway as long as we promised to come in and have a cookie after school. I'll never forget seeing her house from the Centennial school playground and feeling like I had a friend close by. There were the McClure's, who always sat on that same side pew in the chapel. There was Susan Peterson, who I had to remember to call Miss Peterson at school. There was the 4th of July picnic at Benny Stewart's house, Klissa at Allen Field House and home teaching Art Sloan and the Faucher's. There were the Remke's and Thanksgiving dessert, the Kaleikini's and "Aloha!", the Haslam's and the vegetables from their amazing garden. There are so many that I think of when I think of the Lawrence Wards.

So that takes me to the third piece of this puzzle. On Sunday, our ward was split into two wards. Now, we haven't been here long enough to have any truly enduring friendships, so for us, the split was really just another day at church. We wanted to make sure that each of our kids had at least one friend with whom they were comfortable. And they do, so that's good. But, the thoughts about Brother Rytting and about my own "home" ward made me miss the constancy and friendships of those Lawrence Wards. Now, don't get me wrong. I'm all for the growth of the Church. It's amazing how strong it is here in the Henderson area. But with that growth comes a constant shifting of the boundaries and that means that you lose out on some of those long-lasting relationships. I want my kids to look back on their youth and love the wards in which we lived. I want them to remember their leaders and their friends. I want them to be inspired by the examples of people like Brother Rytting.

Enduring

2008-08-04T09:40:00.000-07:00

This is a talk I wrote a few weeks ago after being asked to speak in sacrament meeting. This is the best way for me to express how I'm feeling about the trial we are now experiencing.

I am grateful for the opportunity to speak this morning. As Leah said, we are fairly new to the ward and our introduction to many of you was not exactly what we had hoped. But, if there is one thing we’ve learned over the last few months, it’s that the Lord has a timeline that is all His own. He wanted us here in the Las Vegas area to experience these particular trials. The timing of it really can only lead us to that conclusion. The spiritual experiences we have had throughout this process have borne testimony to me that the Lord is with us and is guiding us. The test is not in the geography nor in the prognosis or even in the outcome. The test for us, as is the case for all tests in this life, is how we handle the adversity and whether or not we truly choose to endure to the end.

For a long time, I considered the hymn Come, Come Ye Saints strictly a pioneer song – dedicated to and for those faithful saints that crossed the plains so long ago. Growing up in the Midwest, we would visit the landmarks in Far West and Liberty, Nauvoo and Winter Quarters. And I’d sing that hymn and consider myself blessed to be associated with those people and frankly even more blessed to not have had to experience that particular trial myself! But recently, my thoughts about that hymn have changed. It’s true, it is initially about the journey from Nauvoo to the Salt Lake Valley. But it’s also about my own journey.

Come, come ye Saints, no toil nor labor fear,
But with joy, wend your way.
Though hard to you this journey may appear,
Grace shall be as your day.

The trials are in front of each of us and they are different for each of us. For me, right now, the trial is dealing with cancer treatment and a new job in a new place. For someone else, it may be dealing with shyness or loneliness or loss. But the trials come to all. Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin related the following story. “A few weeks before President Heber J. Grant passed away, one of the Brethren went to visit him in his home. Before the man left, President Grant prayed, ‘O God, bless me that I shall not lose my testimony and keep faithful to the end!’ Can you imagine President Grant, one of the great prophets of the Restoration, the President of the Church for nearly 27 years, praying that he would keep faithful to the end?”

One of the “trials” I am experiencing right now, seems so silly when I say it out loud. One of the side-effects of my chemotherapy is that, during the treatment and for a few days afterward, I can’t have anything cold to eat or drink. Extreme cold can literally burn the inside of my mouth and throat. Now, as Leah can tell you, one of my favorite things – especially when it’s hot like it is now – is a glass of cold, ice-water. I prefer ice-water to pop. I love to fill a cup with ice and poor water over it and keep re-filling it as the ice melts. It is truly delicious to me. But, while going through the chemotherapy, I can’t do this. It seems so small, yet it really is difficult for me. So, I drink my room-temperature water and hope for the day when the effect wears off and I can drink my ice-water again.

No matter what our trial, when in the midst of it, it feels so powerful and so oppressive. There is a reason for this. It is what Satan, the author of all lies, would have us feel. He feeds us with a steady appetite of discouragement, doubt and despair. His greatest joy is if we choose to give up, to throw our hands up and declare that it’s all too much. We see that all around us – friends and loved ones who have crumbled under the burden instead of casting it on the Lord.

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland said, “[Discouragement] can become almost a habit, a way of living and thinking, and there the greatest damage is done. Then it takes an increasingly severe toll on our spirit, for it erodes the deepest religious commitments we can make – those of faith, hope and charity. We turn inward and look downward, and those greatest of Christ-like virtues are damaged or at least impaired. We become unhappy and soon make others unhappy, and before long Lucifer laughs.” What an awful image – the laughing Lucifer. And yet, so often we are willing to allow this seed of discouragement into our lives.

The challenges we are required to endure can come from many sources, both inward and outward. We know that some of these trails we bring on ourselves. The consequences of sin and transgression can be difficult to bear. The counsel is clear when we slip along the path – get up, repent and come back. Though repentance may seem, and in fact may be a difficult process, the resulting freedom and relief through the atonement of Christ make it the greatest of God’s gifts. Returning again to Elder Holland’s teachings, “Repentance is not a foreboding word. It is, after faith, the most encouraging word in the Christian vocabulary. Repentance is simply the scriptural invitation for growth and improvement and progress and renewal. You can change! You can be anything you want to be in righteousness.”

Each of us has our weaknesses and the Plan of Salvation is built on the foundation that only one would live a perfect life. However, the only way to make the Plan work in our lives is to use it. Though it may seem painful and even scary, as we humble ourselves to the Lord, subject ourselves to His justice and mercy and then endure to the end, we will be blessed. Just like the people of King Benjamin after their repentance, we will be “filled with joy, having received a remission of [our] sins, and having peace of conscience, because of the exceeding faith [we have] in Jesus Christ.” (Mosiah 4:3.) The challenge of sin is to become like the Father of King Lamoni, who vowed to “give away all [his] sins” to know the true God. Are we willing to do the same?

Now, at other times, our trials aren’t of our own choosing or doing. These kinds of trials come to all of us. This life is a test and overcoming those things that come in the normal course of life is part of passing the test. Elder Holland wrote, “Some disappointments come regardless of our effort and preparation, for God wishes us to be strong as well as good.” These kinds of trials are all around us even today – the loss of a job that makes us feel unable to contribute, the inability to bear children that brings feelings of loneliness and despair, an untimely illness that saps us of our strength and threatens depression. No matter what the trial, the challenge is for us to endure. And, no matter how serious or painful or daunting the trial, the promise is that we CAN endure and come out on the other side.

So, how do we do it? How do we overcome and push forward? The hymn declares, “gird up your loins, fresh courage take.” What does it mean to gird up your loins? To me, it means get up and be active. There were times after my surgery, and really still are as I deal with the chemotherapy, that I just want to lie in bed. In fact, I remember thinking shortly after leaving the hospital that it would be easier to be back in the hospital because, besides a couple of trips up and down the hall each day, all that was really expected of me was to sleep and get my blood pressure taken every hour. But it is impossible to passively endure. Endurance requires activity. There are moments when I need to get up and do – whether figuratively by putting in a full days work when working from home, or literally by getting outside, playing with my kids, going out with my wife. We need to be able to spiritually stand with the Lord so that we can lean on Him for support.

And how about that fresh courage? It takes courage to endure, but our courage can be magnified through the Lord. David taught his son Solomon, “Be strong and of good courage, and do it: fear not, nor be dismayed: for the Lord God, even my God, will be with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee, until thou hast finished all the work for the service of the house of the Lord” (1 Chronicles 28:20). Faced with battle for the first time, Helaman’s strippling warriors were “exceedingly valiant for courage, and also for strength and activity; but behold, this was not all—they were men who were true at all times in whatsoever thing they were entrusted” (Alma 53:20). The prophet Joseph Smith wrote to the Saints in 1842, “Go forward and not backward. Courage, brethren; and on, on to the victory! Let your hearts rejoice, and be exceedingly glad” (D&C 128:22). It takes courage to endure, but the victory awaits.

Elder Wirthlin described the attributes of those who endure when he said, “Enduring to the end means that we have planted our lives firmly on gospel soil, staying in the mainstream of the Church, humbly serving our fellow men, living Christlike lives, and keeping our covenants. Those who endure are balanced, consistent, humble, constantly improving, and without guile. Their testimony is not based on worldly reasons—it is based on truth, knowledge, experience, and the Spirit.” So, how do we develop these attributes in the middle of the storm? Hopefully, by preparing ourselves before the storm begins. Have we planted our lives firmly on gospel soil? Are we staying in the mainstream of the Church? Are we humbly serving our fellowmen, living Christlike lives and keeping our covenants? Are we balanced, consistent, humble, constantly improving and without guile? Is our testimony based on worldly reasons or is it based on truth, knowledge, experience and the Spirit? This is the litmus test of our ability to endure. Because we know the trials will come.

Elder Holland taught five things to remember when the storm rages: “First, Pray earnestly and fast with purpose and devotion. Second, Immerse yourself in the scriptures. Third, Serve others. Fourth, Be patient. And, fifth, Have faith.” No matter where we are in the midst of our trials, these attributes can bring us the peace and strength that we need to endure.

Fasting and prayer go together. They are vital to us. Elder Wirthlin said, “Fasting, coupled with mighty prayer, is powerful. It can fill our minds with the revelations of the Spirit. It can strengthen us against times of temptation.” Our fasting and prayer should have a purpose. Be direct in your prayers. In reverence, speak to the Lord as you speak to a loving father or friend. Share with him your fears and also your desires. Ask for the blessings you seek, having faith that you will receive them. And always trusting that His will be done, for that is always best.

Scripture study can build our faith in times of trial. In the scriptures, we find specific stories and examples preserved for our time. We can find those experiencing the trials that we feel and declaring to the Lord the same things we are thinking and desiring. The scriptures truly are for our profit and learning. The lessons in the scriptures provide for us a roadmap to accomplish the tasks set before us. President Hinckley promised that as we read the scriptures our minds would be opened to them. While speaking to the Young Women shortly after his call as prophet, he said, “I promise you that as you read, your minds will be enlightened and your spirits will be lifted. At first it may seem tedious, but that will change into a wondrous experience with thoughts and words of things divine.” When enduring the challenges of life, what can be more rewarding than an enlightened mind and a lifted spirit?

Next, we must continue to serve in whatever capacity we are able. Service is the perfect remedy for self-pity. Charitable service forces us to take the focus off of ourselves and our own suffering. Instead, we seek after others and find ways to ease their burdens. In so doing, we find that our own burdens become light. I love the story of President Hinckley shortly after arriving in England for his mission. Feeling discouraged and unable to accomplish the task, he wrote home to his father, wondering if he ought to come home. The simple reply is something I’ve tried to remember in my life when I’m ready to give up – “Gordon, I have your letter. . . . I have only one suggestion: Forget yourself and go to work.” We, too, in the midst of the trial must forget ourselves and go to work. President Hunter taught that through charity, we can experience “the highest pinnacle the human soul can reach and the deepest expression of the human heart.”

Next, we must be patient. Patience is not easy to learn. I think I’ve spent much of my life trying to learn patience. I’m still trying. Patience requires that I allow myself to live on the Lord’s clock, instead of my own. Patience requires that I listen for the Lord’s answer instead of demanding the one I want to hear. Patience requires that I stop being obsessed with myself and turn my thoughts and actions where the Lord would have me go. President Monson said of patience in times of trial, “Life is full of difficulties, some minor and others of a more serious nature. There seems to be an unending supply of challenges for one and all. Our problem is that we often expect instantaneous solutions to such challenges, forgetting that frequently the heavenly virtue of patience is required. . . . If the only perfect man who ever lived—even Jesus of Nazareth—was called upon to endure great suffering, how can we, who are less than perfect, expect to be free of such challenges?” Part of patience is knowing, and I mean really believing, that the trial will some day come to an end. Elder Holland said, “Some tasks take time. Accept that. But as the scripture says, ‘They come to pass.’ They do end. We will cross over Jordan eventually. Others have done it – and so can we.” It takes patience to endure the trial and faith to wait for the end.

Faith is the final step in overcoming the challenge and enduring to the end. Faith allows us to trust in a God who is real, a Father in Heaven who loves us and is willing to stand by us, an elder Brother, even Jesus Christ, who has walked the path before us and made it possible for us to be with Him again. Without faith, none of these things seem real to us. We get lost in our own weaknesses – knowing that we cannot do it ourselves, but not seeing a way to survive the darkness. Faith prompts us to believe in Jesus Christ and Christ is the Light that allows us to see our way through. As Alma taught, faith is the seed that when we nourish and grow, will lead us to Eternal Life. Elder Dallin H. Oaks said, “Some of us, sometime, will face some earthly power as mighty as Goliath. When that happens, we should emulate the courage of David, who was mighty because he had faith and he went forth in a righteous cause in the name of the Lord of Hosts.” Each of us can face our challenges with faith in God and Christ.

Now, as I close, I’d like to include one final thought from Elder Holland. This one has a special place in my heart. It came in a conference session about a year after Leah and I were married. We were facing at that time, a different set of challenges – living far away from family, struggling in a job that wasn’t paying enough to make ends meet. I was doubting my abilities as a husband and a provider and trying to determine how to survive and what to do. Sitting in a chapel in West Texas, we listened to the following account:

Thirty years ago last month, a little family set out to cross the United States to attend graduate school--no money, an old car, every earthly possession they owned packed into less than half the space of the smallest U-Haul trailer available. Bidding their apprehensive parents farewell, they drove exactly 34 miles up the highway, at which point their beleaguered car erupted.

Pulling off the freeway onto a frontage road, the young father surveyed the steam, matched it with his own, then left his trusting wife and two innocent children--the youngest just three months old--to wait in the car while he walked the three miles or so to the southern Utah metropolis of Kanarraville, population then, I suppose, 65. Some water was secured at the edge of town, and a very kind citizen offered a drive back to the stranded family. The car was attended to and slowly--very slowly--driven back to St. George for inspection--U-Haul trailer and all.

After more than two hours of checking and rechecking, no immediate problem could be detected, so once again the journey was begun. In exactly the same amount of elapsed time at exactly the same location on that highway with exactly the same pyrotechnics from under the hood, the car exploded again. It could not have been 15 feet from the earlier collapse, probably not 5 feet from it! Obviously the most precise laws of automotive physics were at work.

Now feeling more foolish than angry, the chagrined young father once more left his trusting loved ones and started the long walk for help once again. This time the man providing the water said, "Either you or that fellow who looks just like you ought to get a new radiator for that car." For the second time a kind neighbor offered a lift back to the same automobile and its anxious little occupants. He didn't know whether to laugh or to cry at the plight of this young family.

"How far have you come?" he said. "Thirty-four miles," I answered. "How much farther do you have to go?" "Twenty-six hundred miles," I said. "Well, you might make that trip, and your wife and those two little kiddies might make that trip, but none of you are going to make it in that car." He proved to be prophetic on all counts.

Just two weeks ago this weekend, I drove by that exact spot where the freeway turnoff leads to a frontage road, just three miles or so west of Kanarraville, Utah. That same beautiful and loyal wife, my dearest friend and greatest supporter for all these years, was curled up asleep in the seat beside me. The two children in the story, and the little brother who later joined them, have long since grown up and served missions, married perfectly, and are now raising children of their own. The automobile we were driving this time was modest but very pleasant and very safe. In fact, except for me and my lovely Pat situated so peacefully at my side, nothing of that moment two weeks ago was even remotely like the distressing circumstances of three decades earlier.
Yet in my mind's eye, for just an instant, I thought perhaps I saw on that side road an old car with a devoted young wife and two little children making the best of a bad situation there. Just ahead of them I imagined that I saw a young fellow walking toward Kanarraville, with plenty of distance still ahead of him. His shoulders seemed to be slumping a little, the weight of a young father's fear evident in his pace. In the scriptural phrase his hands did seem to "hang down." In that imaginary instant, I couldn't help calling out to him: "Don't give up, boy. Don't you quit. You keep walking. You keep trying. There is help and happiness ahead--a lot of it--30 years of it now, and still counting. You keep your chin up. It will be all right in the end. Trust God and believe in good things to come."

Then, Elder Holland closed with the following words, “Some blessings come soon, some come late, and some don't come until heaven; but for those who embrace the gospel of Jesus Christ, they come.” I add my testimony to his. As we face our challenges, as we work through them and as we endure to the end, the blessings will come. And at that time, we’ll be able to stand with the saints and

Make the air with music ring,
Shout praises to our God and King.
Above the rest these words we’ll tell –
All is well! All is well!

Of this I bear testimony, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

5/12, 41.7% Complete

2008-08-01T15:39:00.000-07:00

Just one more treatment to the half-way mark! Yeah! Here's what I've really felt during this fifth treatment - zzzzzzzzzzzz! I could sleep at the drop of a hat. I am absolutely exhausted. I had a touch of the flu last week and I'm wondering if that's why I'm so worn out this time around - my red blood cell count never got all the way back to where it needed to be. But, I've been able to rest this afternoon and I don't have any big plans for Saturday - no, I won't be building bunk beds again this weekend.

I saw the doctor before the treatment started on Wednesday, this week. I don't see him every week - sometimes I see the physician's assistant. But, we wanted to check in with the main doc this time and he feels like things are going very well. I've been able to keep my weight up and the biggest side-effects have been nausea, exhaustion and cold sensitivity - all normal things. My blood work (besides the issues with the clotting) has been good. Getting the clotting issues fixed has been a bit of a nightmare. I'm on medicine for it, but the chemo makes the medicine go a bit crazy, so they take me off the medicine during the chemo, then back on when the chemo is done. Hopefully we can find a happy medium and I won't have to worry about going in so often to get my blood checked. But, everything else is going as smoothly as can be expected.

I'm still at that point where I'm totally exhausted this week. Usually by Sunday morning, I'm back in good shape. Saturday is the day I look forward to least. I'm usually pretty sick on Saturdays. But, all in all, my body seems to be handling the chemo well. Just seven more to go!

Pine Tar - 25 Years Later

2008-07-25T09:29:00.000-07:00

July 24th, 1983. The infamous Pine Tar Incident in Yankee Stadium. A game, that, for a nine-year old boy, solidified Billy Martin as the most hated man in all of sports. We've all seen the video, it's definately a classic - it's owned by MLB, so I can olnly link to it here.

Yesterday was the 25th anniversary of the game and the George Brett Bull-rush out of the dugout, so it's gotten a lot of play around the country - and rightfully so. It is a part of baseball histroy. The Pine Tar bat, as well as George Brett and the pitcher who threw the ball - Goose Gossage - are all in the Hall of Fame. The bat made it because of this game, the players for their amazing careers.

As I've read the different stories from the players in the game, there are several things that stand out to me. One, Greg Nettles is apparently the one that went to the umpires and said there was too much pine tar on the bat. I couldn't stand Greg Nettles as a kid. He was such a . . . Yankee. And that was the worst thing you could be to a boy in Eastern Kansas during the summers of the late 70s and early 80s.

Second, I love the fact that Gaylord Perry tried to hide the bat. One of the greatest cheaters in baseball history - always looking for the edge.

Third, Tim Kurkjian wrote an article for ESPN the Magazine where Brett talks about the game. In the interview, Brett says, "I played 20 years in the major leagues, I did some good things, and the one at-bat I'm remembered for is an at-bat in July, not an at-bat in October like Reggie Jackson. Only in New York. It would have never been that big a deal if it had happened in Cleveland." I hope that's just hyperbole from Brett. He's the greatest baseball player Kansas City has ever known. Yes, the Pine Tar incident gets a lot of play, but I'll never forget the home run to finally get to the Series in 1980 or the series against the Cardinals to win it all in '85. He's a KC legend and should always have a place with the club.

Finally, watching that video always makes me feel nostalgic to root for a baseball team that mattered on the national stage. This was before ESPN and SportsCenter turned Yankees-Red Sox into the new cold war. This was before nine-digit player contracts and rampant free-agency made it impossible to root for a player that stayed with your team for his entire career. The Royals were relevant back then. They fielded a team of Kansas City Legends - Brett at 3rd, Frank White at 2nd, Willie Wilson in Center, Dennis Leonard on the mound.

They were always in the mix with the Yankees for the American League pennant. As a seven-year old franchise in 1976, the Royals won their division, only to fall to the Yankees in the ALCS when Chris Chambliss hit a pennant winning home run in the bottom of the 9th at Yankee Stadium. In 1977, the Royals won 102 games and the Western Division, again facing the Yankees for the right to go to the World Series and again lost the deciding fifth game in Yankee Stadium. In 1978, for the third year in a row, the Royals won the West and faced the Yankees in the ALCS. This time, after losing a heartbreaking game three, the Royals fell in four games and again wound up runners-up. Finally, in 1980, the Royals broke through. They won the division and this time got the best of the Yankees as Brett, who nearly hit .400 in the regular season, hit a monster homer off Gossage to send the Royals to their first World Series. Although they fell to Tug McGraw's Phillies that year, they returned in 1985 and finally won it all.

That was really the peak of the mountain. There have been highlights since - Brett's Hall of Fame induction in 1999, the rise of Bret Saberhagen and Bo Jackson, Carols Beltran and Mike Sweeney. But the lowlights were even worse - the death of Dick Houser; the passing of the Kauffman's and the uncertainty of ownership; the plight of small-market baseball trying to compete without a salary cap; the Glass family's unwillingness to spend some of that Wal-Mart fortune. Now, we focus on getting above .500, finishing better than last in the division, collecting bobble-heads of Royals' Hall of Famers. These are our victories. These are our championships.

So, when I look back at the Pine Tar game, the joy over a Joakim Soria save or a Billy Butler blast feels a bit hollow. How long will they stay? Not forever. Not like Brett and White and Leonard. But, it still makes me smile when I see Brett, charging out of the dugout, ready to rip into Tim McLelland. That's Royals' baseball.

4/12 = 1/3, 33.3% Complete

2008-07-18T13:11:00.001-07:00

I' ve made it to the one third mark! Hoorah! The best part of getting the pump taken off today was that I got to come home to my family. Leah and the kids had been in Utah for nearly two weeks and they got home just before I went in to get the pump removed. I was so excited to see them and I'm so happy to have them back. It was pretty dull around here while they were gone.

As for the chemo, it went pretty well again. I'm still having trouble getting my blood where it needs to be. The chemo and the coumadin combined are making my blood too thin. Trying to get those levels right has been a real challenge. I'm continuing to stay off the coumadin for a few days and then they'll recheck my blood on Monday. That's pretty annoying.

I got Zofran for the nauseau this time, which I'm going to start taking tonight so I can try and head things off before they get started. The cold sensitivity in my fingers and mouth are still annoying, but they should start getting better now that I'm off the pump. That means I've got a week of feeling good in front of me. Yeah! The focus for this round? Stay positive. Things aren't so bad - nothing that turning in a bit early in the evening can't fix.

Planning Ahead

2008-07-16T20:07:00.000-07:00

Okay, so with chemo treatment number four underway, one of the things that really helps me is to think of things I'll be able to do down the line that I would really like to do. It's more than just day dreaming. It's remembering that 1) the chemo will come to an end; and 2) when it's over, my quality of life should be significantly improved from when all this began last year or even 16 years ago when I was originally diagnosed. Now, let's have a little participation for this one. You see, some of the things that I'd like to do are very simple - take the family camping, go to an amusement park without mapping out every bathroom, go on a hike, etc. Although I really look forward to those things, this list is going a bit grander. Here are five things I'd like to do in the next 50 years. After you read mine, make a comment and add some that you'd like to do. The rules are simple. They have to be relatively feasible. If you say you want to walk on Mars, give your rationale as to how that will be a possibility. Have you joined the space program? Are you now a multi-billionaire and are building your own space shuttle with Lance Bass? So, here are some of mine and I look forward to hearing yours!

1) Take my family to the Home Run Derby. At some point, the All-Star game will come back to Southern California or Arizona. How fun would it be to sit in the outfield bleachers at some ball park and watch the homers fly?! I know I would love that!

2) Buy a house with a pool. I used to think this was just a waste of money - and in Kansas it would be. But here in Las Vegas, I'm starting to think the benefits outweigh the costs of having to maintain it. The kids would love it and there are some days when that is really all you can do! When it hits 120 degrees, an hour in the pool would be just right!

3) Read the biographies of all the prophets of the Church and the presidents of the United States. I did some research on this recently and it is much easier to find biographies on past presidents than on past prophets. There are some out there, but almost all are written while the prophet is still alive. I want the complete picture of their life, not just their life up to their call as prophet. Jimmy Carter is proof that much can happen as time goes on.

4) Take my family to Hawaii. Leah would like to do Christmas in Hawaii one year. How fun would that be! Of course, it will have to be when the kids are a bit older and aren't completely focused on the toys they receive, because, let's face it. If we go to Hawaii, that's the gift from us, if you know what I mean!

5) Take Leah to New York City. I loved New York when I lived there for six weeks in 1998. It was so fun - and that's when I was still sick. Think about how much more fun we could have today?! There is so much to do and see and I think Leah would love it.

Okay, so there's five of mine. I'm not saying that's the exhaustive list and, like I said before, this isn't a list of what you'd do if you won $1 Billion (David Glass would be getting a call from me, let me tell you!). Let's hear what you've got?!

3/12 = 1/4, 25% Complete

2008-07-03T20:57:00.000-07:00

I've made it to the quarter mark! Yeah! I got started a day early this week, since the cancer center isn't open on the 4th of July. Hey, I don't mind because that means I finished a day early, as well. Treatment number three has left me pretty darn tired. I'm getting the tingling in my hands, feet and lower legs, too. That's a strange feeling - like you're extremeties are slightly asleep. The worst is still the cold sensitivity - it's spread to my fingers, now, too. I have to use a glove to get things out of the fridge. The side effects last for a few days after the treatment, so hopefully things will get better soon.

Other than that, I'm doing okay. I really wanted to be in Kansas this week with my family, but that will have to wait. Just nine more treatments to go - that's single digits!

Nearly Reunited, But I Don't Feel So Good!

2008-07-02T20:43:00.000-07:00

I miss my parents and my brothers and sisters. This weekend was suppossed to be our big family reunion - we haven't all been together in ages. Many, if not all, of my siblings are there in Kansas right now, or will be in the next day or so. We are not. Instead, I am taking a chemo treatment for another 18 hours or so and generally feeling pretty low. So, as a way of making myself feel better, I'm going to say what I love about each of their families. I'll add pictures where I can.

Beth and Tim:

These two are a riot. I would love to be able to go visit them in Houston - if it weren't for the fact that we used to live in Texas and I think I'd have to drug Leah on sedatives to get her back across the border. I love that Beth and Tim are rabid Jayhawk fans and that Beth used to sneak into KU basketball games under a borrowed student ID that looked nothing like her. She did get caught once and had to leave. Tim went to the game anyway because it was on ESPN and Dick Vitale was there. Good times. Here's a picture I stole from Beth's blog:

Joel and Amelia:

This two are incredible. They live in Georgia, and we've not been to visit them either. Again, a trip we would really like to take, especially when I'm feeling better. Joel and Amelia have known each other for most of their lives. When they started dating, we all cheered. Then they went to college and missions and everything and still ended up together. What an awesome story. I love the fact that they love to watch movies and play video games and do fun things. They are both really fun to talk to and visit with. Plus, they are able to navigate the trecherous waters of both sets of parents living in the same city. That is a true accomplishment. Here's a picture of them of Joel and Amelia that I stole from Amelia's blog:

Jenni, Josh and Family:

We've lived near Jenni and Josh a couple of times, once even when they were in our ward. They are so fun. I know they are stressed right now with Parker and the twins. Believe me, we've been through that! They are so fun to be around. We used to love to have them over for games. Our favorite story is from a game of Outburst where Josh was basically just repeating everything Jenni said. Jennie got so frustrated, she made Josh go start the car. Good times. I hope to live near them again soon - if Leah would just win that $10 Million so we could buy the compound and have everyone move close by! I couldn't find a good picture of Jenni and Josh, so you'll have to settle for Parker, Wyatt and Brynly.

Wendy, Jeff and Family:

When Leah and I first moved to Kansas, Wendy and her family were living there. It was so fun to see them regularly before they moved off to Ohio. We miss them so much. Wendy is so strong and good and she has always been just what I needed in a big sister. I love Wendy's ability to tell stories and her love for her family. I loved watching Chiefs' games with Jeff and his love of the Jayhawks. I miss hanging out with Mason and Nick and Trenton - and Trenton beating me at basketball. We love the Stalcups. Here's a picture of Wendy from earlier this year.

Chris, Jordan and Family:

We're now living closer than we ever have to Chris and Jordan - just five hours up the road. That is really fun for us. Chris was so kind to come to Las Vegas when I was in the hospital. I can't imagine how bored he must have been, just sitting there as I drifted in and out of sleep. What a great brother. He stayed until Jordan got sick back in Provo, which is more than I could have asked. Their family is so fun. I loved watching the National Championship with Caleb, Quinn and Cami. Baby Zach is just a ball of fun. Here are Chris and Jordan from the luncheon after Grandma's funeral. Sorry, couldn't find pictures of the kids!

Mom and Dad:

What can I say about my parents. They have been so supportive of me over the last few months - from dramatic weight loss to blood transfusions to emergecy surgery and cancer - I think my relationship with them has grown and deepened so very much. They have helped me more than they can know. I really miss them and I wish we could be there with them this weekend - we had great plans for the Karpowitz family scavenger hunt! But, we'll have that reunion soon, I'm sure of it. Here is Dad from after the funeral and Mom when she came out to Las Vegas. I love you guys!

Now, before you think I've just been sitting around and feeling sorry for myself, you need to know that I have the greatest wife and kids in the world. They have been so great these past few months. The kids are so funny. They put up with forehead kisses and awkward hugs when the chemo is going on. They come to see me when I'm feeling low and they help me want to get up and out of bed. Leah is the best. You can't even imagine how hard she's worked these past few months. She is truly my best friend - the person I most wish to wake up next to, to talk to throughout the day, to fall asleep beside. She is really my best friend. Plus, after November, I'll get to do the things she's been asking me about for years - hiking and camping, having people over and going out. This experience has changed and is changing our lives, but I am so happy that it is changing us together. I love you all!

The Things You See in Vegas

2008-06-24T11:58:00.001-07:00

So, last night, we took the kids to The Flamingo to see the bird preserve - which is actually pretty nice and just the right price - free.

So, as we're leaving the parking garage, we drive by this seedy little "establishment of ill repute" that is truly "off the Strip." The sign on the building says "Groceries, Liquor, The Stage Door" with an arrow pointing to the door. That is some serious one-stop shopping.

Leah wouldn't let me take a picture.

2/12 = 1/6, 16.7% Complete

2008-06-20T15:14:00.000-07:00

Well, with two treatments down and ten to go, I felt like I was less apprehensive this time around. I had a better idea of what was going to happen, so I was more prepared for what did happen, if that makes sense. I seemed to be less sick, but more tired. Now, with a few days of recovery in front of me, I can also expect some nausea and continued exhaustion over the next few days, but I should be ready for work by Monday. At least, that's what I'm hoping for.

Let's see, the rest of the updates are pretty simple. First, the PET Scan results were very good. They showed some inflammation in my abdomen, but that is normal since I'm still recovering from the surgery. The scan can't tell the difference between that kind of inflammation and cancer, but even if there were more cancer in that area, the treatment would be chemotherapy. And since that's what we're doing anyway, the doctor wasn't too worried. I'll have another PET Scan at the end of the chemo and that should be more definitive.

We're still working on regulating my blood's clotting. That's from the clots I had in my lungs last month. We had it under control, but then I had to go on some different medications so they could put the port in my chest for the chemotherapy. One of the drugs was an injectible called Lovonox, which left me with bruises all over my stomach and thighs. These bruises were nasty - really purple and black - so bad I wouldn't even let Leah take pictures of them. Oh, the vanity! Well, my blood had been to thick, but now it's too thin, so I have stopped the injectible and they are trying to use the Coumaden to get it right. Coumaden, by they way, is the same thing they put in rat poison. Oh, the fun things you learn with health problems. Anyway, by blood is still on the thin side - no shaving with a blade - but it's better than it was. All it really means is that a couple of times a week I go back into the cancer center for them to test it. You want the PT/INR level to be between 2 and 3. Mine was below 2 when the clots started. It was 4.5 on Wednesday and 4.0 today. Once we get it back to the right level, I should be able to maintain it with medication throughout the chemo.

As for other side-effects, I haven't lost my hair, though we did cut it really short. See Leah's blog for before and after shots when she gets them posted. I still have the cold sensitivity in my mouth, which is a real pain. It was 115 degrees at 11 am today and I can't drink anything above room temperature. That's a bit inconvenient. Warm Gatorade and water all around! Other than that, I'm just really tired. I'm ready for the recovery process to pick up, but I probably won't start feeling a lot better until Sunday or so.

I've appreciated all the thoughts and prayers sent our way. It's been so nice to know that you are thinking of us. That helps a lot. I'm trying to focus on a more positive outlook - you know 10 treatments left is better than 12! Like all trials, this one also will "come to pass". More health updates as they become available. Now it's time for a nap!

Sorry Tiger, You've Been Karpowitz'ed

2008-06-18T16:28:00.001-07:00

I should feel bad. Really, I should. You see, this is my fault. If you want someone to blame, the someone is me. I can prove it. Check out the post titled "Just the Way It is" under this link: Just the Way It Is.

Did you see it? I jumped on the Tiger bandwagon and I believe it was the equivelant of covering the driver's eyes and barreling over the cliff. Season ending, career threatening knee reconstruction surgery! Are you kidding me? I become a Tiger fan and now his very career is in jeopardy? Really, I should just stop watching sports. (Forget it, Leah. Everytime I try to get out, they suck me back in!)

Really, I thought I was on my way to turning this thing around. I mean, first the mighty Jayhawks win the National Championship. Then the Chiefs nab Glenn Dorsey and the best draft class of 2008 (this could be deleted in 2112. It takes a long time to truly judge a draft class). The Royals even got in on the act by hiring Trey Hillman and having a really solid April. No, not a World Series. A solid April. We have to look at the little picture with KC sports!

But, it looks like the wheels are trying to come off. It starts with the Royals and all new levels of losing. I’d forgotten just how irrelevant the Royals are in the national picture. I have to scour the internet for highlights of games. I think the only time they appeared in the first 30 minutes of SportsCenter was when they got no-hit by the Red Sox earlier this year. Anyway, my favorite baseball team is trying to set a record for most ridiculous losses in the final three innings of a baseball game. Remember that bullpen that was supposed to be such a strength? Not so much.

Then, Mario Chalmers decided to stay in the NBA draft. Honestly, I guess I can’t fault him. It’s the right decision. He’s probably going to go in the First Round and guarantee himself several million dollars. Still, kind of crappy for the Defending National Champion Kansas Jayhawks. (yes, that’s their official name until at least next March, at which time it will either become the Two-time Defending National Champion Kansas Jayhawks or the 2008 National Champion Kansas Jayhawks. I prefer the first.) So, Mario is done and Sherron Collins is on trial for allegedly exposing himself and groping a woman. Thanks, buddy. So, despite the euphoria of winning it all, the reality of college basketball must go on. At least we’re not Indiana fans. Ouch.

Tiger was the final straw. And you see how the Hall of Fame, greatest player ever handled it? Yeah, he only won three majors with a ruptured ACL and the last one with a broken freakin’ leg! That’s amazing. Now, I know the Tiger camp is saying that he’ll be able to return at 100% in 2009 and I won’t ever count him out. But major joint reconstruction is a bit of a crap-shoot. Will he be strong enough to win four more and tie Jack Nicklaus? I hope so. Am I sure it will happen? Absolutely not. My suspicion is, if I go back to the Mickelson camp, Tiger will win 15 more majors and Phil will be in full manzier mode by the end of his career. But that’s just me.

So, Tiger, here’s to hoping you can get it back. I’ve decided to provide Tiger with a little motivation by showing him the greatest motivational moments in the greatest motivational sports movies of all time. These are motivation for specific situations. Use them as needed.

Motivational Moment Number 1: Getting Ready:

Here’s the situation. You’ve decided to retire, but out of no where, Ernie Els challenges your old friend, Mark O’Meara to an exhibition match. Els beats an old and past his prime O’Meara so badly that O’Meara falls into a sandtrap on the 1st Green and dies. Of course, you immediately challenge Els to a match on “his turf”. Strangely enough, Els does not choose his native South Africa, but instead has you come to Communist Russia at the height of the Cold War. We are not sure how he accomplished this, so just go with it. You accept, but you will need to train “old school” to survive this match. Press play now.

Motivational Moment Number 2: The Bully:

Let’s say you come back in 2009, but all the surgery recovery has left you the shell of your former self – seriously, you’re down to like 98 pounds. And, the cool guys on the tour – the Kobra Kai of Wingfoot: Mike Weir, Justin Leonard, Vijay Singh and Phil Mickelson as Johnny– have started pushing you around and kicking sand in your face. What do you do? Well, you sign your former swing coach Butch Harmon who teaches you how to build muscle and perfect your swing by remodeling his house. Then, you enter the All Valley Golf Tournament and kick some Kobra Kai butt! Press play now.

Motivational Moment Number 3: The Comeback Delayed

Okay, now you’re back on the tour, but getting no respect. Because of the incredibly unwise decision to stay at Barbara Hershey’s hotel on the way to Chicago, you’re comeback took about 15 years longer than you expected. But, you finally get back in and are really knocking the cover off the ball. Then, just before the 2023 Masters, you find out that the knee is not going to make it. You have to retire or risk permanent damage. This is it, the 18th hole of the final round. You need to be perfect to save Pop and the team from the Judge. Press play now:

Motivational Moment Number 4: Heart

Now, if that wasn’t enough and your heart just isn’t in it, remember that there are thousands of us out here who would love to do what you can do. We’d give it all – even spend a year getting our butts kicked on the Nike Tour just to have a chance for one round at the US Open, one at bat for our favorite team, one sack for our favorite college football team! And if you can watch these without getting a little misty, you’re a better man than me. Press play now:

And now:

And now:

And both of these:

Now, get out there and play! I’m still on your side! I don’t know if that’s a good thing or not, but I’m not giving up!

One final health thought: I started chemo 2 of 12 today. Doing well, so far. A bit tired. I’ll post on Friday after I get the pump off.

Practice Makes Perfect

2008-06-10T22:20:00.003-07:00

Make a Smilebox slideshow

With Kate's baptism coming up, I'm looking at different websites and programs for slideshow ideas. I didn't love this one, but it's fun to play with the pictures. If you know of a good one, pass it on!

1/12 of the Way - 8.3% Complete

2008-06-06T15:28:00.002-07:00

Okay, I've completed the first round of chemotherapy and I can honestly say. . . pretty crappy! I went in on Wednesday and got hooked up to the chemo machine. Good times - six hours in the doctor's office. When I finished there, I got hooked up to the chemo pump and got to wear that for the next 46 hours. I can tell you, it pretty much sucked the energy out of me. One weird side-effect - cold drinks burn my mouth. I'm hoping that goes away while I'm not actually on the chemo. Anyway, I went in today and got the pump removed and they gave me a shot to build my white blood cell count. Probable side-effect - achenes. Another fun one!

On the whole, I'm looking forward to spending the next 11 days getting my strength back before I go back in. I had some nausea with the first round, but apparently things were a lot more mild than they could have been. I'm not sure if that makes me happy or sad!

I've been feeling a bit sorry for myself today. I need to snap out of that. Things are going fine and, once the chemo is over, I should be able to get back to normal. That will be awesome.

Other things are going well. The kids are out of school for the summer. Leah is working hard to keep them busy. She's trying something new with their chores. She writes the chore lists for them at night and they can see them first thing in the morning. The rule is, once your chores are done, the day is yours. Kate and Emma have gotten right up each day and gotten things done. Ryne was a bit slower to motivate today, but he'll get it.

Other than that, things are pretty quiet around here. Leah has been awesome. She is so much stronger than me. She is truly a blessing in my life. I'll try to make the next post a little more exciting - maybe some NBA finals fun or a little baseball. For now, I'm just happy to have the first treatment over with. Good times!

It's a Deal

2008-06-02T20:21:00.003-07:00

So, I was sitting outside with Ryne on Sunday and I asked him what I could do to be a better Dad. His answer? "You could be healthier." Man, that made me want to get healthy just about more than anything. I sure do love my kids.

Undacovah Brothah

2008-05-30T08:46:00.002-07:00

Okay, my wife keeps making little comments about my lack of a recent post, so I guess I better get back on the ball!

Shameless Plug

I am really lucky. I have my very own Personal Media Advisor. Most people don't have one of those, but I do. In fact, I think he might actually be a superhero - Mild-Manored English Teacher by day - Investigator of all things Media related by. . . well, day and night, I suppose. He's first in line for the movie premier. He reads books first so I don't have to. He watches live TV, TiVo's TV he can't watch live and buys seasons of shows that he really likes. And, yes, he's my brother. He's awesome. He's really good at this stuff. He is teaching English in Georgia and is an aspiring novelist. And he knows his stuff. Ask about some obscure author and he can give you five reasons why he didn't like his last book. Unsure about the new Indiana Jones, Joel says, "Wait for video!" Need some quality television to watch while recovering from major surgery? Have no fear - there is an answer!

So, while in the hospital the first time around, we got a package from Georgia - Season 1 of Friday Night Lights. It came with the strong recommendation from Joel that we would really enjoy it. Now, Joel has hit several home runs for us in the TV series on DVD genre - he turned us on to both Arrested Development and Veronica Mars - two must sees. And now Joel is 3 for 3. Friday Night Lights is awesome. I have just the season finale to watch, but I am definitely looking for Season 2! It's not too much football, but enough for those of us that enjoy football. The characters are really compelling and the story lines - struggling to survive in this football obsessed Texas town - are really strong. The best character on the show besides the coaches wife is Landry - who disappears a bit in the middle of the season. The episode where he reads of Mice and Men to Tim Riggins is just hilarious. I haven't quite convinced Leah of the greatness of the show - I watched most of it while lying in a hospital bed. But, due to our 2.5 years living in the town after which the book was written and the show is patterned, watching the exterior shots makes Leah a bit sick to her stomach. So, maybe down the line she'll take a shot at it. But, if you're looking for something really interesting, it's got my vote.

In preparation for my upcoming Chemo exhaustion, I purchased several movies, as well as Season 2 of Arrested Development and Season 3 of Veronica Mars and The Office. Joel's latest recommendation? Lost. I've never gotten into it on regular TV, but my Personal Media Advisor says it is great, so I just may have to give it a shot.

Health Update

We are getting closer to the start of chemo. Despite some confusion about when I need to stop taking my blood thinners so I can get the Portacath put in, I have been going through the preparatory steps for the Chemo. I had two CT scans a couple of weeks ago - one on my chest that showed some lingering pneumonia and one on my brain that was normal. My regular doctor switched me to a blood thinner that I have to inject into my abdomen. That stinks, but I should only have to take it for a month. We thought it was to get ready to put the port in that the oncologist will use to deliver the chemotherapy, but the surgeon's office said I shouldn't be on any blood thinners, so we're a bit confused on that front. The injections are really painful for about 15 minutes and they make my abdomen really sore in the evenings. But, I haven't been getting the headaches I got with the other stuff. The injectable costs about $4K for a months worth ($50 co-pay - Yeah for insurance!). We had to get special approval from the insurance to cover it once. Later today, I got in for the PET Scan to make sure I am essentially tumor free - we'll never be able to tell if the cancer leaked out of the tumor in my belly or not. Next week, I get the port put in and then start the Chemo.

It's all happening very quickly. I'm ready for the chemo to start simply because I want to know how it's going to affect me and, once it's started, it will be over in six months. I will probably lose some hair and have some sensitivity to cold, but the biggest side affect will be exhaustion. I'll go in every two weeks on a Wednesday and be in the office for 3-4 hours while I take the medicine. Then, I'll have a bag that I'll wear for the rest of the day on Wednesday and all day Thursday. The bag will come off on Friday morning and the oncologist thought the exhaustion would last another 4-5 days. Then a week off to get my system back up and start it again. I'll have twelve treatments, so I should be finishing up around Thanksgiving. I'm nervous, but ready. That's the best way I can describe it. Six months from now, I should be completely cancer free. I can't wait.

One More Thing

Leah wrote a great post the other day letting people know that we haven't just been sitting around in hospitals and doctor's offices these past weeks. Check it out. Here's the link:

http://midwestkarpowitz.blogspot.com/

This, Too, Shall Pass

2008-05-14T15:45:00.002-07:00

Remember how I was saying I need a new mattress? Well, that's still the case, but that's not what was causing my severe back pain. Turns out, I had blood clots in my lungs! Last Wednesday, the pain was getting worse and worse. I got home from work and couldn't catch my breath. The pain started to move to the front and just kept getting worse. We called my Home Health Nurse and she suggested we go to the ER just in case. So we did. After a CT Scan, they found the clots and put me on blood thinners. And so I spent the next week in the hospital! This time was even more boring than the first, after the incredible pain started to back off. Though the pain continued to recur, the severity was never as bad as that first night. Mostly, I just had to sit in my hospital bed and wait for my blood to thin. The down side of all that sitting is that I developed some fluid on my lungs. That is also causing some pain. They decided not to drain it, but to see if it would clear up on its own. That's because they would have to take me off the blood thinners to drain it, then drain the fluid, then get back on the blood thinners and get my blood regulated. That would be another week in the hospital. I voted against that and the lung doctor agreed for now. However, if they don't clear up on their own, I may have to go back in and have them drained. Fun stuff!

So, that's been my week. I'll be working from home this week and probably next, since that's when I have my first visit with my oncologist. That visit will set my chemo schedule.

On a more serious note, today Leah's sister, Gretchen, suffered a brain aneurysm while walking with her youngest daughter. They found it early and it's on the surface. She is in surgery this evening. Please keep Gretchen and her family in your thoughts and prayers.

Back to Work

2008-05-07T13:06:00.002-07:00

Well, I've been back at work for two days now. Let's just say, at the end of the day, I'm bushed! I can't believe how hard it is to do something I've done a thousand times before. It's really strange. But, I'm happy to be back and working. I really enjoy my job and I'm glad to be contributing.

Here's where we stand right now - nothing really has changed. I've met with my in-home nurses three times. Everything seems to be going well. Dr. Abey removed the staples last week and the incision, though sore at my belt line, is healing well. The muscles underneath feel pretty tired and my back has been pretty sore from having to sleep on it for so long, I think. Leah and I really need a new mattress, so that may be on the docket for this weekend.

Other than that, I seem to be doing okay. I've heard from so many friends and loved ones. That has been really nice. The thoughts and prayers of everyone are definitely felt and heard. I can't thank you each enough for that.

Going forward, I'm meeting with the oncologist in about two weeks and should know the chemo schedule at that time. I'm a bit apprehensive, but also ready to get it going so I can get it finished. Does that make sense?

The big news this week is that we sold the house in Edgerton - well, it closes later this month, but we are really excited. I can't believe it finally sold. We had no offers for so long, then got two on the same day. It's really a blessing to get it sold. We really miss our friends from the Ottawa Ward. That's for sure. It's funny. The ward here has been great. They have been so supportive. As we make friends, it will be even better. But we certainly miss the familiarity of the Ottawa Ward. That makes such a difference in a ward. It really can feel like family. We are excited to get to that point here, as well.

So, that's about it. Not much more to say this time. Next post better be sports related or my image is going to be ruined.

Incredible Week

2008-04-27T15:21:00.002-07:00

Well, it has been a very strange and interesting last two weeks. Really, one of the strangest, scariest and most blessed of my entire life. Let me do this Soap Opera style -

Previously, on Matt's life. . .

Okay, so two weeks ago, we were in Utah at my Grandma's funeral. We left the Beehive state on Tuesday and arrived in sunny Las Vegas later that day. I wasn't feeling great that day and Leah made the entire drive herself. She said she wanted to see if she could do it, but I suspect she didn't trust me behind the wheel at the time. I was totally exhausted from packing the car. I mean, I could barely get the suitcases into the car and was simply "dead on my feet". I don't have any idea how I got the cartop carrier on and filled. I would move a bag up, then sit down in the car and rest for five minutes. It was ridiculous. But, we made it to Henderson, signed the papers for our house and settled down campout style that night.

The new VP of sales was coming in on Wednesday night and my boss wanted to make sure we had everything ready. However, the movers were coming on Wednesday morning and I had to be there to sign for everything. I finally got into work on Wednesday afternoon and got things ready for the next few days, caught up on emails, etc. Again, I got home and was just exhausted. Except for feeling under-dressed on Thursday and Friday (all my nice clothes were still in boxes), the visit with the VP went well. Each night, after work, I came home and just fell into bed. I'm sure the kids thought I was the laziest person on the face of the earth, but I literally had no energy. I felt awful, but just assumed that as soon as things got back to normal, I would pickup.

Saturday, Leah and Sarah (visiting with her kids from Utah to help with the unpacking) decided to give me a day of rest. I slept almost the entire day. I was totally lazy. By the end of the day, I thought things were going better. I was excited for Church the next day and to meet our new ward. I didn't feel perfect, but I felt better. Until that night. Overnight, things got really bad. My stomach started really hurting. I threw up a few times and couldn't keep anything down. We'd eaten Chili's for dinner, so I thought maybe I overdid it, but I was in lousy shape. Sunday morning, I decided I would rest while everyone else went to Church. Then I decided I was being ungrateful and needed to go to Church. So, I got up and showered and got in my suit. I came downstairs and Church was going to be starting in about five minutes. I couldn't get my shoes on. It was too painful and exhausting to lean over. We decided to go to the doctor, instead of Church.

Bad to Worse

Sarah took the kids and Leah and I left to find a hospital. The first thing we spotted was the urgent care, so we went there. I was in terrible pain - was having trouble standing. Leah checked me in and the doctor came and took a look. He said, "You should have gone to the emergency room. Look out the window - it's right there." So, after assuring us that we'd get right in, he sent us next door. We sat in the waiting room for an hour. I even said to Leah that we should just go home and make and appointment with someone. Finally, they called me in and started checking things out. The pain and discomfort had grown pretty bad - I was at a 10 on the pain scale. They decided to admit me - I think really just to see if they could get the colitis flare up under control. In fact, on Sunday, when they took me to my room, there's this little white board with who's your nurse, treatments, etc. One of the categories is "What's Important". I told them to get back home to get to work as soon as possible.

You see, this past week was going to be busy. I had been building up to it really since I was hired for this job back in February. Two huge events were to take place, with meetings and dinners starting Tuesday night. First, my boss has spent the past several months working out some partnering arrangements with Sprint in Las Vegas (remember, I work for Embarq, not Sprint. Sprint = wireless. Embarq = wireline. Not quite that simple, but good enough for this blog.) So, there were a couple of things I needed to do for these meetings - plus attend a lead team dinner on Tuesday night and the big meeting on Wednesday. My boss would be in San Diego until Wednesday, so I was to take the lead. Then, Thursday and Friday was our first ever West Pacific Quarterly Sales Leadership Meeting, to be held at the TPC Summerlin. This was my baby. I had been working on agendas, logistics, presentations, etc. for about two months. We had about 15 presenters coming in for Thursday's session - all of them people I wanted to meet with. We had a big dinner planned for Thursday night. Friday would be the sales team only and I was working with the sales managers on what they would need to present to the boss. It was a big deal. I didn't feel like I could miss it.

Well, I missed it. I was in the hospital on Sunday night. At one point, during the night, the pain was so intense, I was literally praying in my bed and pleading for my own life. I was pleading with the nurses for help with the pain. I know they did all they could for me, but I was really struggling. Monday, the pain began to subside, but I knew I wasn't going anywhere until they did some tests. I just assumed the colitis has flared really bad, but would back off and I get on a different mix of medications. They scheduled a CAT scan on my abdomen and I waited. About three o'clock, I had the CAT scan and came back to my room. They even offered me the clear liquids diet and I had some frozen lemonade, apple juice and a delicious Italian ice. I figured we were on our way. At five o'clock, they took away any food and put me back on ice chips. They said I had a perferated colon and needed surgery. At seven o'clock, it became emergency surgery. They suspected it had begun to leak. By eight o'clock, I was in the OR. And then I slept.

Tuesday arrived with lots of pain. Here's what we learned. The large intestine had torn slightly. I had been leaking into my body. There was a mass the size of a grapefruit on my colon. The doctor had removed the entire colon and I was now colitis free. We weren't sure if the mass was cancer or not, but the surgeon was confident he had removed all the dangerous tissue and residue. I was going to be okay. I was in a lot of recovery pain. My life would be forever changed. If we'd waited even 48 hours more, I probably would have died. That was a terrifying statement for me.

So, there you have it. Now it's Sunday, the 27th. I missed all the meetings. I am still in the hospital. The mass was cancer, but right now there don't seem to be any worries about that. I'm surviving the recovery, though I am really bored sitting in this bed or in the chair or walking the hall. I'm really not very patient, but I'm trying to be a good patient, if you know what I mean. The next few weeks will be exhausting - at least a week of home recovery before I can go back to work. Fortunately, I work a desk job, so it will be manageable. Just lots to recover from.

I am really grateful for all the love and support we've received over the past week. Sarah stayed until Tuesday. My brother Chris came on Tuesday and basically just sat with me and talked while I was trying to breathe through the pain. He was here to ask questions of the doctors and support me so much. Leah's mom and sister came on Friday and left this morning. My mom is coming on Tuesday. I've had countless calls and cards and shows of support. I've had prayers and fasting and blessings from people who have never met me. We have really been taken care of. I'm sure I can't express the gratitude and love I feel at this time. It's overwhelming.

The Lord truly has a plan for each of us. We have no idea what that plan entails. I've been learning that lesson again this week. I do know this - he is aware of me and my family. He is watching our for all of us. His timeline and will and different than mine. He is truly my Savior. He spared my life in this process. Things happened, really beginning months ago, to put us in a place where this last week I had doctors ready to act. He knew we wouldn't be moving into the house in Southwest Las Vegas. He knew we would spend three weeks in Utah. He knew my Grandma would pass before we came to Las Vegas. He knew and He knows. I have to learn to trust that. Leah and I are truly blessed. I am so blessed by Leah and the strength and power she has. She lifts me up and makes me better.

I'm sure I'll have more to say about all this in the coming weeks and months. I'll try to give you some sports, too, so you aren't totally grossed out by all the medical stuff. Feel free to drop us a line. There are many of you who have reached out to us this past week and I hope you don't feel too ignored. Things will get back to normal. But they'll always be a little bit different.

Goodbye, Grandma

2008-04-17T16:03:00.002-07:00

Our trip from Kansas to Las Vegas took a sad, but not entirely unexpected turn last week. The message to me, as usual, was that the Lord knows best. Early in the week, my Mom called and said that my Grandma, her Mom, wasn't doing well and may need a blessing. I said I was more than willing to go and was glad I was in Utah to help. She said she'd let me know and that they may wait until Friday when she and my Dad were set to arrive. Grandma had been struggling with dementia for some time and had slipped into a slight coma. The doctors had thought she might make it a few more weeks, but she had taken a turn for the worse.

On Wednesday, Mom called and said she needed me and my brother to head over and administer the blessing. Of course, we agreed and headed north. When we got there, my aunt and her two daughters - Shauna and Christy - were there. Chris gave a wonderful blessing. After the blessing, we were able to sit with the family for several hours and just talk about Grandma. It was really a wonderful evening. I am so happy that I was able to be there in Utah at the time. If we'd already moved to Las Vegas, that wouldn't have been possible. For that, and many other reasons involving this move, I've realized that the Lord just knows what's right. I firmly believe I needed to be available over these last few days.

Grandma passed away about 10:30 the next morning. Sandy and her daughters were there, as well as Shelly, one of Frankie and Sandi Jo's kids - who was also Grandma's home hospice nurse. I picked Mom up at the airport that morning and we arrived at about 11:00. Again, I am grateful to have been available to be there for my Mom and my extended family. I truly wouldn't have been anywhere else at that time.

Dad arrived on Friday and the viewing was held Sunday with the funeral on Wednesday. I spent much of those two days with brothers and sisters, aunts, uncles and cousins that I hadn't seen in many years. The passing of my Grandma did one of the things Grandma loved the most - brought the family together. We talked about our memories of visiting with Grandma, about what she liked and didn't like, about her life and her legacy. We caught up on our lives and where we were headed and how many kids we had and what we were going to do next. We cried some and laughed a lot. To me, the weekend was about what all funerals should be about - the love of family and the promise of reunion. That's such an integral part of the Gospel - that we will be together again.

The day after the funeral, we left for Las Vegas. We're here now. We're in the house we are renting. The kids are thrilled. Leah and I are thrilled. There is so much to experience and so much to do. The Lord wanted us to take a little time to get here. It's been a heck of a four weeks, but those are stories for another day. His plan is just better than my plan.

I know it sounds cliche, but Grandma is in a better place, now. She's in a place where she isn't restricted by a body that was breaking down. She can share her thoughts and feelings. She can talk with loved ones that she hasn't seen in decades. She can reflect on her own life and the legacy she left behind. For the past few years, none of those things have been possible. I love my Grandma very much. I will miss her in this life, but I look forward to our promised reunion, as well. I hope she has the fudge-stripe cookies!

Breaking News: Winning NOT a Crime!

2008-04-08T12:11:00.002-07:00

Do you ever have something that you look forward to and look forward to and then, when you think there's no way it will ever happen again, it happens and you're so excited and so happy and so thrilled and you jump up and down and you hug everyone around you and then. . . you don't know what to do next? That's how I feel right now. So, if this comes across as a bit of a ramble, please remember that it has been 20 years and two days since any of my teams actually won the title. 20 years and two days. I was fourteen. I watched the '88 championship in the Schumman's basement, then rode in and on their VW bus around downtown and campus. Now I'm 34. I watched the Jayhawks cut down the nets in my brother's basement with his wife and kids. I nearly cried. Then I drove back to my in-laws house and tried to sleep. Let's just say, sleep was elusive!

The Game
Wow. I mean, holy crap! That was absolutely amazing.

At halftime, I thought, "They are playing really well. A good run in the first ten minutes of the second half and this game is over. Just absorb whatever Memphis throws and it will be fine."

Well, Memphis threw one heck of a punch. When Rose's desperation bucket that was at first ruled a three, then a two went in, I thought, "Well, that's really it. Those are the kinds of baskets that go in for teams that are meant to win."

Down 9 with 2:12 left: "It's been a great year. Nothing to be ashamed of."

CDR misses two free throws: "Interesting."

The steal and the Collins three from the corner: "Yes! Yes! Wait, not Collins! Not Collins! Yes! Yes, Collins!"

20 seconds left - the Collins drive to the basket, down 2: "Wait! Wait for the team! Play for the win! NO FOUL?????"

10 seconds left - the Rose free throws: "Just miss one. Just miss one. HE MISSED THE FIRST!"

End of regulation: "Get the ball down there. Can't take your time. No one is open. Mario's got two guys in his face. That ball could bring rain. IT WENT IN!!!! IT'S TIED! HE TIED IT." (At this point, I believe my nephew Caleb actually said he was asking for Mario Chalmers for his birthday.)

Overtimes are funny. It seems to me, 90% of the time, you can tell who is going to win in the first minute of overtime. This one was no different. KU had all the momentum. They scored the first six points. CDR his a three just before the two minute mark, but that was really the end. The Memphis players looked like zombies. The Kansas players looked like champions! It was truly awesome.

Evaluation
Two things stand out to me as I think about the game. First, Kansas WON the game just as much as Memphis LOST the game. That seems like one of those ridiculous comments that analysts make trying to fill time before your late local news. But this rings true. There is no doubt that Memphis choked the game away in the last two minutes. I mean, they were up by NINE! They missed crucial free throws. But, at the same time, Kansas made the plays to win. If Kansas can't hit the shots, then nothing else matters. But Kansas hit the shots - especially THE SHOT! Mario Chalmers may be the new Danny Manning in Lawrence, Kansas. Will he ever pay for a meal again while inside the city limits? I seriously doubt it.

Second, this game was absolutely incredible. I mean, all time great. I'm not just saying that because I'm a Kansas fan. These were two great teams that went toe to toe for 45 minutes. They played great offense and spectacular defense. They did the big things and the little things. They were awesome. The Chris Douglas-Roberts running push shot? How do you guard that? You don't even know that the ball's gone? When Derrick Rose got hot in the second half it was actually scary to be a Kansas fan. Dorsey's steal, dunk and chest bump into Cole Adrich? Juvenile, but that's his game. I kept thinking - one more push and that guy starts throwing punches! And for the Jayhawks - the back doors to Kahn, Arthur and Jackson. Arthur, all around force inside. Rush gliding to the basket. Collins bull-rushing to the basket. Mario's shot heard round the world. It was a great game. And the Jayhawks won it!

The Pool
So, I didn't do a pool and the Jayhawks won the title. Does that mean I don't ever do a pool again? Honestly, you'll have to ask me in 11 months. I don't know. I mean, I do a pool for how many years and am crushed by disappointment after disappointment. I don't do a pool in 2008 and the Jayhawks triumph. Seems pretty "1+1=2" to me.

The Okie State Thing
So, what can I even say about this? T. Boone Pickens and his semi-pro, multi-sport franchise, the Oklahoma State Cowboys are going to try and buy Bill Self. And he has the money to do it. I'm an adult. I understand that you listen to that offer. The question is, where is Self's heart. If it's in Stillwater, then he goes. If he thinks, "I've done it in Kansas, now let's see if I can do it with a program that is not one of college basketball bluebloods." Well, I guess I can accept that. It's his alma mater and we're talking in the neighborhood of $40M! But, if his heart is in Lawrence and KU makes a good, solid offer - I mean $2.5M a year, probably - then I think he stays. I just hope it's not a money grab. Don't just go for the money.

Here's what bugs me about all of this - besides the fact that T. Boone really showed his stripes by leaking this while the Jayhawks were in the middle of a title run. One of the big perks of winning or even playing for the National Championship should be the recruiting benefit in the following years. High school players saw Self and Kansas cutting down the nets. Self can go into their homes and say, "I've been there. I've done it and we can do it again." It's an invaluable tool - unless your coach leaves. In 1988, Larry Brown left for the NBA and an unknown Roy Williams stepped in - plus KU was on probation in 1989. In 2003, Roy Williams left after losing to Syracuse for the title. Self steps in - great coach but he couldn't go to recruits and say, "We just played for it all." My frustration is, if Self goes South, we miss out on that opportunity one more time. That's what really bugs me. Like I said, I'm a grown up. $40M is a lot of money. If he want's to go home to Stillwater, that's fine. I can understand listening and if KU can't counter with a really good offer, I can understand him leaving. I just wanted to be the defending champs with the defending coach. Haven't done that yet.

Okay, let me say one more thing on that. If he really loves Kansas as much as he loves Oklahoma State, I think he has to weigh a couple of things. First, what happens if winning isn't instantaneous in Stillwater. It will be harder to get big name recruits, that's now doubt. What happens in year five if he hasn't brought the title to Stillwater. Will Pickens be leaking Billy Gillespie rumors to the press? Does Pickens fire him? None of these coaches go in thinking they're going to lose, but a contract like that brings a lot of expectations. Be ready for the fall out. On the flip side, he could spend the next 15 to 20 years in Kansas, become one of the winningest coaches of all time and be a Kansas legend. I'm serious. They'd name streets after him. He can make a lot of money in Stillwater. He can make history in Lawrence.

The Aftermath
So, here we are. I can't complain anymore. One of my teams has one a championship. According to Bill Simmons, I have to allow a five year grace period before I can complain about Jayhawk basketball again. I think that's appropriate. I have to tell you, I can't stop smiling. It's awesome. I wish I could be in Lawrence for the parade. I wish I could go down to Jock's Nitch and buy a T-Shirt. I'm already looking for deals on the Sports Illustrated Commerative book about the Jayhawks. That's what I want for Father's Day! Even with the Bill Self stuff, I am absolutely thrilled. The Kansas Jayhawks are the National Champions! What a feeling. Now, someone tell the Royals and the Chiefs and the Cougars - it's okay guys. You can do it and not get in trouble! ROCK CHALK JAYHAWK!

One Final Thing
http://cbs.sportsline.com/video/player/play/collegebasketball/lSdAFK7QnyDUCeZzO9bqV2IBf0JK9PvV

End of an Era?

2008-03-17T10:05:00.002-07:00

Sad, but true. In 1995, I started running an NCAA tourney pool. No cost entry. The winner got a sweet trophy ordered online. It's one of the most fun things I do each year. I really enjoy it. So, for the first time in 13 years, I am forced to discontinue the tradition because we will be driving cross country during the first round! Unbelievable timing on my part. So, if you've played in the past, it will be back next year. If you've never played and want in. . . it will be back next year!

Are You Serious?

2008-03-14T20:11:00.002-07:00

Just a quick FYI. I'm leading with the sports. There's a paragraph at the end about how we're doing, but this one is pretty focused on the race for College Basketball Player of the Year. Feel free to skip to the end, if needed.

Look, Tyler Hansborough is a good player - a great college player even. He has some really nice tools and an engine that just won't quit and he plays for the number one team in the country. He's clean-cut. He doesn't have tattoos. He's in his thrid year in school and, especially if the TarHeels fail to win it all, he will most likely be back in Carolina Blue next year. He says all the right things. He does all the right things. He absolutely deserves to be a Naismith Award Finalist and a 1st Team All-American. Oh, and one more thing. He's white.

Now, let's talk about Michael Beasley. He, too, is a great college player and will most likely be a great pro player, too. He has an incredible tool chest full of basketball talents. He can score inside and outside. He can rebound. He can play defense. He doesn't back down from a challenge. He plays on the 3rd place team in the Big 12, but a definite NCAA tourney team. He's a little rough around the edges. He has lots of tattoos. He's in his first, and most likely only year in Manhatten, no matter what the 'Cats do in the tourney. He doesn't say the right things. He absolutely deserves to be a Naismith Award winner, a 1st Team All-America and the Freshman of the Year. He also deserves to be the National Player of the Year. And, also, he's black.

No, I'm no Jason Whitlock. I don't play the race card often. In fact, except for making the Big 12 tougher and better, I've spent much of this year rooting against Michael Beasley. He predicted, then beat, my beloved Jayhawks in Manhatten, ending a prolific winning streak for KU. He's brash. He's scary. He drives me crazy. But, he is far and away the very best basketball player that I have seen this year. I mean, it's not even a debate. He is clearly better than Tyler Hansborough. Sorry, Carolina fans. He is. He is the best college basketball player this year and should be awarded accordingly.

But, a strange thing is happening this year. Tyler was on the cover of SI. Tyler is getting all the press as Player of the Year. Tyler is the favorite to win the big national awards. Are you kidding me? Have these guys been watching the same games I've been watching? This should not even be an argument. Let's play pretend. Ignore the fact that Beasley isn't the kind of player Roy would ever recruit - Roy doesn't like superstars - even though the only National Championship he's ever won is with a team of Superstars that were recruited by the coach he replaced. No, Beasley would never fit in in Carolina. But, this is the suspension of disbelief, so let's pretend Beasley played in Carolina with Wayne Ellison and Ty Lawson. Can you even imagine that team? Seriously? Would we even be talking about Memphis or UCLA or Tennessee or Duke or Kansas right now? Nope. This would be early 90's UNLV level dominant. We'd be looking for hot tub pictures with boosters. Now, Hansborough in Manhatten? Nice team. Bill Walker is good and Blake Young is okay. But they wouldn't be a big deal. Tough team. Not scary. Not all that threatening. Not necessarily a tourney team.

So what does that mean to me? It means there is some other reason that Tyler is getting all the pub for National POY. Well, as Whitlock would say, it's because he's white. Like I said, that's not my forte. But I do think it holds some water. The politically correct way to say it is that it's about image. But that's really just semantics. "People" like the clean cut kid from rural Missouri. "People" like the kid that compliments his opponents and owes it all to his coach. "People" like the never say die engine and the two parents at home and the willingness to graduate. I know that these are broad stereotypes - but that's really all image is. When it comes down to it, this award should be about talent. And, like it or not, the very best player in college basketball is Michael Beasley. Forget about the other stuff. Give it to the kid. He's leaving anyway. Give him what he deserves!

Now, for the family stuff. We're heading out soon for Vegas. We're getting really excited and a bit sad, as well. I've dealt with the stress of a cross-country move and a new job by having an extremely painful colits flare-up that eventually required a return to predisone and a three-bag blood transfusion. Now, that's the definition of unmanaged stress! I've got to do better. On the upside - the blood transfusion has been amazing. My energy level has jumped immensley. And, that really makes sense. After all, my hemoglobin was at 5.4 - I think 13 is normal. So, we're almost ready. Leah is dealing with the stress better than me - and has been carrying the bulk of the water for the last couple of weeks. She is amazing. She really keeps me going. The kids have had their last day of school - Spring Break next week - and are excited, and a bit nervous to head out. Kate had a bit of a breakdown the other night. They are going to miss their friends, which is easily what makes me most nervous. I just want them to find a good friend with a good family when we get there. They are really good kids and I know that they will make friends, but that's still the future. Right now we can only look forward. So, we can't wait to get there. It's going to be awesome. Now we pray that the house sells. Keep that in your prayers!

Vegas is Calling

2008-03-03T10:27:00.002-08:00

We have returned - and we have a house. Leah and I spent the last four days of last week on a house hunt in beautiful Las Vegas. For some reason - probably because we'd been told how bad the market was - I assumed we'd walk in, find some beautiful dream house that the bank had taken over, make an offer and that would be that. Well, not quite. You see, apparently, when some homeowners learn that they are going to lose their home, they take it out on the house! Not good. We looked at some really scary foreclosures! I mean, two inch cockroach in the shower kind of scary. But, we looked at some really nice homes, as well. We finally decided on a new construction two story home in Southwestern Las Vegas. We love it. I don't have the pictures on my computer, but Leah just posted them to her blog, so check them out here: http://midwestkarpowitz.blogspot.com/.

So, assuming the loan process goes as expected over the next few weeks, we'll soon be homeowners in Las Vegas! We are really excited. We've only had a couple of panic attacks about making such a sizable purchase. But, that happens! With the warm there and the cold here and the plane rides, I once again have a sinus infection. That's awesome.

The Jayhawks looked like the team they were supposed to be on Saturday night in handling Beasley and the Wildcats. Sherron Collins in nearly 100% and Brandon Rush played with a rarely seen fire. Maybe February was just a blip and they will be ready for March! I sure hope so. Two more league games and then the tourneys start. I love this time of year. Go 'Hawks!

Misremember

2008-02-21T09:37:00.002-08:00

Found this through SI.com - Extra Mustard. Thought it was funny.

I Want a "Rock Star" Shirt!

2008-02-20T09:16:00.004-08:00

Well, I'm finally done working two jobs, which is making a huge difference in my stress level. When I took the job in Vegas, my old boss asked if I could continue helping out during a particularly busy time of year - the first week of February. The problem was, my new boss didn't exactly call of the dogs, mostly because I was taking a position that hadn't been filled in four months and there was a ton to do. So, the last week of January and the first week of February, I was stressed out of my mind. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm still stressed. But that's got more to do with my inate ability to internalize all stress until I'm sick. Hey! I'm working on it!!

Anyway, I spent last week on the road in Orlando, Florida and Bristol, Tennessee. I'm not in love with living in a hotel, but I learned a ton and feel like I actually have an idea how to do portions of my new job. That helps.

We continue to have the house on the market. We are excited to head out the Vegas to look at homes there, too. We've pretty much settled on Henderson, though we'll look at others if the neighborhoods and schools are good. You know what I can't wait for? Warmth. It's frickin' freezing in Kansas, Bigglesworth!

Now, let's get to some important stuff. The Kansas Jayhawks dropped their second game of the season in a hard fought battle against Texas in Austin. No big deal, right? I hope not. What gets me nervous is that they've dropped their two "big" games this year and really struggle when they get behind. Here's one of my biggest frustrations about college basketball. You have a player you know is a game changer and you get him in foul trouble in the first half. In this case, we're talking about Longhorns forward Damon James. So, he comes out rested in the second half and just starts torching you. Every rebound, every loose ball, every bounce seems to be going his way. He picks up his third foul. Why don't you then go after him? Run screens until he's on Brandon Rush. Make him defend Sharron Collins. He's going to pick up that fourth foul. And once he does, he can't be as aggressive. I get tired of the "we need to stay in the offense" baloney. Staying in the offense is losing you the game. Attack the player that is hurting you. It won't take much - three our four offensive trips and that fourth foul is on the scoreboard. It just never ceases to amaze me how egotistical college coaches are about "the offense". Sometimes, when things aren't working, you have to innovate. To me, that's one of the biggest signs of a great coach - the willingness to make changes on the fly to alter the outcome of the game. That didn't happen on Monday night in Austin and the Jayhawks walked away with a loss. I just hope that's not a sign of things to come. Despite Seth Davis' SI.com love, I'm still a bit wary of the Jayhawks in March. We'll see how it goes.

That's pretty much it, right now. The Chief's signed two kickers and franchised Jared Allen. I have them at six wins in 2008. If they stick with Brody Croyle at QB, that might drop to four. Who do they take in the first round? If Matt Ryan is there, I think they grab him. If not? Jake Long of Michigan. What we're really about to see is if the "shake up" in the front office really means anything. Who will have the last word in the draft room? If it's still Carl Peterson, we're in serious trouble.

The Royals are at full staff in Arizona. The Tigers and Indians look really good in the Central, but I like the Royals to challenge for third with the White Sox. I have to believe they're better than the Twins this year, but who knows. The Trey Hillman experiment is underway. Let's hope the Dayton Moore magic can continue.

And, finally, the most important thing - the family. We've all been sick on and off the last couple of weeks - I blame the Kansas weather. Kate has it worst of all - she was diagnosed yesterday with strep, a touch of bronchitis and a sinus infection. Yikes! Poor kid. But, as usual, antibiotics save the day. She woke up this morning looking like a different kid. She can go back to school tomorrow. Leah is counting the minutes! The twins are doing great. They have the most amazing conversations. While I was getting dressed the other morning, they sat on my bed and talked about the difference between coloring and drawing. It seems, when you are drawing something you like to draw, then you are drawing, but when it is in a coloring book, you are coloring. That's what I came away with. Good times.

I'll close with a picture. I was traveling over Valentine's Day this year. Not fun. But, on Thursday morning, this was waiting for me in my Inbox. By the way, that's Ryne's "Rock Star" shirt. Funny.

When Bad Things Happen to Good Teams

2008-01-31T06:53:00.000-08:00

Let me be honest. I would have been really happy if the Kansas Jayhawks had made history and run the table this year, marching their way to the National Championship without dropping a game. That would have been really fun. But, in my heart, I knew that wasn't likely and I was even in the camp that felt it might be okay to lose sometime during the Big 12 season just to take the undefeated pressure off. Unfortunately, I forgot to put in the exception - that loss should in no way come to the Missouri Tigers or the Kansas State Wildcats. A loss to Iowa State or Texas A&M? No big deal. Just don't fall to the hated Tigers or 'Cats.

Well, the Crimson and Blue took care of business in Columbia. Last night came the showdown in Manhatten, where the Jayhawks hadn't lost since 1983! Read that again. The Jayhawks hadn't lost on the K-State home floor in 24 seasons. No player in the game last night was alive the last time a Jayhawk team walked into Manhatten and lost. (Yes, that just makes me and you feel old. I know.) So, I had some confidence heading into last night's game. Sure, the upstart Wildcats had the best player in the country in Michael Beasley. But karma wouldn't let these guys actually win, right? I mean, the only reason Beasley came to K-State was because Huggy-bear hired the phenom's AAU coach as an assistant and the coach stayed on the staff after Huggins bolted for WVU. That kind of crap doesn't get rewarded, right? You see, that was my downfall. That kind of crap DOES get rewarded. Larry Brown hires Ed Manning as an assistant. Danny Manning picks Kansas over UNC. Kansas wins 1988 National Championship.

Last night, the basketball gods paid the Jayhawks back as the team of experienced guards looked rattled the entire game, Brandon Rush scored his first 2nd-Half points with less than four minutes left and Russell Robinson fouled out not once, but twice! That's right, the streak is over. The Jayhawks are no longer undefeated. The card board cut out known as K-State coach Frank Martin has his first "signature win". Whatever that means.

So, where do we go from here? Well, fortunately, the 'Cats still have to come to Lawrence later this season. I'm counting on redemption in that game. And I still firmly believe this Kansas team is the best team in the entire nation, despite Memphis' undefeated season. (Come on. Conference USA?) But, now they look a little more faliable then before. It's like when Lex Luthor finds out about kryptonite. The mighty can be beaten. And that's what will be harder going forward. The blueprint for failure has been officially published. Granted, no other team has Beasley. And KU doesn't have to play a road game during the tournament. But, they aren't perfect. That's what really stinks.

Tag, Sucka!

2008-01-29T06:02:00.000-08:00

Okay, so I've taken some abuse over the past few months for my failure to get back on the blogging train. Well, consider this comeback number three - with some modifications.

First of all, I'm letting go of the "columnist" style writting. I need to accept the fact that I'm not going to be the next Sports Guy. Now, that doesn't mean that I'm not going to write about sports. I will because, frankly, I love sports! However, I am going to open up my writings to other topics as well - family, politics, religion, movies, books, you name it! Hopefully, that is good news to all of you.

Second, I'm not sending out notices when I post. Time to start checking back, just like everyone else. I always felt kind of stupid sending those out, so this is really just a change to make me feel better about me.

Finally, I'm going to try and post something a couple of times a week. Some will be long, some will be short, all will be Pulitzer worthy! (Okay, that's a little bold.)

So, I hope you enjoy - Now, for my first trick. . .

Several days ago, I was "tagged" by my brother, Joel, who is an awesome guy. Tagging is like those email surveys that go around, but cooler because it's called "tagging". It makes me feel hip and in the know. Here we go:

A. The rules are posted at the beginning.
B. Each player answers about themselves.
C. At the end of the post, the player tags 5 people, posts their names, and goes to their blogs letting them know they've been tagged. (I may break this rule. I don't know if I know of five blogs that haven't already been tagged. I'll do my best.)

5 Things I Was Doing 10 Years Ago

1. January 98 - Trying to get Leah to like me and impress her with my superior wit, charm and cooking ability. (Turns out she really doesn't like pasta.)
2. Producing KBYU news three days a week.
3. Teaching Assistant for the beginning television class. Good times, seeing people get in front of a "live" camera for the first time and try to sound coherent.
4. Living with Dave (one of my best friends for mission/college), Steve (a great guy that predicted after our first date that Leah and I would get married), Jason (interesting) and two guys that were only up at night, it seemed. One of them worked at the movie theater and could get us in for free, so that was cool.
5. Trying to win the "World News Tonight with Peter Jennings" internship.

5 Things on My To-Do List Today

1. Conference Call with account manager trying to give away about $200K worth of equipment and maintenance. Not a good idea.
2. Finalize all E-Rate pricing.
3. Call Brother Furnell
4. Start calling Sacrament Meeting speakers for February.
5. Take down the swing set (weather permiting).

5 Snacks I Enjoy

1. Ice cream (upsets my stomach)
2. Cereal and Milk (upsets my stomcah)
3. Chocolate (upsets my stomach)
4. Cheetos (jury is still out)
5. Pizza (Papa Murphy's, please)

5 Things I'd Do If I Were a Billionaire

1. Buy a beautiful house in San Diego with all the things Leah and I have always wanted in a home.
2. Pay off all debt for me and Leah, all our siblings and our parents.
3. Put enough money away for Kate, Emma and Ryne that they never have to worry.
4. Travel in my own private jet - no more waiting in airport terminals.
5. Alternate between Leah's family and my family hosting Christmas in various fabulous locations (Hawaii, New York City, London, Paris, etc.)

3 Bad Habits

1. I'm a bit OCD when it comes to scheduling things and sticking to the schedule. When I go out, I like to map out my route (in my head, not on mapquest) and, as Leah can attest, I get a bit bothered when we change up on the fly.
2. I'm a teaser. My kids definately get it from me.
3. I just love too much! Okay, just kidding. I am, in my heart, extremely lazy. Given the opportunity, I would spend my Saturday sitting on the couch watching sports. Leah and kids make me get up and moving and I'm a better person for it, but I secretly still want to be sitting back and cheering the Jayhawks!

5 Jobs I've Had

1. Paper Boy
2. Carpet Cleaner
3. Waiter in a theater in a barn in the wilderness of Northeastern Kansas.
4. TV News Producer
5. Tariff Analyst

5 Things People Probably Don't Know About Me

1. I've lost about 35 pounds in the last six months.
2. I believe my actions effect the outcome of specific sporting events involving the Kansas Jayhawks, the Kansas City Chiefs and the Kansas City Royals. If I find a spot on the couch and my team is winning, I don't move. If I do move and they lose, I blame myself.
3. I have a man-crush on Danny Manning. Every time I see him on TV, I get excited.
4. Thanks to Joel and Amelia, I loved the show "Veronica Mars" and was really upset when it got cancelled last year.
5. I love 80s power ballads - Def Leppard, Whitesnake, REO Speedwagon. They are awesome.

Okay, so there you go! I'm tagging Sarah, Christy and Andy. Everyone else's blog has already done this!

Michael Jordan is a PHONEY!

2007-12-11T13:48:00.001-08:00

This is my least favorite sports picture of all time. Not just because it's from the Jazz NBA finals loss to the Bulls, but because it is clear that Jordan is not really sick at all. He is just putting on a show to build his own legend! I've seen better acting in junior high school performances of "Fiddler on the Roof"! This picture drives me nuts!

Bonding with Barry

2007-05-21T08:38:00.000-07:00

I can’t believe I’m writing this. Even as I type the words into my laptop, I can’t believe I’m about to make the statements that are running through my head. What could I possibly be thinking? What would make me alter a course I thought was true? Frankly, I’m tired of the deception. I’m tired of the lies. I’m tired of Bud Selig’s drawn and lined face drooping in a sanctimonious frown. Give it a rest, Bud. That act is transparent.

So, here it is – the big revelation that is just so earth shattering. Are you ready? I think Major League Baseball should honor Barry Bonds when he breaks Hank Aaron’s all-time home run record. I think the commissioner of baseball should glue himself to the San Francisco Giants after home run 754. I think he should be there when Barry ties the record and I think he should be stopping the game and unveiling a plaque when Barry breaks the record. Unfurl the red, white and blue bunting. Order a bat made of solid gold to present to the new home run king. And, use every bit of pull you’ve got with Mr. Henry Aaron and convince him to be there, too. He doesn’t need to smile and he doesn’t need to talk – but he ought to be on hand.

Why would I speak such blasphemy? Why would I throw my support behind a washed up slugger who in all likelihood spent five of the most prolific home run seasons in baseball history putting so many illegal steroids and hormones in his body that he could probably carry quadruplets to term? Well, I’ll tell you. This predicament – the one where a surly, mean and cranky (on a good day) outfielder is about to break the most revered career record in all of sports – is the fault of Major League Baseball.

Now, you’re right. Baseball is not the only one at fault here. Barry absolutely carries a significant amount of responsibility. I will never be convinced that the man wasn’t aware of what was going into or onto his body. He makes a living with his strength. His body must function at the highest level possible to do what he does. He’s always been able to hit, but his sudden and dramatic increase in power between 1998 and 2003 was absolutely and unequivocally the result of performance enhancing drugs. And that is wrong. Granted, they weren’t illegal when it came to the rules of baseball, but most of what he took was illegal in a court of law. And, let’s be honest here. Barry is a grown man. My four year olds are aware when they have made a bad choice. Barry knew what he was doing.

However, it is my contention that Major League Baseball – right up to the commissioner’s office – knew what Barry was doing, as well. They knew at least as early as 1998 when an acne-covered Mark McGuire started belting the ball and Sammy Sosa’s head grew to the size of a watermelon. And, I’m guessing they knew about the problem in general long before that. And, yet, they did nothing. They watched that summer as Mark and Sammy held their own personal love-in, each of them trying to out-homer the other until the hulking Cardinal first baseman finally tore down Roger Maris’ asterisked home run record. Their eyes must have been like cartoons with those dollar signs turning over and over. Why else would they remain silent when McGuire said the andro was just a supplement? Why else would they look the other way when major league locker rooms were so covered in acne, you would have thought you were in my old Central Junior High School football locker room? Why else would they cover their eyes when Barry Bonds showed up the next year like a beefed up version of the Incredible Hulk – when his baseball card that year still looked like mild-mannered Dr. David Banner?

I’ll tell you why. Bud Selig, as a representative of the owners of all 32 major league baseball teams, wanted the home runs. He wanted the excitement. He wanted the gate receipts. And, so, his sin was not one of commission. Bud didn’t take the roids, that’s for sure. He didn’t inject anyone in the rear and he didn’t set up a pipeline through Mexico to sell the stuff. What he did do was just as bad. He did nothing. He didn’t move to change the league’s drug policy until after all the news came out. He didn’t open an independent investigation until after fans started comparing baseball with professional wrestling. He didn’t start suspending players until after the stars had time to clear their systems – sorry Palmiero, you were the sacrificial lamb. By doing nothing, he allowed the cancer to grow and develop and he gave it his implied blessing.

So, Mr. Selig, you are the Dr. Frankenstein to Barry Bond’s scary monster terrorizing the villagers. You created him and he is very much alive. I know, you’ve been hoping for an injury or an indictment. But, it’s probably not going to come. Now, it’s time to live with the world you created. It’s time to own up to the fact that you were complicit in arriving at this point. It’s time to put on your San Francisco cap and you’re warmest smile and stand in front of that camera in a week or two and take your medicine. Stop wringing your hands and stop pretending it isn’t happening. It will be like taking off a band aid – better to jump right in and get it over with. And, just think. As soon as he breaks the record, you can start hoping against hope that in a few short years, A-Rod can knock Barry’s name off the top of your list. But don’t sell us this see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil act. Acknowledge the record. Go to the game. Shake Barry’s hand. And stop treating us like we’re morons. Don’t you think we know why the Brewers’ are in first place, mister former Milwaukee owner?

Must Wins

2007-04-18T09:29:00.000-07:00

Here’s a question: When was the last time a Major League Baseball team faced a must-win game this early in the season? Give up? Okay, the answer is last year at this same time. However, it may have been a trick question since the team needing the win today and last year are one and the same. That’s right, it’s mid April and once again my Kansas City Royals are fighting for their playoff lives. It they were an NBA team with two games to play, that would be exciting. Alas, they claim to play in the MLB, and that means they have 148 games left. And this afternoon, they must win.

It’s terrifyingly eerie, actually, the similarities between the start of this season and last season – especially since this team is supposed to be so much better. It’s the first full year of the Dayton Moore Experience. His free agent moves are now on the clock – Gill Meche, Ryan Shealy, Tony Pena, Jr. His improvement of the Royals’ minor league system is ready to produce – Alex Gordon and Zack Greinke now, Billy Butler and Luke Hoechaver soon. He’s got the veterans who can build on great things from last year – Mark Teahen and Mark Grudzielanek. This should be so much better right? Well, based on the first 14 games, we’ve seen a whopping one game improvement.

In 2006, the Royals started strong with a 2-3 home stand. All they had to do was have a mildly successful nine-game road trip and they’d start generating some confidence and keep the fans coming back. So, what did they do? They went 0-9 on the road. Nothing ever really improved after that point. Just that quick, they were 2-12 and out of contention. So, now we have all these high hopes for 2007. So what do they do? They open up 2-4 at home, but they played Payroll, Jr. (Boston Red Sox) and the defending American League Champion Detroit Tigers. Plus, they got some great pitching performances. The only concern were their quiet bats. All they needed to do was have a mildly successful 10-game road trip. 4-6 would do it. So, what happens? The only two positives are a win in the second game in Toronto and a rain out of the fourth game in Baltimore. That’s right. They are 1-7 on the trip. They did give up grand slams in three consecutive games, so that was pretty cool. And David DeJesus. That guy’s awesome. But, if they lose this afternoon, they come home at 3-12. If they win, it’s 4-11. That single win can make a world of difference. If they don’t get it, the wheels might just come off again.

So, as you probably know from reading this site, it’s time for me to make a couple of well-intended suggestions. Look, I love the Royals and always will. And I’m in no way saying that the front office hasn’t considered these options. Perhaps they have. What I am saying is that there are a couple of things I would do in order to keep that feeling of hope for winning Royals baseball, especially if they aren’t going to actually win on the field. So, here are my top three suggestions.

1) Trade Mike Sweeney. Now, I’m not saying trade him today, because I think he’s hitting .162 and you’re not going to get much considering his injury history. But, as soon as he warms up a bit and gets that average up to about .250, I say start shopping. Two reasons: First, he’s still a big enough name to draw some interest from those teams that like to spend in the A.L. – the Angels, Red Sox and Yankees all might take a look. Second, you’ve got a better hitter cooling his heals in Wichita. Let Billy Butler take over the D.H. duties. We want to see him in K.C.

2) Play Reggie Sanders every day. The man is hitting .391. He deserves to be on the field every single day until they decide to trade him. And they will decide to trade him. Reggie is playing his way into the perfect fourth outfielder/pinch hitter on any contender in either league. If he stays healthy, he’s going to command some decent value in return come late June, early July. Let him show off what he’s got so we can get something back for him.

3) Start looking for a new manager. This must be done quietly. I’m not in any way trying to disparage Buddy Bell’s character. He seems to be a truly nice guy. He is not, however, by any stretch of the imagination, a successful major league manager. At the end of this season, if not sooner, he needs to go. We need someone who knows how to prepare a team to play. This team has been woefully unprepared for several years. Buddy is not the answer. He been keeping the seat warm since Tony Pena quit, but he hasn’t shown the ability to motivate the players or manage the game. I’m not saying do it now, but at least by the end of the year, be ready to hire someone new.

So, that’s it. That’s where I would start. Well, that’s not quite true. The place to start is by getting a win this afternoon. Then come home and build on it. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Kansas City is a baseball town. It always will be. We want a competitive team and the parts are tantalizingly close. We’re almost there. We just need a win to keep the hope alive.

Just the Way It Is

2007-04-09T17:45:00.000-07:00

True story: It’s Wednesday night and I’m surfing the net. I happen upon the tee-times for the 2007 Masters, which begins the next morning. Suddenly, it hits me. I need to make a change. I need to stir the pot. I need to back a winner. So, leaning on my background as a suburban, conservative father-of-three, I decided to turn in my membership card to the Phil Mickelson fan club. I decided to no longer support the sometimes spectacular, often infuriating left-handed risk taker and hitch my rooting interest to the one guy I thought surely could win me a championship. That’s right. I turned to my wife and said, “Okay, if anyone asks, I’m a lifelong Tiger Woods fan.”

Sounds plausible, right? I could get used to saying I root for Tiger because then I could cheer when Tiger pulled on his fifth green jacket on Sunday. Despite the failures and shortcomings of my other “favorites”, I could have at least one “sure thing” in my pocket. I even considered calling my brother-in-law, who is ever faithful to any team or player with even the remotest of ties to Brigham Young University, and making the declaration official. I’m fairly certain the conversation would have gone something like this:

Me: Hey, I’ve changed allegiances. I’m rooting for Tiger Woods now. My guy is totally going to win the Masters.

Him: What? Why would you do such a thing? Have you considered the merits of Mike Weir? He played for the Cougars, you know! Did you know former BYU linebacker Rob Morris single-handedly won the Super Bowl for the Indianapolis Colts? With Danny Ainge running the Celtics, they’ll soon return to the NBA elite. Remember what he did to Notre Dame? Go Cougs!

Well, I didn’t make the call. But it didn’t matter. I knew I had done it. I had a winner. I could finally celebrate. I would be anxiously awaiting my Sports Illustrated with Mickelson, my new nemesis, helping Tiger into yet another green jacket. I was ready to start yelling, “You the man” after every Woods tee shot. I would buy red Nike gear to wear to Church on Sundays to celebrate Tiger in red walking up the 18th fairway. It would be the dawning of a new day in fandom for me. By Saturday night, I was getting ready to taunt my friends that supported lesser golfers. The conditions at Augusta were horrific and the field was in shambles. Despite playing less than stellar golf, they’d all come back to Tiger and he’d once again be in the final group on Sunday. It was his tournament. It was my tournament. I was sure of it.

Then reality returned to my world. Woods took the lead briefly on the front 9 and knocked in an incredible eagle on the back 9, but he never really made a significant charge. He never forced the other contenders to blink. He never got that intense look in his eyes that tells everyone the tournament is his. Nope. He didn’t do any of those things. You know what he did? He lost. He didn’t choke. He didn’t fall apart. He just lost. In other words, he played just like all my other favorites play when things matter. Somewhere between mediocre and crappy. Certainly this was just a fluke for Tiger! Those things happen, right? Oh, yes. They happen often. They happen with the kind of insidious frequency to the teams and players for whom I cheer, that I’ve been forced to turn to the fatalist’s mantra – that’s just the way it is. There’s nothing I can do to change it. Unless I jump off the Tiger bandwagon, his assault on Nicklaus’ major championship record is in dire straits.

However, despite this life altering realization, I’m not here to complain. I’m not here to scream. I’m not here to cry about bad plays or missed calls or if onlys. No, I’m here to make some money. I’m here to tell you that I have a business proposition for you. For only a nominal fee, I will become an ardent fan of your most hated rival. Can’t stand the Lakers? I’ll don a Kobe jersey and they’ll be out in the first round of the playoffs. Sick of Yankee dominance? I’ll sport the accent and start calling Mike and Mad Dog to tell them the Yanks are going to cruise to the World Series. Before you can say Derek Jeter, the Bronx Bombers will be dropping both ends of a double header with the Devil Rays. And, perhaps this little nugget. Are you a Buckeye? What if I grow my hair long, get a perm, tie it back in a crazy pony tail and start telling everyone how the Gator Boys are going to party like no one has ever seen before. That in itself could set Florida basketball back to peach baskets and granny shots!

That’s right. I’ve finally come to this important realization. It’s hit me and there is really no denying it. My teams don’t win – at least not championships. Next year is the 20 year anniversary of the last time any of my four favorite teams (Royals baseball, Chiefs pro football, Jayhawk basketball and BYU college football) won a major championship. That’s right. In 1988, Danny Manning took the Jayhawks to the title. It was the end of a phenomenal run for me. In 1985, George Brett and the Royals won the World Series. In 1984, Robbie Boscoe led the Cougars to an undefeated season and a national title. Granted, the Chiefs were pretty lousy back then, but it’s not like they’ve been to a Super Bowl since then, either – even with the great Joe Montana running the offense in the early 90s.

But, I’m not going to be down anymore. Nope, I’m looking to the future. I’m planning ahead. I’m hoping to pay for my children’s missions, college educations and weddings. Just let me know who you want me to back and they’ll fall on the kind of hard times that legends are made of. Together, we can do it! We can beat this thing. We can lose one for the Gipper! And don’t forget our new slogan – That’s Just the Way It Is!

10 Things I'd Change About Sports

2006-09-12T11:33:00.000-07:00

A couple weeks ago, I took a look at the biggest travesty in sports – the current college football bowl system and the completely inane way they determine a national champion. Well, that got me to thinking. If I could change anything about sports today, beyond the obvious revenue disparities that are killing baseball, what would I do? I’m not talking about the massive restructuring needed in the NBA or anything like that. Mostly, I’m just speaking of the things that bug me that I don’t want around anymore. Feel free to add your own!

1. Tennis Scoring – Tennis is a fairly simple game. Win six games to win a set, but you have to win by two or the fifteenth game goes to a tie-breaker. Best of three or five sets wins. That makes perfect sense. It’s an enjoyable game to watch and long rallies in big matches can generate the requisite amount of tension to qualify as big sports moments. Tennis has had great characters over the years – from the stoic Ivan Lendl to the manic John McEnroe to the over-the-top Richard Williams. It has a terrific history. It’s an enjoyable game. So, why, in all of that, do we perpetuate the game scoring system? Love-15-30-40-Game? Advantage this or that? How about first to four, gotta win by two? Wouldn’t that be a lot easier?

2. No More Cupcakes – No, this is not about my in-game snacks - this one goes to college football and basketball. Enough with the Division IIs to warm up for the big games. I’ll accept some exhibition games to give the local small schools some revenue. But those should be at a discounted price for the fans and should not count on your season record. Two things bother me about these games – besides the fact that I’m charged full price for a ticket. First, they are almost always blowouts. I know Colorado lost to Montana State this year, but 99% of the time, the bigger school wins. It’s not that enjoyable. I love my Jayhawks, but I really don’t get excited to see them blow out Washburn in early November at Allen Field House. Second, these games can do more harm than good. There’s nothing in it for the bigger school but a W. Do they prepare as well? Do they look ahead? Isn’t this a recipe for disaster on the injury front when a small school player is just trying to get noticed? In the grander scheme of things, I just don’t like the idea of “pad” games to boost your win total. This is one area where the professional leagues have it right. When the season starts, all games should carry equal value. It’s one thing to play a bad team in your league. It’s another altogether to play an inferior team in a different league and have it count on your win total. I want to see more match-ups like last week’s Ohio St.-Texas game or the upcoming USC-Nebraska. That’s what I like in sports.

3. Mandatory Double-headers. Baseball is getting a bit soft. Double-headers are a treat for the fans and should be a part of every team’s schedule. All scheduled double-headers should be played on Saturdays. Come on, is it really going to hurt to play two games in one day? It’s not like you have to have the same pitcher out there for 18 straight innings. I know it would mean six less days to sell tickets, but how about if each team schedules three home and three road double-headers. One ticket gets the fans into both games. Go out to the park around 3:00 pm, and stay through the end of game two between 10 and 11. That is a great way to spend the day. Plus, if you don’t change the length of the season, that gives the team six extra off days. At what point did baseball become so fragile that teams now claim this would be too hard on the players? They’re not china dolls! They can play a game for a couple of hours – especially if the dates are scheduled in the fall – after the rosters expand. It’s a money issue for the owners. So you get 59 home dates instead of 62. Get over it, you babies!

4. No Televised Poker – Poker must be stopped. It’s getting out of control. I don’t care if you’re in the “poker takes skill” camp or the “poker is all luck” camp. Regardless, I am tired of seeing it on television. I have two reasons for this. The first is a moral reason. Poker is gambling and gambling can ruin lives. It is addictive. People seek the rush and for every college-Joe who’s won the World Series of Poker, there are 1,000 schmoes who’ve spent the family savings on the game. Let’s not pretend it’s anything different. Second, it’s stupid. Obviously, this is a subjective opinion, so I really don’t need facts to back it up. But, it’s a silly game of chance and you can puff it up with all the ridiculous terminology you want, at its heart, that’s really all it is. Whether it’s a poker pro from Atlantic City or Ben Affleck playing with his buddies, I’m sick of the latest rage.

5. The NBA Playoffs – This one is easy. They’re too long. It’s as simple as that. It takes much too long to get from Game 82 of the regular season to Game one of the NBA finals. The current playoff structure rewards mediocrity and in turn hurts excellence by making them risk it all in a seven game series against a team that barely won half their games, but got a big star back right before the post-season. I don’t like it. I say cut it in half. Four teams advance from each conference – the three division winners and one wildcard. That’s plenty and it means there’s actually a reward for winning. Next, the first round is a best of five. Conference finals are best of seven and the NBA title should be best of seven. It doesn’t minimize the champion and it makes the playoffs mean a lot more. 16 teams in the playoffs is really just a first round money-grab for ticket sales.

6. Standardize Golf Equipment – I am certain this will never happen, but I am equally certain that it would be good for golf. The PGA can handle this in one of two ways. First, use the NASCAR model – different manufacturers, but specific standards on the equipment. The other option is for the PGA to sell the rights by club – drivers, irons, wedges, putters – and by ball. That’s five different contracts, but all players use the same set of equipment. Let the players use their clothing to advertise for other manufacturers. The result will be a level playing field. How much better is Tiger than the rest of the field? Let’s find out with everyone using the same shaft, the same club head, the same ball.

7. Pass Interference – Nothing is more absurd than the pass interference call at the pro level. By placing the ball at the spot of the foul, you are simply assuming that every ball would have been caught. College football has the penalty right – 15 yards and an automatic first down. That’s plenty. Even better, though more subjective, would be to make pass interference similar to the face mask penalty. Have an incidental version and an intentional version and make defenses pay for pass interference with the intent to interfere. If my corner back is running stride for stride, looking back at the ball and the wide receiver stops, causing my DB to crash into him, that’s incidental. My guy was looking for the ball. However, if my DB tackles your WR before the ball gets there, that is true pass interference.

8. Intentional Fouls – The concept of intentional versus incidental is never more muddled than in the world of basketball. I’m tired of the foul shots at the end of the game. When did this become an accepted part of the strategy? If you’re not good enough to win in the flow of the game, you’re not good enough. This idea of “going for the ball” being the line in the sand between a regular foul and an intentional foul is ridiculous. Intentional means you did it on purpose. The penalty for any such foul should be two shots AND the ball. If you know you won’t get the ball back, the incentive to commit the intentional foul goes away. I agree that defenses may need to be more aggressive at the end of games, but there are consequences for that. You shouldn’t get the reward of getting the ball back.

9. Eye in the Sky/Get the Call Right – I’m tired of professional sports trying to fight against technology – specifically when it comes to replay. If video review can get a call right, let’s use it! I’d much rather know that the play was called correctly than to be worried that a review slowed the pace of the game. I think review can be used to improve the quality of the officiating. How many of a crew’s calls had to be overturned? The onus of this shouldn’t be on the coaches to throw a flag. The leagues should want to get the calls right, no matter what. So let’s use the technology we have to make that happen. Personally, I say take it even farther. Can we use the system that tennis has to determine where a ball hit to determine if the football crosses the plane of the goal line? Can we standardize the strike zone? Are there other tools that we can use so that the play on the field determines the winner – not the calls made during the game? That’s what I would prefer.

10. No More Intentional Walks – Lots of people don’t like the DH. That one doesn’t bother me. I like offense and the DH promotes offense. If I could change one rule in baseball, it would be the intentional walk. I hate that thing. Certainly it has made a star of Barry Bonds in recent years. But, it just rubs me the wrong way. You should have to try and get each batter out. If you can’t do it, there are consequences. However, the percentages already favor the pitcher. The best hitters still fail more than 60% of the time. So, it’s not as much strategic as it is cowardly. Now, if a team is really committed to NOT pitch to someone, the consequences should be more severe. I think, if a walk is deemed intentional, the batter should get two bases or let all runners move up 90 feet with the walk. So, if you have a man on second and want to walk someone, that’s fine, but the man on second will be moving to third, as well. Or have all intentional walks be worth two bases. Then, if a man is on second and you don’t want to pitch to the batter, the runner goes to third and the batter goes to second. The next intentional walk would score the runner on third, even with first base open.

So there you have it. Those are the top ten changes I would make. I’m sure there are more. Let’s hear what you’ve got.

The Race for 63! The Royals continue to inch closer to the 63 win mark and are playing .500 baseball. This week they went 1-2 against the Payroll, and 2-1 against Payroll, Jr. in Boston. With two out-of-contention teams this week in Cleveland and Seattle, they can make up some ground. Current record: 54-90. Projected record: 61-101.

Season of Hope

2006-09-05T08:35:00.000-07:00

The National Football League has it all figured out. They put the pieces together, they’ve been willing to sacrifice a little for the good of the whole and they’ve reaped the reward – becoming the most powerful sports league in the United States. And this is the time of year when you can see just how well the business plan works. From Seattle to South Florida, from San Diego to Foxborough and everywhere in between, fans are saying the same thing: “If a couple of things go our way, this could be our year!” It’s true! The feeling is everywhere. Colts fans believe Manning gets over the hump this year and carries the franchise to glory. Raider fans are hopeful a mobile Aaron Brooks will allow the offense to carry a suspect D. Just last week, Eagles fans saw the trade for Donte Stallworth and said, “This may be the missing piece now that You Know Who is gone.” It’s all based on hope – and hope sells tickets.

Granted, some hopes are more realistic than others. For example, the Patriots have a proven track record that a strong D and some piece parts on offense, plus the amazing leadership ability of Tom Brady can be enough to win Super Bowls. They don’t need to just hope – they’ve seen it happen. Their hope is that the stars align again this year – and that Deion Branch picks up his uniform and starts playing! On the other coast, 49ers fans are hoping that things click this year for Alex Smith and that the offense can look more like an NFL team and less like pee-wee football. But, the hope is still there that with just a few breaks, the 49ers can be a wildcard team. Perhaps the place where hope reigns supreme this year is in the Superdome in New Orleans. Just a year after Katrina, the signing of a marquee QB and dumb luck (plus a dumber Houston front office) helping to get Reggie Bush wearing black and gold, hope is the operative word in the Saints locker room. Hope is contagious in the NFL – and from late July to early September, it is rampant.

Right here in Kansas City, hope strikes hard. Like the majority of NFL teams, hope in Kansas City is based on not-quite fulfilled expectations in the past combined with off-season moves heralded with the promise of future success. It’s the kind of hope that builds excitement, even though there are way too many unanswered questions. A defense that has been horrid for years gets some young talent up front and some old talent in the secondary. But is it enough to even be middle-of-the-pack in the NFL? The offense is revamped to focus on a bruising runner that exploited defenses throughout the second half of 2005. But, with huge changes along the offensive line, will he get the blocking he needs to continue his meteoric success? And of course, the issue of age. Is the window closing? Despite the likes of Derrick Johnson, Tamba Hali and Larry Johnson, the Chiefs must be considered one of the older teams in the league. Trent Green, Tony Gonzalez, Eddie Kennison, Will Shields Ty Law and Patrick Surtain all will play prominent – even vital – roles this year. Yet all are on the back-half of their careers and, in the NFL, age can catch up in an instant. All we can do is hope that these guys still have enough in the tank to finish the year.

As for me, I’m conflicted. I want to buy into the hype. I want to believe that a patchwork offensive line can open holes for Larry Johnson, even with future Hall of Famer Willie Roaf watching from home. I want to believe that Tony Gonzalez will get back the Mojo that Antonio Gates stole from him and return to prominence as one of the best Tight Ends in the game. I want to believe Kyle Turley can protect Trent Green’s blindside and Sammie Parker can become a legitimate receiving threat. Then there’s the defense. I hope against hope that Hali will be a difference maker and not hit the wall in Week 10. I hope that Ty Law still has enough savvy to pick off 5 to 10 passes and Bernard Pollard can continue to ram into receivers like a freight train. I’m desperate to see a defensive line that can at least slow the run, even if they can’t stop it all together.

But, even will all this hope running through my veins, I’ve got a nagging feeling about this Chiefs team. There’s that doubt in the back of my mind – this fear that we’re one knee injury away from 2-14. I was amazed by Larry Johnson last year. I don’t expect a repeat performance. The line is part of the reason. But the other part is just a feeling. I’m not sure Larry can do it for a full year. He’s going to slow down. Defenses are going to stack against him. It will be more difficult. I like Ty Law, but the man is getting up there for a defensive back and he has to go up against Randy Moss twice this year (even with Aaron Brooks throwing those ducks down the field). And, I firmly believe the AFC West is one of the best, if not the best, division in football. Nobody lies down. There are no gimmies. Oakland is bad, but they’re still Oakland. Even if you dressed me in Silver and Black, you couldn’t pay me enough to go to a game there. That place is scary! Denver is better than last year – even with Jake the Snake still running the offense. San Diego probably has the most talent in the AFC, but will have to get along together to make it work. It’s going to be a tough ride. I can see the Chiefs finishing anywhere from 8-8 to 12-4. I think they’ll need at least 10 wins – and most likely 11 – to make the playoffs. So, here’s how I think it shakes out this year:

September 10 versus Cincinnati – Carson Palmer will come out firing, but Arrowhead on Opening Day should be enough. Plus, I think Palmer is still worried about his legs and I wouldn’t put it past Gunther Cunningham to tell his guys to hit low. Chiefs hold on for the win (1-0).

September 17 at Denver – The frustration continues at Mile High. This game is probably too early for a Chiefs defense still trying to find its way. Plummer will be conservative early in the year – he saves his choke jobs for when it matters. Broncos get the first one (1-1).

September 24 – BYE.

October 1 versus San Francisco – This is one of those games that the Chiefs lost in the past because they assumed they would win just by showing up. I blame that on Vermeil. I think Edwards has them ready and they win big (2-1).

October 8 at Arizona – Edgerin James scares me, but Kurt Warner and the Arizona offensive line do not. I’d give anything to have one of those receivers wearing red and gold, though. I like the Chiefs in the dessert (3-1).

October 15 at Pittsburgh – The Chiefs are no match for the defending Super Bowl champs. This team will be supremely confident and I don’t think the Chiefs can stop Willie Parker or the Steelers’ defense. Chiefs lose (3-2).

October 22 versus San Diego – I like the Chiefs to defend their home turf against and AFC West rival. Look for multiple defensive stunts to keep Phillip Rivers uncomfortable and the Chiefs out in front (4-2).

October 29 versus Seattle – The Chiefs can’t keep the momentum going and Shawn Alexander will tear them to pieces. In a matter of three weeks, they’ll have lost to both 2006 Super Bowl teams (4-3).

November 5 at St. Louis – The Chiefs reach the half-way point of the season with no sign of Willie Roaf. However, they are better than the Rams and talent will be enough (5-3).

November 12 at Miami – The Dolphins prove why they are one of the AFC favorites this year – dominating the Chiefs on the ground and on defense. That is quickly becoming the recipe for success against KC as they just can’t get over the hump (5-4).

November 19 versus Oakland – The Chiefs move into the easiest part of their schedule and crush the Raiders in KC. No love lost between these teams, but Oakland is bad on both sides of the ball (6-4).

November 23 versus Denver – Again, the Chiefs use home field and fend off the surging Broncos. Thanksgiving Day in KC will be good for the home team (7-4).

December 3 at Cleveland – The Browns and Charlie Frye will be overmatched as they are still a couple of years away. The Chiefs make it three in a row with a road win (8-4).

December 10 versus Baltimore – This game would scare me earlier in the year, but this late, McNair will be hurt, Lewis will be in jail and the Chiefs will win their fourth in a row (9-4).

December 17 at San Diego – On the road in the AFC is always tough and this game proves no different. The Chargers use Tomlinson perfectly and knock off the Chiefs (9-5).

December 23 at Oakland – A night game with those insane fans? No thank you. But, the Chiefs put up a good fight, then blow it on a couple of big plays to Randy Moss (9-6).

December 31 versus Jacksonville – In a must win to have any shot at the playoffs, and playing at home, the Chiefs struggle with the pressure, but are able to keep Jacksonville quiet in the cold (10-6).

So, there you have it. Ten wins, six losses. But, here’s the kicker that will really make Carl Peterson’s blood boil. It still won’t be enough to get into the playoffs, finishing with a 3-3 division record – behind San Diego and Denver at 4-2 in the West. And so will begin an off-season of frustration. And, when the NFL draft roles around, hope will return. It always does.

The Race for 63! The Royals take two from the Twins and two from the White Sox before getting crushed by the Payroll (Yanks) on Labor Day. They’ve got a heck of a schedule through the end of the year, but the .500 baseball effort will still get the job done. Current record – 51-88. Projected record – 59-103.

Fixing College Football (Part II)

2006-08-28T11:44:00.000-07:00

A couple of interesting comments on my plan for re-aligning the college football conferences and I’m guessing most of you agreed with the sentiment that this may be a bit far fetched. (I believe the words “pipe dream” were used.) That’s all fine and good. I’m well aware that the powers that be are not interested in making radical changes. My plan is simply to put out there what would work. I am confident we will spend the next ten years or more wondering why USC and Auburn aren’t playing for the title when neither has a loss, or how a two loss Oklahoma team snuck into the picture or why TCU isn’t getting a shot or what to do with three undefeateds. That’s the reality of college football today. My point is that it doesn’t have to be. It just takes some common sense.

As for questions about which teams were in and which were out, remember that all teams are still D-I and all conferences will have a shot. We’ll get to more of that later. I could certainly see replacing Miami-OH with Northwestern, but the Wildcats never really fit into the Big 10 and I think one of those MAC teams that is actually trying to succeed in big time college football at least deserves a shot. I feel the same way when it comes to excluding Texas Teach and Baylor in favor of at least one team from the WAC and the Mountain West. Though decent schools, Tech and Baylor never would have been invited into the Big 12 if BYU had accepted the offer back when the league was formed. Just because they’ve been in for 10 years doesn’t make them a legit super-conference team to me. And finally, Duke. I understand their basketball prowess and if the same scheme were applied for both football and basketball, they would have to be included. But as a football only solution, the Blue Devils get the boot. They are awful and don’t deserve to be in a Super-Conference based on their gridiron incompetence. That’s just the way it is.

The next step in the process involves scheduling. This is pretty simple. First of all, no more Division II’s (known as “cupcakes” to most of the world, “tune-ups” if you have a lot on your schedule or you live in Manhattan, Kansas). If you choose to schedule a Division II, it doesn’t count on your record, but you don’t get to schedule an extra game because of it. The maximum number of regular season games is 11. The regular season must be complete by the weekend after Thanksgiving. For Super-Conferences, you play each team in your division one time. For regular conferences, you play each team in your conference once. That leaves four games on each schedule.

For Super-Conference teams, one of those games will come against a team from the other division in your Super-Conference. The match-up will be determined by the order of finish in each division the previous year – if you finish third in your division, you play the team the finished third in the other division. Home field rotates. One year one division hosts all of them, the next year the other division hosts. Think of the matchups, especially based on the first, second and third place teams. It makes me giddy! The schedule opens 13 weeks before the weekend after Thanksgiving. This year, that would be September 2. That’s when games are scheduled to begin already. That gives every school one or two off weeks throughout the regular season. Plenty of time for an 11-game schedule. I’m getting rid of conference championship games. They are worthless. The coaches don’t like them and they really aren’t fair. The current state of the Big 12 is a great example. If Texas runs the table and wins the Big 12 South, they shouldn’t have to play a nothing to lose Nebraska team that won the North, but is barely ranked in the Top 25. My system will reward both for winning their division, but Nebraska will have to work its way through the field to get a shot at the Longhorns.

Oh, and that reminds me. College football games will be played on Thursday and Saturday. That’s it, with some minor exceptions during playoff time. No Tuesday night game. No Wednesday night game. The NFL gets Sunday and Monday. High school football gets Friday. I don’t need to see Marshall play Northern Illinois on Wednesday night just because ESPN thinks it would be fun to get an extra game televised. Stick to the normal days! The compromise is Thursday with a couple of games televised that night. But that’s it! Not only is this better for the fans, the fact that the NCAA is allowing games on any day but Saturday goes directly against their “these are students-first” philosophy. Students first unless they have to go crazy prepping for a Wednesday game when they just played four days before that. If you’re so in love with protecting your student-athletes, make it Saturday only for college football! Otherwise, enough with the hypocrisy!

So that leaves us with three games for the Super-Conferences and four for the Standard Conferences. Schools can schedule these games against whomever they want – if Notre Dame wants to play USC every year, great. But, for Super-Conference teams, only one of these games can be against other Super-Conference teams. The other two have to be against Standard Conference teams. The philosophy here is that the in-conference schedule for Standard Conference teams is naturally going to be a bit weaker. They deserve a shot at as many Super-Conference teams they can get. However, the Standard Conference teams have no limits on their opponents. As long as they are Division-1, they can play whomever they want. Finally, all non-conference games must be complete prior to the beginning of conference play. Once conference play begins, that’s where we stay – until playoff time.

And that’s where it gets exciting. When play ends on the Saturday after Thanksgiving, it’s time to determine which teams are in the hunt for the championship. My system is simple. The format will consist of 24 teams. The division winners of each of the four Super-Conference divisions (8 teams) and the conference winners of each of the seven Standard Conferences (7 teams) get automatic berths. The final nine teams are the nine teams not yet in with the highest ranking according to the final BCS poll. Because the conference champs or division champs are automatically in, I can’t envision any scenario where an undefeated team isn’t in the playoff. They’ll have played every team in their division or conference at least once and not lost, meaning every other team in their division or conference has at least one loss. No more Utah’s and Auburn’s on the outside looking in. They get their shot.

The final 24 teams are then seeded one through 24 based on the final BCS poll. Teams one through 8 get a first week bye. Teams 9 through 24 play each other the first Saturday after the regular season ends. (Team 9 plays 24, 10 plays 23, etc.) For Week 1 of the playoffs, games are held at campus sites of the higher seeded team. When those eight games are completed, the teams are re-seeded 1-16 and the 1-8 teams host Week 2 playoff games. (Again, one plays 16, two plays 15, etc.)

After two weeks of playoff excitement, we’re down to eight teams. Now the bowl affiliations come into play. Seven bowls will be associated with the National Championship series. The NCAA could take bids or simply invite the biggest and best. I would include the five currently part of the BCS system and add two more. Which weekend these bowls are played will rotate each year. Week 3 of the playoff has the eight teams remaining. Week 4 is the Final Four and Week 5 is the National Championship. The National Championship game is always played on New Year’s Day, unless that is a Sunday. In that case, the National Championship game is played on Monday. That means, on New Years Day, you crown an actual National Champ. No waiting for final polls. No questions surrounding two or more undefeateds. The decision is made based on who wins on the field. With the top 24 teams getting in, there is no way that there will be an undefeated team that doesn’t win the National Championship. It’s win or go home.

Now, in today’s bowls system, 56 teams get to play in bowl games. If my system ended there, only 24 teams would get a post-season. That’s where all the rest of the bowls come in. The other bowls can send out invites to other teams that didn’t make the playoff. The significance of these games doesn’t change what we see today. They can pick any of the teams that didn’t make the playoff. They can schedule the games whenever they want as long as it’s not after the National Championship game. College football ends on New Year’s Day. That’s that.

So, there you go. That’s my system. I’m sure it’s not perfect, but I think it would work. The max number of games any team would play is 16 – and that’s only if one of the lower seeded (9-24) teams made it to the title game. I’m guessing the National Championship game will be game 15 for most teams each year. We’ve already got teams that play 14 games a year, so that isn’t much of a stretch. The bowls would complain, but they’d get over it. I think the television folks would prefer this. You’ve got your sites for the final three weeks pre-determined and you are going to see the match-ups every one wants to see over the course of the playoff. All it takes is some willingness to change. And, one more thing. I’m sure the money issue can be worked out. Between gate receipts and the normal fees paid to participants and conferences, there will be plenty to go around. Every conference is assured at least one playoff or bowl game. So you can divide the first two weeks equally between the all Conferences, then do payouts based on remaining games after that. My point is, it’s not that difficult. If I can put something together while working on my laptop and sitting on my bed, the NCAA can get a group together and make it work. Let’s just do it!

The Race to 63! The Royals didn’t take my .500 admonition to heart, losing 2 of three to the Indians and Blue Jays. Now they need a winning streak to get things going in their favor. Current record – 47-85. Projected record – 58-104.

Fixing College Football (Part I)

2006-08-21T10:04:00.000-07:00

It’s time to fix college football. Now, I know you cynics out there are saying, “Isn’t college football already fixed?” So, let me be clear. I am not talking about gambling. I am talking about a game that is so broken, that fans of just about every school admit going into the season that it is entirely possible for their team to win every game and not play for the “National Championship.” College football is so behind the times that several coaches that vote in the Coaches Poll admit that they rarely watch other teams play. College football is so lost that even though the Bowl Championship Series has been revised just about every year since its inception, it is still considered the ugly step-sister to every other NCAA-sanctioned method of determining a champion. (See tournament in your dictionary.)

So, before I come to you with my all-encompassing, change everything and see what happens solution, let’s ask the question. Why is college football broken? The game itself is incredibly exciting, the talent on the field has never been better and the passion of fans is off the charts. So what’s the problem? The answer, of course, is money. You see, money changes everything and when it comes to money and the NCAA, the bowl system is the proverbial cash cow (or, in the case of the Chick-Fill-A Peach Bowl ad campaign, quite literally a cash cow). Last season, there were 28 bowl games. There will be about that many again this year. Of those bowl games, one – maybe two – have implications on the National Championship. But all of those bowl games have an effect on the NCAA bottom line. Through sponsorships, ticket sales and broadcasting rights, the NCAA and its schools and conferences make money on each and every game – even when the stands are only one-third full. The bowl organizers make money on all but a few games. The advertisers make money on most games. It’s a delicate balance and the NCAA is terrified to disrupt it.

Who loses in this deal? The fans. The fans pay the money and buy the cable packages and listen to the advertising and watch 27 games that are meaningless to the national title picture. And what are they left with on January 6th or 7th or 8th or whenever the championship game is played these days? Most of the time, we’re left with a disputed National Champion. Does that happen in college basketball? Not a chance. That first Monday in April always ends with a CBS playing “One Shining Moment” while the last team to win cuts down the nets. That’s a champion. No questions. One champ. College baseball? One champion? College softball? One champion. College volleyball, swimming, diving, tennis, wrestling, fencing, tiddlywinks? One champion for each level of competition. Heck, even the Division II and NAIA schools can pick one champion! We don’t get that in Division I college football. And it’s time for that to change.

Now, I’m not much for writing a series, but my plans to change college football is going to come in two columns. That’s because I have a lot to say and don’t want to run on forever in one column. The last decade of BCS confusion will indeed take me two installments to fix! First is conference alignment. Part II will include scheduling and bowl games. That way, you can rant at me if your team isn’t treated well not once, but twice!

Okay, let’s get on to the conference system in college football. There are too many conferences and they are not created equally. Even at the super conference level, the current conference alignment doesn’t make sense. The Big East is a great example this year. Though once somewhat powerful, the Big East is a shell of its former self as schools have jumped ship to other conferences. West Virginia is a title contender this year because the Mountaineers should run the table this year. It will be a huge upset for them NOT to be undefeated in December. That’s based on the fact that they are clearly the best team in a weak conference. But because the Big East has an automatic BCS birth, they are virtually guaranteed a spot in the national title equation. That’s not right.

When dealing with re-aligning the conferences, we’re going to start with some automatic disparity differences. For example, North Texas and USC are both Division I college football teams. However, the money that USC puts into their program is millions above the North Texas budget. They aren’t – and shouldn’t be – on a level playing field. However, if North Texas wins its conference and USC wins its conference, both ought to have an opportunity to make it to the national title game. This is the college basketball corollary – that smaller schools aren’t looking for an automatic spot in the championship game, but they are looking for a realistic path to reach that game. The result will be four Super-Conferences with 16 teams each, 8 in two divisions. The remaining Division 1 Teams would form 7 Conferences with 8 teams each. (We’re actually one short, so one team conference could have seven teams or the NCAA could induce another school to move up.) Conferences and divisions are based on geographic area and rivalry history. Here’s how I would break the four Super-Conferences down – we can think of catchy names for them later:

East Coast A
Boston College
Maryland
Penn St.
Pittsburgh
Syracuse
Virginia
Virginia Tech
West Virginia
East Coast B
Clemson
Kentucky
Louisville
North Carolina
North Carolina State
South Carolina
Wake Forest
Vanderbilt

Southern A
Alabama
Auburn
Florida
Florida St.
Georgia
Georgia Tech
Miami (FL)
Tennessee
Southern B
Arkansas
LSU
Mississippi
Mississippi St.
Oklahoma
Oklahoma St.
Texas
Texas A&M

Midwest A
Miami-OH
Michigan
Michigan St.
Minnesota
Notre Dame
Ohio St.
Purdue
Wisconsin
Midwest B
Illinois
Indiana
Iowa
Iowa St.
Kansas
Kansas St.
Missouri
Nebraska

Western A
BYU
California
Oregon
Oregon St.
Stanford
Utah
Washington
Washington St.
Western B
Arizona
Arizona St.
Colorado
Colorado St.
Fresno St.
San Jose St.
UCLA
USC

I understand that everyone may not agree. Baylor, Texas Tech, Northwestern and Duke would be irate. But, the cuts had to come somewhere and frankly, I liked your programs the least! Also, it’s time for the NCAA to strong arm Notre Dame into a conference. No more special treatment. If they want a shot at the National Championship, they need to play by the same rules, special TV contract or not. And, finally, don’t call me a homer for including BYU in a Super Conference. BYU is a premiere program with a huge national following and the rivalry with Utah pushes them over the top. Plus, my brother-in-law would have clogged my inbox for the rest of the week had I not put them in.

Now, as I said before, the remaining teams would be aligned into standard 8-team conferences. There would be a total of seven. I’m not going to try and organize those conferences. Suffice it to say that the organization should be done by region. The process is simple. Take the final 56 teams and plot them on a map. Then organize them so that the eight closest are together. Pretty straight forward, plus you may actually develop some regional rivalries. There’s a novel thought.

So, there’s phase one – 120 teams in four Super Conferences and seven Standard Conferences. Now, before we move to schedules and bowl games in my next column, let me add one more thing. The BCS Poll stays. In fact, it needs to be expanded. I want it used to rank all 120 teams from top to bottom. The only changes I would make are that it needs to be released weekly starting with the first week of conference play and it needs to be somewhat static. Decide which polls and computers and college football insiders are going to be used and try and keep some continuity from year to year. The poll should be managed by a group of athletic directors and conference presidents that can rotate from year to year. It would be similar to the NCAA Selection Committee. I know many people hate the BCS poll, but in this scheme, I think it would actually work. But, for that revelation, you’ll have to wait for Part II next week. . .

The Race for 62! Though I haven’t written for a while, that doesn’t mean I’ve stopped following my favorite baseball team. The Royals have actually improved and don’t seem to be in danger of setting any major league loss records, though they are still flirting with the franchise loss record. After sweeping the A’s in a double-header on Friday, they lost the last two games of the series for a split. However, if they can play .500 baseball through the rest of the year, they will finish the season at 63-99! It’s still in reach! Current record: 45-81. Projected record: 58-104.

Kansas City on the Clock

2006-06-06T08:27:00.000-07:00

Today’s the day. This is it. Now is the time. Seize the moment. It’s time for the bounce. For those of you that aren’t aware, I am announcing it right here. June 6, 2006 is the day the Royals turn it all around. Today our pain turns into joy at Kaufman Stadium. Today we replace the bags over our heads with our Royals’ caps and DeJesus jerseys. Today we hit the bottom and start moving up. There’s a pretty wide gap between the Royals and the rest of the league, but starting today, that gap is going to close. I know it’s coming. I can feel it. My mind is spinning with excitement. Did I mention that I hit my head on the door frame as I climbed out of my car this morning?

No, that can’t be it. It’s the Royals. It just has to be. You see, today is the Major League Baseball 2006 amateur draft. Over the next 36 hours, around 50 new players will be added to the Royals stable of young talent. For the first time in franchise history, the Royals will make the first overall pick in that draft. The player they choose will join Alex Gordon and Billy Butler and Justin Huber as the future of Kansas City Royals baseball. Rumors are that they will go with a polished (meaning college) pitcher – either Andrew Miller from North Carolina or Brad Lincoln from Houston. I know, there are also those rumors out there that say they Royals haven’t decided yet or aren’t going to be willing to pay number one pick money, so will draft a lesser-known or high school prospect that will be easier to sign. A year ago, I’d have said those rumors were right. Not this year. Not now. Not anymore.

They Royals have changed. There’s a new sheriff in town – or at least, there will be on Thursday. Last week, after months of speculation, Royals’ ownership said goodbye to Allard Baird and the perpetual three-year plan. To replace him, they hired the biggest up-and-comer in major league baseball front offices - Atlanta Braves assistant general manager Dayton Moore. By all accounts, this is the best possible hire the Royals could have made. He’s got a history in scouting and player development, two areas where the Royals are in serious need. He’s got a strong personality. He grew up rooting for the Royals and has a love for Kansas City. He’s going to be the difference maker. Part of the agreement with the Braves is that Moore won’t join the Royals officially until after the draft ends on Wednesday. But that’s okay. He spent the week prior to the announcement meeting with the Glass family. His goals are clear. It’s time to bring this once-proud franchise, this former World Series champion, back to relevancy in Major League Baseball. That journey starts today with the draft.

Now, in the waning hours before Moore’s tenure truly begins, let’s examine just how bad things got over the last six years. I’m not trying to pile on Allard Baird. I’m sure he is a good guy. And I am certainly not absolving David and Dan Glass as owners. They are still on the hook for their unwillingness to re-locate to Kansas City and view the club as more than just another discount shopping store – this one offering great deals at super-low prices to other MLB clubs. However, I have no problem saying that Allard Baird’s near six-year tenure as general manager of the Kansas City Royals was an unmitigated failure. It was awful. Baird failed in all possible areas to do his job. I agree that the GM cannot play the games and that the players have to perform to succeed. However, you get to a tipping point where the talent divide is so extreme, even if the Royals players were playing at the top of their game, they would still lose two out of every three. That is where we are right now. And the underlying cause is that for the last six years, Baird was completely and utterly unable to do the four things required of a general manager in Major League Baseball.

First, Baird was unable to manage the budget in a way that would allow for success. “But the budget is the responsibility of ownership!” you say. That is true. However, the general manager has the ear of ownership and it is the job of the general manager to school ownership on how to spend their money in order to put a quality product on the field. The Royals now have a reputation as misers – unwilling to put adequate money into any facet of the operation – scouting, player development, the front office or the big league club. More than a small portion of that blame falls at the feet of the general manager, who was unable to convince ownership how and where to spend those dollars. Because of that failure, Dayton Moore will be required to revamp the baseball operations budget. His first and biggest test will come as he works to convince the Glass family to spend more money AWAY from Kaufman stadium. Hire better scouts, expand operations in Latin America, get the best minds available into the front office. These will be the first big hurdles for success. My optimistic side tells me that Moore got these assurances from David Glass up-front. My realistic side reminds me that there is most likely still work to be done.

Second, Allard Baird will be remembered for many years as one of the worst player evaluators ever to hold a high profile position in major league sports. Baird’s first three drafts were absolute busts. The jury is still out on his last two because those players are still getting seasoned in the minor leagues. But, make no mistake, if Gordon and Butler fail and if Chris Lubanski doesn’t show fast improvement, the Baird player evaluation stock will fall even further. His first two first-round picks – Colt Griffin in 2001 and Zach Grienke in 2002 are unconditional failures. But, it’s not just the number one picks that have hurt the Royals. The Royals haven’t had a steal in the draft in years. They haven’t uncovered a sleeper pick that becomes even an average to good major league player. And, the truly despicable final straw - in most MLB circles, the Royals aren’t considered a draft contender after about the fifth round. Why? Because it takes money to sign draft picks and the Royals haven’t been willing to spend that money. So, for the last 90% of the draft – picks 6 through 50 – the Royals haven’t been looking at talent, but at sign-ability. They’ll draft a player higher that will be easier to sign, but those types of players shouldn’t really be drafted in the first place. Add to that the unwillingness to spend money in Latin America finding potential stars and the problems grow even worse. Moore’s job will be to make the draft meaningful and expand the Royals role in Latin America. Unfortunately, he won’t be able to have that influence this year, but in 2007, he’ll be expected to make picks late in the draft that could be sleeping giants. That’s how you build a farm system.

Third, and speaking of that farm system, Allard Baird never managed to build it up enough to have any success. Instead, Baird built an entire franchise full of Double-A players. Most of the young guys on the Royals roster this year should be trying to refine their skills in Wichita or one of the other minor league clubs. Instead, they are rushed to the majors. This creates multiple problems. First, these guys are overmatched at the major league level. The perpetual failure hurts the players’ growth. They don’t see success because they are taking their unrefined skills against the best in the world instead of developing them against comparable talent and growing with success. Major League Baseball is different than most other professional sports in that MOST players don’t really mature until their mid to late 20s. Yes, the super stars may get there earlier, but for every one Albert Pujols there are 20 Derek Lees – guys that need a few years to mature and then can give you two to four years of great play. The Royals’ system doesn’t allow those players to develop because they are forced to fail against the guys that have already gone through the developmental process. Second, because so many guys are rushed to the majors, players that really shouldn’t be playing in any affiliated minor league are taking up roster spots on A and AA ball clubs. These are players that have no shot at making it to the majors. If the player has no realistic shot at making it to Kansas City, cut him loose! Third, if you do have a player that has strong major league potential and you rush him to the majors, his service days add up and you are unable to keep him longer when free agency arrives. Without getting into the finer points of the spectacularly complex world of MLB free agency, players move through stages toward unrestricted free agency by accruing days of service in the major leagues. If you have to rush a David DeJesus up, he’s going to be eligible for free agency sooner. That means, when he’s hit that mature point, a small market club like the Royals won’t be able to afford him. People crying for Alex Gordon to play third in Kansas City this year need to understand that the only thing that will accomplish will be getting Gordon onto the Yankees’ payroll sooner rather than later. Let him develop, than use his MLB days of service when he is at the beginning of his prime. Then build a franchise and environment that a player wants to be a part of and maybe one or two will choose to stick around. That’s the only model that works for small market baseball teams.

Finally, and most spectacularly, Allard Baird failed in the vital role of trades and free agency. Building a major league ball club is like putting together a 25 piece puzzle. Your farm system should supply 20 of those spots. The final five you will have to get through free agency. When you need to trade a young prospect away because you know you can’t resign him, you need to get players back that will be able to fill those first 20 spots within one or two years. Baird’s tenure was filled with awful moves in both of these categories. First, in free agency, Baird grabbed guys with glaring problems (Chuck Knobloch), serious injury concerns (Kevin Appier in 2003, twice) or terrible track records (Benito Santiago and Juan Gonzalez before the 2004 season). None of these moves worked. He also gave contract extensions to Angel Berroa and Matt Stairs, signed Jose Lima and gobbled up middle infielders with no power like I grab crab Rangoon at an all-you-can-eat Chinese buffet.

So that leaves us with trades. Baird’s Royals tenure will be known for the trading away of what could have been the greatest young outfield in the league. In his six years, he traded the following players: In 2001, he traded Johnny Damon for Roberto Hernandez, Angel Berroa and AJ Hinch. Later that year, he joined a three team trade that sent Jermaine Dye to Oakland and brought Nefi Perez from Colorado to Kansas City. Finally, in 2004, he sent Carlos Beltran to Houston and ended up with John Buck, Mark Teahan and Mike Wood. These three trades, more than any other moves, define the ineptitude of Baird’s tenure. Three times he had young, productive and high-demand players and he gave them away for piece parts. Berroa, Buck, Teahan and Wood would not be on the major league roster of any other big league club. Hernandez, Hinch and Perez are no longer with the Royals. They were awful moves and Baird deserved to lose his job based on those three moves alone. Dayton Moore will have to be able to get value in return when the young Royals stars are priced out of Kansas City. His ability to do so will define his tenure, as well.

So, there you have it. Out with the old, in with the new. Now, I’m left with only one thing that truly bothers me. Since John Scheurholz stepped down as Royals GM, we’ve had the following first names in that position Herk (Robinson), Allard (Baird), Muzzy (Jackson, interim GM until Moore takes over) and Dayton (Moore). I know it’s not a reflection on their ability, just strange. Nobody named “Jack” available? How about “Tom”? Does “Matt” disqualify me for the job? I think I’ll change my name to Spartacus. Then I’ll get a place in line. Until then, go Royals. It’s a new day.

The Race to 63! The Royals went on the road last week and did surprisingly well, winning one in New York, two in Oakland and one in Seattle. Alas, they are still on pace to be one of the worst ever. Current record: 14-41. Projected record: 42-120.

A Tale of Two Cities

2006-05-23T08:10:00.000-07:00

The Royals were swept at home by the St. Louis Cardinals this weekend. Now, this is not the kind of headline that anyone is going to look at in shock. It’s sort of similar to saying, “The sun rose in the East this morning!” or “Brittney Spears had a visit from social services.” So, the sweep at the hands of their cross state rivals is hardly a lead story. You see, the Cardinals are twice the team the Royals are right now. They have a strong, if not spectacular pitching staff with some solid starters, dependable middle relief and a great closer. They have a powerful lineup that can knock the ball around the park with the best of them. And, they have, in all likelihood, the 2006 MVP and home run leader in Albert Pujols, one of the most exciting young stars in all of baseball. The Cardinals have a legitimate shot at going back to the World Series for the second time in three years.

The Royals? Not so much. The Royals have, by all accounts, a pretty weak pitching staff. There is no ace on this team, nor even a king, queen or jack. It’s entirely possible that no Royals starter will finish the year with double-digit wins. Their middle relief is probably the strongest element on the team. Not exactly a great selling point for a professional baseball team – “Come see Mike Wood hold the opponent scoreless for two innings before Burgos gives up a game breaking three-run homer in the ninth!” Yes, their closer leaves plenty to be desired. Now, all of this would be fine if the offense was solid. Not even close. The Royals are not known for their ability to string together consecutive hits, never mind put up a lot of runs. “But the Royals are young,” you say. Certainly their youth would allow for some leniency if they were playing solid, fundamental baseball and showing growth from game to game. No luck there, either. The Royals’ defense has been atrocious and each night they seem to find new ways to lose.

So, when the Cardinals strolled into Kaufman stadium on Friday for a three game set, few people considered that the Royals would be able to put up much of a fight. And, believe me, they didn’t. But, here’s the hard part for the lifelong Royals’ fan. It hasn’t always been this way. In fact, there was a time when Kansas City and St. Louis were the best two teams in all of baseball. The competition between the powder blue Royals – led by tough as nails Hall of Fame third baseman George Brett – was fierce for in-state loyalties with the red birds of St. Louis – led by silky, smooth Hall of Fame short-stop Ozzie Smith. And at no time was that rivalry stronger than in 1985 – when the two teams came together in the World Series.

Certainly, the 1985 Fall Classic will not go down as one of the best in history for the national television audience – and definitely not for the network that carried the match-up. The I-70 series held little interest for most of the country. But, here, in the Midwest, it was huge. Remember, this was before interleague play so up until 1985, we could only argue about which team was better, but we couldn’t ever prove it. I went to school with lots of Cardinal fans. I collected the baseball cards of Brett and White and the Quiz – and willingly traded away Ozzie and McGee and Andujar. They were the enemy and we were thrilled to be facing them. Those were heady times for baseball in the Midwest. The Royals had been to the series in 1980, losing to the Phillies. The Cardinals won it all in 1982 and went back to the series in 1987. But, for a Royals fan, 1985 was the moment to remember. The series went seven games but turned on a controversial eighth inning call at first base in Game 6 when Jorge Orta was called safe – a dubious judgment at best that even most Royals fans admit was wrong today. But, after the crushing Game 6 loss, the Cardinals were no match for Kansas City in Game 7 and we were celebrating in the streets.

And, frankly, that was pretty much it for the Royals. That was the high point. I don’t know if it was the Orta call or the increasing salaries or the change in ownership, but the Cardinals stole our Mojo after that. After winning their division six times between 1976 and 1985, the Royals haven’t been to the post season since. Attendance peaked at 2.4 million in 1989 and fell all the way to 1.3 million last year – just 100K more than after the 1994 strike when many baseball fans stayed away to make a point to Major League Baseball. And, of course, you are aware of the brutality of losing endured over the last four years in Kansas City, losing 100 in 2002, 104 in 2004 and 106 last year. The Royals are well on their way to crushing that mark this year. It’s a frightful and frustrating time to be a Royals fan.

Meanwhile, just three hours away down I-70, things couldn’t be more positive. The Cards returned to the series in 1987 and then again in 2004. They’ve appeared in the post season seven times since the ’85 Series, each time as their division winner. Their attendance marks have gone through the roof with 3.5 million last year. That mark will certainly be eclipsed this year as they opened the new Busch Stadium. They’re exciting. They play good baseball. They are competitive each and every night.

But, do you know what really bugs me about St. Louis right now? Despite all the losing here and all the winning there, the thing that really pushes me over the edge is that they now pass themselves off as Baseball City, USA. There’s this sense of superiority that goes beyond wins and loses. It’s this idea that they are simply better fans and that’s why their team has been better. That drives me crazy. If Royals fans really thought it would make a difference in how ownership spent the money and how the team was run from day to day, Kaufman Stadium would sell out every night. But we know that won’t make a difference. While St. Louis fans have been coddled and nurtured and rewarded by their ownership group, Kansas City fans have been neglected and ignored and punished with viciously ugly baseball. We’ve been treated poorly and you can only take that kind of neglect for so long.

My frustration stems from this neglect. It’s an issue that Kansas City management just doesn’t get or, if they do get it, they just don’t care. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. The fans in Kansas City are good fans. Kansas City is a baseball town at its core. There are 2.5 to 3 million people that will buy tickets over the course of the year. We want to be there. We want to wear our Royal blue throw-back jerseys with Patek or Wilson or MacFarland on the back. We want to walk through the Royals Hall of Fame and see Splitorff and McRae and Montgomery. We want to sit and talk and say “remember when” about George Brett and “what if” about Bo Jackson and “why not the Hall” about Frank White. These guys were our heroes growing up. We rifled though our mother’s baking cupboards to find toothpicks so we would look like U.L. Washington when we took the field. We got in arguments with the Reds bandwagoner in the early 90s who though Chris Sabo was tougher than Kevin Seitzer – a laughable proposition at best and fighting words on some days. We were jealous when our friends had tickets and we didn’t. We wanted to be there. It didn’t matter if you had box seats behind the plate or upper level right field line seats for Mormon Night at the Royals. The stadium was the place to be in the summer. It was an event.

Not anymore. Now, we are the fools. Now, we mumble to our friends that we are Royals fans. The response is an incredulous stare – “Really? Why?” We wait for the evening sports report and hope that there wasn’t a play so atrocious that it will make the SportCenter highlights. We secretly watch the waiver wires and listen to baseball insiders and we hope for some tidbit of positive information about a prospect or a trade or a hot hitter. And we wait. And we wait. And we wait. All we need is a sign – a little bit of positive news, a sincere effort from ownership to improve without asking for money for stadium renovations at the same time. We need a manager that gets mad and looks more than just downtrodden at the losing. We need a captain who doesn’t spend a third of every year on the disabled list. We need a player – any player – who says, “I love playing in Kansas City. The fans are the best. This is a wonderful baseball town and a solid franchise!” Except it isn’t. It’s a joke. You want Major League Baseball? It’s available and just a short, three hour drive east on I-70. We don’t play that way anymore in Kansas City.

The Race to 63! For the second time this year, the Royals returned from a road trip without a single victory. They are just the ninth team in the last 30 years to have two double-digit losing streaks in the same year. And it’s only May. The Royals spent last week getting swept by the Indians in Cleveland before returning home and getting embarrassed by a sea of Cardinals fans at Kaufman Stadium. Since I’m posting this a day late, they added a shutout by the Tigers after a players only meeting. They are, in word, pathetic. Current record: 10-32. Projected Record: 39-123.

Barry's World

2006-05-15T08:54:00.000-07:00

713 and holding. That’s the number of home runs Barry Bonds has hit in his career. Now, don’t get me wrong, that’s a lot of home runs. That’s the third most of any player in the history of Major League Baseball. It’s more than Mickey Mantle, more than Willie Mays, more than Mark McGuire. But for Barry Bonds, it’s not going to be enough. Neither is 714 or 715. Neither is 755 or 756 or 800, for that matter. For most people, Barry’s athletic accomplishments are going to be discounted severely. They are going to be asterisked, they are going to be rationalized, they are going to be tainted by a single, one-word accusation – STEROIDS. Frankly, I don’t have a problem with that.

Here’s what I do have a problem with. As ESPN brings us every Barry Bonds at bat until he passes Babe Ruth’s mark of 714 – not the record, by the way. Ruth is number two behind Hank Aaron’s 755 career home runs. However, as we are inundated with seeing Barry stand there every 45 minutes in his full-body armor and either walk or pop weakly to short, there is one question that everyone seems to be ignoring – at least in San Francisco, California and Bristol Connecticut. It’s the proverbial pink elephant that no one seems to want to discuss. Certainly, I can understand the hesitancy in San Francisco. The answer could cast a cloud over all the things that franchise has accomplished in the last seven years – most notably their trip to the World Series a few years ago. But I’m shocked by the Worldwide Leader’s willingness to be a pawn for Barry Bonds by continuing to hype the Ruth mark. They are the current journalistic voice of American sports, no matter what Sports Illustrated or Fox Sports of CBS Sportsline wants you to think. And, yet, ESPN, Baseball Tonight and all the rest are looking the other way why this giant, pink elephant looms in the corner.

I mean, put yourself in Barry’s situation. Let’s say you are a world class mechanic. For the first 30 years of your career, you are known for your ability to do just about anything well when it comes to fixing cars. You can tune the engine, fix the brakes, rotate the tires, replace the filters and even change the oil frequently enough that people say you might be one of the best ever. Certainly good enough to be mentioned with Wal-Mart auto and NTB and Tires & More. You are truly a five-tool mechanic.

Then, all of a sudden, as you should be putting the finishing touches on a career filled with mechanical glory, you see all of the publicity going to these younger guys that can’t do everything you can do, but can change the oil faster than anybody in history. They are re-writing the record books with their oil-changing ability. And you get a bit jealous. So, you decide to change your game. You realize that, based on your career, if you really focused on oil changes, you could challenge the career record holders in the next ten years and knock some of these snot-nosed punks off their pedestal. You could someday surpass the immortals – maybe even exceed Jiffy Lube – a mark most people thought was unreachable. So you do it. You make the changes and they are all natural.

But now, people are getting suspicious. “Why is he suddenly so good at oil changes?” They’re asking. “He barely does any of the other things he used to do. If all I need is my brakes fixed, he still just goes for the oil change. And why does he look so different? His coveralls have ballooned to twice their normal size. He’s just an oil change machine, now. Plus, he’s really surly!” Well, you know the answers. You’ve honed your body to be ideal for oil changes. You’ve changed your tools and perfected your routine. And you’re grumpy because it’s hard focusing on one thing all the time and the rumors are really starting to get to you. “It’s not right for him to be like this. The all-time greats didn’t have these kinds of technologies. I hear he’s using synthetic oil!” Soon, the government is looking into you and the guy who made your ratchet set is sent to jail. People assume you are a cheater because you know these guys. But you know better. “It’s all real,” you say. “I simply started focusing on strengthening my body to change oil!”

Then, the unthinkable happens at the worst possible time. Just as you are about to surpass Firestone to move into second all-time, those jerks at Popular Mechanics write a book. They say it is well researched, but it is based on the testimony – illegally obtained – of the guys that went to jail for their own illegal-ratchet activities. They just want to bring you down, too. They just want to keep their names in the yellow pages. So they accuse you of the using black-market ratchets to gain an advantage, even though it may be damaging your other equipment. They find an old girlfriend and she is more than happy to tell people what a mean guy you are. It’s all coming down around you. You go to change the oil in San Diego and someone throws a bottle of Castro Synthetic into the grease pit.

So, what do you do? Do you really just sit back and take it? If you know the book is a lie, don’t you sue the authors for liable and defamation of character? Don’t you let them have it with both guns, turning over sales receipts and journals to show that you didn’t cheat? Do you really go into Milwaukee and struggle to change the oil while someone stands behind the yellow chain holding a sign that says, “Jiffy Lube’s record will stand forever!” Or do you go to Popular Mechanics to tell your side. And answer every question asked and make yourself available to any other mechanics rag to make sure they know you are clean. Do you really try and put on a “reality” show on the Speed Channel - the only media outlet that seems to ignore the rumors - that only makes you look like a self-absorbed baby? Or do you challenge all comers by putting your history – medical, professional, emotional – out there for all to see. At the bare minimum, don’t you fight? Don’t you hold the press conference and deny all the charges? Don’t you address the issue head on instead of accusing the press of hating you and trying to hurt your family, then making them sign a waiver to appear on your reality show?

See, to me, this is the problem. Where’s the indignation? Where’s the righteous anger? Where’s the public challenge for proof? And that leads me to that Giant elephant standing in the corner. If Barry really didn’t use steroids, why isn’t he declaring his innocence? Why didn’t he go after the Game of Shadows authors? Why isn’t he screaming from the rooftops, “I didn’t do steroids. I’m clean! Here are my medical records. They prove it. I will take a test weekly. I’ll allow MLB to release any of my samples from the last five years (assuming there are any). Take me for who I am. I deserve to be mentioned with Ruth and I’m going to challenge Aaron!” Instead, we get this ridiculous charade of a reality series and the obnoxious nightly Bonds Tracker.

So, let’s look at this from the other point of view. Assume that Barry Bonds took steroids between 1998 and 2004. There’s no MLB steroid policy, so getting caught isn’t a big concern. Besides, Bonds has the money to buy designer steroids that can beat the tests. So, he’s on the juice. Maybe I’m too quick to denigrate the villain Barry Bonds, but this just seems intuitive. Just looking at him, you can tell something is wrong. He’s different now than he was in the mid 90s. He’s got all the characteristics of the typical steroid abuser. He’s never tried to refute the claims in Game of Shadows. In fact, Bonds and his legal team only did one thing. They filed an injunction to try and have the publication of the book held up by saying the information used by the authors was obtained illegally. The judge that heard the case told the Bonds legal team that they were welcome to proceed, but that he felt the case had no chance. The suit was dropped and the Bonds camp has remained mute. Isn’t this somewhat of an admission by omission?

Now look at the 2004 and 2005 seasons and assume that Bonds had to stop taking steroids. If the government is really interested in catching Bonds in a lie based on his grand jury testimony in the BALCO case, then he probably knows that he can’t get the steroids right now. He’s being watched. So, he comes off the roids. 2005 is a wash because he is hurt. His body can’t recover like it could when he was getting help. 2006 starts and he’s cold from the beginning. He starts to warm up, but he’s still way off the pace he had in 2001-2003. He’s not the home run machine he used to be. He only has the freakish physique. Isn’t it rationale that the reason for the sudden increase – steroids helping his body – is the opposite for the sudden injury and decline – no more steroids? I know I’m not a medical expert, but I do believe the simplest explanation is usually the right explanation – and that seems as simple as it comes.

And, so, each night we endure the Bonds report. He went 0-2 with two walks in a Giant loss. We get updates on which games he might or might not be in for the next series – usually two of the three games in any series unless it’s going to be cold or wet or Wednesday. The inevitable is certainly near. He’s going to catch and pass Ruth. No pitcher wants to give up home runs, but having your name tied to Barry Bonds right now is a new level of shame. Frankly, I’ve never seen such excitement over someone going for number two since we were potty training our twins. We need to remember that Ruth, as great as his career was, does not hold the record. And that, if his health continues to decline, Bonds will never approach Aaron. Certainly that’s what Major League Baseball is hoping for. Only San Francisco and ESPN will celebrate the Ruth homers. The rest of us will have to wait and see. In five years, will Bonds be the new career home run record holder or will he be in year two of a seven year suspended sentence for lying to the grand jury? I’m sure Barry is hoping for the former, but I’m guessing he knows the latter is a possibility. But, for now, we just count. 713. . .713. . .713.

The race for 63! The Royals got all of our hopes up early this week by coming home and sweeping the Cleveland Indians. For some reason, they really have the Indians number right now with a 5-1 record against them. But they are now 5-24 against the rest of their schedule after getting swept by the Orioles in Baltimore. The same old Royals showed up on Sunday night. Carrying a 7-4 lead into the bottom of the ninth, Burgos walked the bases loaded. Baltimore scored four in the ninth to steal the win. The beat goes on for KC – but they do get to go to Cleveland next! Current record: 10-25. Projected record: 47-115.

The Wiz In Me

2006-05-08T10:37:00.000-07:00

I hope you can forgive me. I hope you can let it slide. I hope you can see past my mistakes and understand that I may have been blinded by homegrown biases and mainstream media attention. You see, I’ve been lying to you. I’ve been telling you for some time about the shambles that is Kansas City professional sports. I’ve been using this space as a platform to get the powers that be to change their ways, open their wallets, use their heads and bring us a winner. My focus all this time has been on two major teams and their performance in two major sports – football and baseball. And I’ve been so focused on my love for and frustration with these two teams, that I failed to notice that we do indeed have a team right here in KC that competes at the highest level in their sport. That’s right, it’s time for me to get behind the Kansas City Wizards.

“Who’s that?” you say? “The Kansas City Wizards?” No, the Wiz are not a new NBA or NHL franchise that you have never heard of. Neither are they champions at Dungeons and Dragons, though with a name like the Wizards, you might expect to see them in the next Harry Potter novel. The Kansas City Wizards play football. Or, more accurately, the Kansas City Wizards play futbol, and apparently, very well. Yes, the Kansas City Wizards, or the Wiz as they are called by the locals, are one of the stronger members of MLS – Major League Soccer.

Now, forgive me if I don’t know all the facts surrounding this team. In fact, forgive me if all I know about the Wizards is as follows: They play at Arrowhead Stadium; they once had former U.S. National Team goalie Tony Meola guarding their net; they are owned by the same family – the Hunt’s – that own the Chiefs; and they may have one a league championship in the last five years. I think I remember hearing that. I don’t know the names of the players. I don’t know how often they play. I don’t have any idea how long the season lasts or how much a ticket costs. But, here’s what I do know: they are competitive – pretty good, even – at the sport most loved by the vast majority of the world.

I don’t want to get into the whole soccer versus football debate. Though I admire the ability and stamina of soccer players, as a spectator, I prefer American rules football. I just do and that will most likely never change. I grew up before the massive boom in youth soccer leagues in the United States. Not much before, but early enough that when I played soccer in 2nd and 3rd grade, I still wore those double layer mesh jerseys – blue on one side and red on the other. No numbers. No sponsors. No piping or matching shorts. Every team had at least one kid that wore jeans to the games. Husky kids were defenders, fast kids were attackers. That’s about all I remember, except how boring it was to be the goalie against a team that you were creaming. Man, I could kick at dandelions with the best of them, waiting for the action to come my way. But, suffice it to say, in my two or three years of soccer at Holcolm Park, I never really picked up all the rules and definitely never fell in love with soccer.

But, all that’s about to change. I’m ready to join the billions of soccer fans around the world. I’m not necessarily giving up my standard sports, but I think I have room to add another team to my stable – especially if that team is actually capable of winning. And, why not? The Wiz are from Kansas City and I live in the Kansas City area. The Wiz play a professional sport and I love to watch professional sports. The Wiz ownership seem interested in more than just fleecing Kansas City and stuffing their pockets, and I’m tired of being fleeced and seeing my money go to people that already have enough money to buy small countries. Plus, their name is the Wiz! How can you beat that? I know it’s a play on the Wizard of Oz and all that, but the funny punch lines and slogans with a name like the Wiz are absolutely boundless – especially when another team in the league is the Fire and one of the major sponsors of MLS is Budweiser. You just can’t make that stuff up!

So, I’m jumping on the bandwagon – and it’s the perfect time to do it. The Wiz just had three players named to the 23-man U.S. World Cup team. That’s pretty impressive. I hear that they employ one of the best five or six players in the league – Eddie Johnson. Soccer is about to hit one of it’s peaks with World Cup play about to begin. And, best of all, the Wiz have “Kansas City” on the front of their jerseys. They are my hometown team and they actually have a shot at playing for a title. Not a Royals kind of shot where management tells you they are planning to be competitive in the next five years. Not an NFL kind of shot where every team has potential, but every fan can see the obvious flaws. The Kansas City Wizards could win the MLS title this year and no one inside the soccer community would be all that shocked. They are good! That’s something that has been missing from my professional sports watching life! "But wait," you say, "the Wiz is owned by the Hunts and you blast the Hunts for their dealings with the Chiefs!" Am I a hypocrite? Nope. The key here is that Clark Hunt, who runs the Wizards, is actually interested in Major League Soccer. He wants to be instrumental in the development of that league the same way his father was instrumental in the rise of the NFL. Simply put, ownership cares about the Wiz.

So, the Wiz can count me in. What can I do to help? Do I need to buy my own shin guards? Do you need someone that can shout “GOAAAAAAAAAAL!” at the top of his lungs? How about one of those crazy streakers running up and down the field with some internet gambling web-address tattooed on his back? I know I can contribute. Here are some slogans I’ve already come up with.

This Wiz is brought to you buy [fill in the blank of beverage sponsor]! (Okay, I may have stolen this one.)

Kansas City Wizards soccer. You’ve never had a Wiz like this.

Coming soon the Truman Sports Complex – an actual, real-life, not made up championship trophy!

See? I’m ready to roll!

The Race for 63! The Glass family is mad. Really mad. They expect results. They want to see some wins. They are going to make some changes. Great. After another long losing streak and coming within a game of the worst road start ever by a Major League Baseball team, there is an excellent chance that current G.M. Allard Baird will be fired this week. And I support that move. Baird’s original three-year plan is in year six. He’s not proven that he can evaluate talent and the Royals need to score big with the number one pick in the draft this year (and probably next year, too!). So, I agree that Baird’s time is up in Kansas City, no matter how much the local sports radio guys like him. But, if the Glass family really believes that this move is going to change the direction of the team, they’ve been up too late slashing prices at Wal-Mart. Until the mindset of the ownership group changes – or the ownership group itself changes – and we have an owner that isn’t trying to turn a profit, this team will continue to flounder. Running a Major League Baseball team is not about making money. It’s a community service. Spend some of that Wal-Mart cash to put a winner on the field and gate receipts, television deals and apparel sales will all increase. If you don’t understand that, sell the team. Current record: 7-22. Projected record: 40-122.

Dear Mr. Glass

2006-04-24T06:30:00.000-07:00

Dear Mr. Glass,

Look, we need to talk. I’ve been thinking about this for a while and it’s time for us to face facts and make some big decisions. It’s time for us to be truthful about how things have been going for the last few years. It’s time for us to take a serious look in the mirror and choose what we want for the future. You see, I think I’ve been pretty patient. I think I’ve looked the other way about a lot of things. I think I’ve listened to your words and I’ve really tried to believe them. But, after a lot of thought, plenty of frustration and more than a few sleepless nights, I’ve come to the conclusion that you are just not ever going to change.

Here are the facts, as I see them. You are the owner of a Major League Baseball team – the Kansas City Royals. I am a fan of that team. For the here and now, that means we are connected. In three of the last four years, that team has set franchise records for losses – all three in triple digits. With your team’s 4-13 start this year, you are well on your way to setting yet another record for futility. Based on this start, you are projected to go 41-121 this year. Yet, even though your team finished with the worst record in all of baseball last year and earned the number one pick in this year’s draft, you are one of only a few owners that actually made money in 2005. In fact, one publication indicates your operating income was more than $20,000,000 last year. To put that in perspective, that same publication indicates the New York Yankees lost $50,000,000 last year. However, the only reason you made money in 2005 is because you received $55,000,000 from the MLB central fund and from the revenue sharing plan currently in place. With a current combined salary of less than $45,000,000, you don’t have to pay a dime of your own money to put a team on the field. And despite these astounding figures, the citizens of Jackson County still saw fit to give you $275,000,000 for stadium renovations just to keep you at the Truman Sports Complex.

And that takes us to the product you are willing to put in front of the fans 162 times a year. You have yet to hire a coach with a winning record while with the Royals. The 2006 edition of the Royals has been swept in four of the six series they’ve played. Not just lost the series – SWEPT! Your general manager has tried to sell the same tired, old Three Year Plan song and dance since he got here six years ago. The product you put on the field is barely able to fill the stands and the franchise seems to be a permanent fixture in the bottom third of the league attendance marks. Let me know if I have missed anything!

Those are the facts, but what about the emotion. You see, Mr. Glass, you’ve sucked the joy out of Kansas City baseball. Since the Royals came to town in the late 60s, Kansas City has been supportive. The Kaufman family is revered here because of their love of the area and their efforts to put a winner on the field. They weren’t afraid to spend because, for Ewing Kaufman, owning a baseball team wasn’t about putting money back in his pocket. He had other business ventures to do that. Owning the Royals was about pride in the area and love of the game itself. And that was obvious in how he treated the team and the fans. There’s a reason his statue stands outside the stadium that bears his name – and why yours will most likely never join him.

I grew up watching the Royals battle the Yankees in the late 70s and early 80s. There were fights on my little league team over who would wear George Brett’s number 5 on their uniform. We watched in frustration as the Phillies beat us in 1980 for the World Series crown, than jumped up and down five years later as we knocked off the Cardinals for a World Series of our own. We cheered Brett, Frank White, John Wathan, Amos Otis, Willie Wilson, Bret Saberhagen, Kevin Seitzer, Mike MacFarland and so many others. We hurt for Willie as he battled drug problems. We laughed when Brett came charging out of the dugout in the Pine Tar Game. We cried when Dick Howser lost his battle with cancer. In the early 90s, we watched the unbelievable power and skill of Bo Jackson. I remember in high school going out to games during the week and grabbing G.A. seats in left field, then hanging over the wall during pitching changes because Bo would come over and talk with us. Going to the ballpark was one of the great places to hangout as friends or family. It was a place to be, then brag to your friends that you were at the game where Balboni hit that monster home run, where Quiz came on for another save, where Damon and Dye used speed and power to terrorize the other team.

What do we look forward to now? I think a co-worker of mine said it best the other day, “As long as they don’t lose every series. . .” That’s what we’ve come to? Hoping they can pull out a series win here or there? That makes me feel sick, sad and angry all at once. 200 miles down I-70, St. Louis has billed itself as Baseball Town, USA. They claim to have the greatest fans in the world and play in an amazing new ballpark. And every time I hear an announcer gush over the fun of watching baseball in St. Louis, there’s a part of me that believes they stole that title from us. But, we got duped. We got a new owner that ran one of the richest corporations in the world. He was loaded! Money would not be a problem. We’d be competitive. We’d bring another title to Kansas City. That owner vowed to move to Kansas City and run the team from here, instead of jetting back and forth in the company jet. But, it was all a lie. You had no intention of moving and money was always the object.

You are a business man and an excellent one, at that. I respect that. I work in the corporate world and Wal-Mart is the model to follow for maximizing income and cutting costs. And you’ve approached the Royals in the same way. For the last six years, Royals’ baseball hasn’t been focused on wins and losses. The focus from you and your family has always been the bottom line. You’ve cut payroll, raised prices and collected the handouts from Major League Baseball. You trade high salary for low salary, veterans for youth, excitement for stability. As a business model, your plan should be commended. But, in your haste to make sure the Kansas City Royals can turn a profit no matter what, you’ve overlooked one simple factor: By simply putting a competitive product on the field, you’d fill the stadium. Weekends would be sold out. People would be paying for parking, buying concessions, snatching up merchandise. The money would be rolling in.

You see, Mr. Glass, we want to support baseball in Kansas City. A couple of years ago, when Tony Pena’s Royals were mildly competitive into the later part of summer, the fans came out to the ballpark in droves. We wanted to see a team with a chance. We wanted to yell and cheer for Beltran, Randa and Sweeney and the others. It was fun. But, even then, you didn’t get it. Payroll got slashed and we started a new rebuilding phase the following year. And the losses started to grow.

Now, here we sit. We are the laughing stock of Major League Baseball. The Marlins might have more youth and a lower payroll, but they also have two World Series titles in the last ten years. No, people look at this once proud franchise and shake there heads in pity. Poor Royals fans. Another year of poor coaching, of weak talent, of no chance of winning. Talk radio began the season full of anger. But the anger is gone. It’s been replaced by disgust and resentment and that feeling you get when you know you don’t have a chance. My kids are young enough to root for the Royals because I do. I want them to fall in love with the Royals like I did. But, at the rate things are going right now, my kids are going to seek a winner. I’m afraid I’m raising Red Sox fans, Cardinal fans or, and it pains me to say this, Yankee fans.

Mr. Glass, you can change that. I don’t pretend to be the voice of the people. Not everyone may share my views. But, I think we can all support this one initiative. Mr. Glass, please step aside. Sell the Royals. Think of the time and the public relations headaches you would save? No more awkward visits to Kansas City when you’d rather be anywhere else. You’ve got plenty of money. You don’t need the Yankees and MLB to keep filling your pockets. Take up a hobby. See if you can win a BBQ contest in your true hometown – Bentonville, Arkansas. Go see a show in Branson. Spend some time at the Lake of the Ozarks. Play some golf on one of the many gorgeous courses down there. But, before you do any of that, please leave us alone. Consider this your unconditional release. We won’t be upset. Just walk away! Don’t keep tormenting us. Don’t keep claiming love for something we truly cherish. You’ve taken your shot and more than doubled your investment. It’s time to get out.

There are plenty of local investors that would love to own the Royals. Go to George Brett and ask him to lead a group that is ready to buy. Talk to Bud Selig about the importance of keeping the team in Kansas City. He’ll listen to you. Let him know that it is vital that the Kansas City Royals stay with an owner that is focused on winning. Let Major League Baseball put us to the test to see if we will support a competitive team. If we don’t, then we don’t deserve to have Major League Baseball here. But until there is a competitive product on the field, it won’t be a fair test.

Remember that silly old saying, “If you love something, set it free”? This is your chance to prove you love the Royals. Our relationship is irreparable. But you can do the honorable thing and leave us alone. You have all the leverage here. All I want is my baseball team back.

Sincerely,

Matt Karpowitz

The race for 63! The Royals finished off their road trip in extremely meek style, scoring only one run in a three game sweep to the White Sox. After dropping their eleventh straight to the Indians to start the home stand, they finally showed some backbone and some offense in taking the last two from Cleveland to finish the week 2-4. Current Record: 4-13.

Huggy Bear

2006-04-17T11:04:00.000-07:00

There’s an old saying that goes something like, “When you lay down with dogs, you may get fleas.” I know, that might not be exactly right, but it’s close. This saying should not be confused with other, commonly known mantras like, “Don’t mess with the bull, you’ll get the horns” or “Don’t buy anything from the trunk of a man named Moose.” Each of these offers good, common-sense advice and the overall meaning is true for all – there are some situations, places and people that should probably be avoided. And, if you choose not to avoid them, you need to accept the potential consequences. So, in a matter of speaking, you could say that when the Kansas State athletic department hired Bob Huggins to coach their men’s basketball team, they effectively bunked down in the doghouse, climbed into the bull’s paddock, opened up Moose’s trunk.

Now, I make no apologies in this space regarding my allegiance to Kansas Jayhawk basketball. From Clyde Lovellette and Wilt Chamberlain to Danny Manning and Paul Pierce, I am definitely a Jayhawk, through and through. But, truth be told, I want Kansas St. and the rest of the Big 12 to improve for one simple reason. If the Big 12 is better, than Kansas will have to be better to win. And, if Kansas is better, they will most likely have more post-season success. I just want to clear this up before I get accused of being a homer and just not liking Kansas State basketball or being jealous of their sudden – and somewhat uncomfortable – success. I’m not Wildcat hunting for fun. I believe the folks in Manhattan, Kansas, made a decision that has been made in athletic departments all around the country – and quite possibly to some degree in my beloved Lawrence, Kansas.

You see, the world of Division I men’s college basketball is more than its glossy, One Shining Moment exterior that CBS puts forth every March. There’s a definite underbelly out there and when you turn it over for a peek, you see it’s filled with AAU coaches acting as player agents, unauthorized visits and illegal benefits, shady tutoring and jobs for parents. These are the components of the dark and dreary world of the year round recruiting wars. Despite countless checks from the NCAA, these things have gone on for most of my lifetime. About 25 years ago, Kansas coach Larry Brown hired Ed Manning as an assistant on his staff. Ed’s 17 year old son, Danny, was a highly recruited power forward. Danny eventually committed to KU and led the Jayhawks to the 1988 NCAA title. Two years ago, Bill Self used the same technique with Mario Chalmers and his father. Illegal? Nope. Feels a bit unscrupulous? Absolutely.

I believe KU’s cross-state rivals in Manhattan got tired of being lumped in with the NCAA have-nots. So, when they fired underachieving, but perennial good-guy Jim Wooldrige last month, they had a decision to make: stay with the K-State norm of hiring a somewhat unproven up-and-comer with a spotless record or hire a proven winner and ignore the baggage. There were five or six potential candidates in the first category, but only one that really mattered in the second – former Cincinnati coach Bob Huggins.

I have never met Bob Huggins. The only exposure I have to him involve sideline tantrums, press conferences explaining player arrests, disturbing charges and video regarding his drinking and driving, and the standard early flameouts from the NCAA tournament. However, for some reason, Huggins has an incredible rapport with young, often troubled, high school basketball stars that see themselves playing in the NBA. For whatever reason, these guys love Bob Huggins and want to play in his offense. The man is a recruiting machine and as his name surfaced for several jobs this spring, the underlying feeling was the same: if you hire Bob Huggins, you are going to rocket up the recruiting standings almost immediately. Maybe it was too much to pass up for the Wildcats. After years of being overshadowed by the Jayhawks, they had a chance to make a splash and get really good really quick. So, they hired Bob Huggins.

Already, the team is changing. The best unsigned player in America – a 7’3” center from Florida, signed with the Wildcats on Wednesday. Manhattan could soon be the home of another seven foot center or the best point guard coming out of the JUCO ranks. What’s more, if the collection of kids claiming allegiance to Huggins all commit to K-State in next year’s recruiting class, the 2007-08 Wildcats should be a pre-season top 10 basketball team. I’m not saying that will happen for sure, because I do believe, for a 17 year-old boy, there is a big difference between being recruited to Cincinnati – a relatively large city – and recruiting to Manhattan, Kansas – in the middle of the farm belt. It may be a tough sell, but if there’s any salesman who can do it, it’s Bob Huggins.

So, what is the tradeoff for Kansas State University, it’s athletic department and its fans? Potentially, there are no tradeoffs. Potentially, Huggins has overcome his demons and will not have any problems. The standard line from K-Staters on talk radio these past few weeks has been unabashed excitement at being lumped with the college basketball blue-bloods combined with this head-in-the-sand qualifier – “He hasn’t done anything wrong here, yet!” And it’s true. There is no evidence that Huggins has done anything improper in the recruitment of the kid from Florida or with any other of the five star recruits that seem to want to call him their coach. His contact with them stopped when he was hired except for that which is allowed within the confines of the NCAA rules.

But, there are two sides to potential and the Wildcats must acknowledge that as good as things might go, there is potential for them to turn out equally as bad. Manhattan, Kansas is a long way from some of the big city playgrounds and gyms these kids are playing at today. Where will they go to have the fun they are used to? Aggieville, Salina, Topeka? Nope. Those kids will be looking for parties as far away as Kansas City. What if one or two of these guys have the off-the-court troubles exemplified by some of Huggins’ players at Cincinnati – the worst of which resulted in kidnapping, weapons and drug charges? What if Huggins – who never showed any remorse over his DUI conviction – encounters the same issues on the streets of Manhattan? Are the Wildcat faithful going to be able to justify it by saying, “Yeah, but our team is favored to win the Big 12 this year!” Will that be enough? Is Huggins serious about Manhattan or is he looking for a stepping stone to revive his reputation so he can go somewhere with a bigger budget and an easier recruiting sell? And, the biggest question of all – can Huggins actually deliver at crunch time? No matter his abilities in recruiting, he’s not proven himself as a great tournament coach. Will simply making the field be enough at K-State or will the desire for more continue to grow? I speak from recent experience – early exits are painful.

My point is this: if we are going to extol the virtues of this decision and the opportunity for serious college basketball success that non-traditional Division I powerhouses seek, let’s not ignore the trade off that comes with the same decision. My soap box today is as the moral conscience for the Wildcats and they definitely need to ask themselves, “Is this really the path we want to take?” Stop pretending that Huggins past is lilly-white or that his future is without serious questions! It shouldn’t all be roses in Manhattan, nor at just about any other high-profile athletic department.

They call NCAA football and basketball the money sports for a reason. As much as they are about athletic accomplishments, they are about the revenue generated as a business. Gone are the days of playing for the hometown team and love of the game. That Bob Huggins could get a job just a year after the things that happened at the University of Cincinnati is all the proof we need to know that we’ve entered an era of college sports hedonism – if it feels good, do it, no matter what the consequences. But, like life as a whole, that “live on the edge” attitude does have potential costs, and the fleas that may be hiding under the surface will definitely bite.

The Race for 63! The Royals had a chance to get this nine game road trip off to a great start on Tuesday. But, after a ridiculous decision by manager Buddy Bell to pull a hot pitcher in the 8th, the club promptly gave up five runs, the lead and the game. They ended up getting swept by the Yankees, then heading to Tampa Bay and getting the same treatment from the Devil Rays. That’s right, not a single “W” this week. Current record: 2-9.

Stadium Paranoia

2006-04-10T09:55:00.000-07:00

If there’s one thing I know about sports, it’s that there is one issue that every fan dreads more than an any other – even more than a season so bad that entire blooper DVDs can be devoted to their play in the field – it’s the all-powerful stadium issue. No professional franchise is immune. This single issue can drive a wedge between fans and ownership faster than Lindsey Lohan can change boyfriends. The words “new stadium” or “upgraded facilities” or “additional luxury accommodations” can make the heart of any fan freeze in their chest when spoken by a local owner. And for good reason! In this 21st Century world of nomadic Fortune 500 sports owners, we all know that loyalty and community are only words spoken at end of the year banquets and in United Way commercials. When it come to stadiums, most owners seem to be looking for the biggest potential revenue stream, the lowest potential hit to their wallet and the greatest number of tax breaks and luxury boxes. And, with the possible exception of the publicly owned Green Bay Packers, no team is immune. That’s right, no team.

The issue of stadium generated revenue seems to play the loudest in small market Major League Baseball towns. But, you probably already figured that out since I am taking the time to write about it in this space and since Royals’ baseball (new slogan, “It’s mediocre!”) is here again and since nothing seems to get me riled up like Kansas City ownership asking for more tax-payer paid perks while fielding a team that would have trouble winning the California Penal League, never mind the A.L. Central. And, yet for the last six weeks, Kansas City sports pages and radio talk shows have been debating the merits of a nine-figure stadium renovation project that would benefit both Kaufman and Arrowhead Stadiums, as well as a pie-in-the-sky rolling roof proposal that might land a Super Bowl for the city.

First, a brief and somewhat accurate history for all of you who have never been to a game at either Kaufman or Arrowhead. The two stadiums are located side-by-side in the middle of a wide expanse of land now known as the Harry S. Truman Sports Complex. The Sports Complex is an asphalt prairie nestled in the armpit of Interstates 435 and 70. The best thing the complex has going for it is space, the vast majority of which is filled with parking areas. One thing is for sure, unless, by some fluke, both the Chiefs and the Royals were playing on the same day, you are almost guaranteed a parking space that is within a half-mile of your seat.

The address of the Sports Complex is in Kansas City, Missouri. However, when at the Sports Complex, you could be in Sioux City and it wouldn’t make any difference. There’s nothing else around except a loan Taco Bell about a mile’s walk away. Kansas City, Missouri is in Jackson County and the Truman Sports Complex was built by and is owned by the government of Jackson County. The stadiums opened in the early 70s, Arrowhead in 72, Kaufman – then Royals Stadium – in 1973. So, the Complex is my age, which will soon become relevant. Jackson County leases the stadiums to the two sports franchises and the leases guarantee the teams will stay in Kansas City as long as Jackson County holds up their end of the lease – one stipulation of which is that the County will keep the stadiums modern and up-to-date – an ambiguous idea with no real detail behind it, at best. This, too, will soon become relevant.

Now, I have several friends and co-workers that live in Jackson County, and, despite the incredibly poor treatment of my Mormon ancestors in the 1840s, I don’t really have anything against Jackson County. I like to go there for their cheap gas. I drive through it to get to St. Louis. There are several historically significant religious sites that are enjoyable to visit – with more to come in the future. However, I do have serious reservations about the Jackson County Sports Authority – the government arm that operates the Sports Complex. You see, the one essential role of the Sports Authority is to make sure the county is compliant with the leases so that the teams cannot bail out if the county fails to do its part. Over the last 30 years, hundreds of millions of dollars have been given to the Sports Authority to make sure that this doesn’t happen.

So, what happened? With nine years remaining on their current leases, the unthinkable has happened. The stadiums have gotten old. They are having plumbing issues, the beating they take after any event is clearly visible, and they are far from state of the art. In a word, they are me. You see, I, too, am getting old. My plumbing is not what it once was. An evening of basketball means several days of muscle aches. I enjoy 80s hair bands far to much to ever again be considered state of the art. The biggest difference between me and the Truman Sports Complex? I haven’t had millions of dollars worth of tax payer money handed out for my upkeep and improvement. I guarantee you, if I had, I’d be as modern and up to date as (fill in the name of some really cool band. Maybe try Google for hints.)

So, even though Jackson County told all of us that they would make sure the stadiums were in good shape when they put their signature on the lease, they haven’t kept up their end of the bargain. They don’t have enough money left from the last lease agreement and tax increase to make the needed updates. So, the Royals and Chiefs could conceivably void the remainder of the leases and start shopping for a new home. Now, let me be clear, neither team has made any overt threat to leave. Their new home shopping could be in Las Vegas, Portland or Los Angeles, but it could just as easily, and perhaps even more likely, be right here in the Kansas City area. Maybe not Jackson County, but the city has developed on the Kansas side to the west and to the south and there are several areas locally that would like to make a run for one if not both of the teams. Not to mention, the fact that Kansas City, Missouri and Jackson County could keep one or both teams by building stadiums downtown – a proposal that could revitalize downtown businesses and capitalize on the Missouri river that cuts through Kansas City and is such a distinctive part of the character of the city itself.

But, Jackson County didn’t want to do that. They didn’t want to lose “their teams” – a rather boorish and short-sighted idea that the teams are more theirs than ours – those of us that grew up on the Chiefs and the Royals and have supported them our entire lives, but happen to live in Johnson County or Cass County or Wyandotte County. So, a new proposal was presented a few months ago that would renovate the stadiums, extend the teams’ commitment to the Sports Complex another 25 years and only cost $425 million of tax-payer money to do so. With an additional $25 million from the Glass family – who own the Royals – and $75 million from Chiefs’ owner Lamar Hunt, the proposal would repair the wiring and plumbing in the stadiums, add restrooms, widen concourses, add a Hall of Fame for each team, build a house for the Royals’ mascot – Slugger – and add restaurants in a “Taste of Kansas City” type open area. A second proposal was placed on the ballot to put a rolling roof over the two stadiums that could cover Kaufman, roll to a pavilion area between the stadiums, or roll a little farther and cover Arrowhead. The roof price-tag was $200 million. And it came with a guarantee from the NFL that if passed and built, would bring the 2013 Super Bowl to Kansas City.

So, last Tuesday, Jackson County voters went to the polls and ignored the last 30 years of mismanagement by the Jackson County Sports Authority. Question one passed and the taxes will be collected, the renovations made, Slugger will be given a new home. The space-age rolling roof did not pass, but the Sports Authority immediately went on delay mode and will attempt to get it back on the ballot in December. And, after much debate, the Chiefs and Royals will remain at the Sports Complex until 2031 or until Jackson County defaults on the new lease. And, despite my obvious skepticism, I will continue to support them. I will pay the use tax when I buy tickets and pay for parking. I will go to games, walk through the Hall of Fame, even take my kids to Slugger’s new digs.

However, and maybe you could tell, I’m not all that happy with the outcome. You see, all the voters of Jackson County have done is delayed the inevitable. In 25 years, the teams are not going to be willing to stay at the Sports Complex. In 2031, the stadiums and I will be nearly 60 years old. Now, I will most likely be struggling with bad joints and gray hair and wrinkles. Sports teams, like the athletes that play for them, are perpetually in their mid-20s to 30s. They always want the best and the most luxurious. So, they’ll look at their aging partnership with Arrowhead and Kaufman stadiums, they’ll see the wrinkles and the sagging and the age beneath the makeup and they’ll be ready to move on. They’re not going to stay with something 60 years old. Let’s just hope my wife doesn’t feel the same way!

You see, in the long run, if we really want to keep the Royals and the Chiefs in Kansas City, we’re going to have to build new stadiums. The Truman Sports Complex was innovative and unique when it was built. But professional sports found a new business model and it isn’t a sea of concrete with parking spaces and a stadium or two sitting in the middle. That might work for the Chiefs, where tailgaiting before and after a game will keep fans coming. And, maybe Arrowhead will stay where it is if they bulldoze Kaufman and build a new Arrowhead there. But, maybe the Chiefs look for greener pastures in Kansas City, Kansas out by the Kansas Motor Speedway. Would that really be such a bad thing? I’ve spent all my life driving 30 to 45 miles to go to the Sports Complex. Will Jackson County residents no longer support the Chiefs if they move across the river? I can’t believe that would happen.

As for the Royals, the answer will someday be a downtown stadium. Major League Baseball teams play 81 home games a year. Baseball is played at a more leisurely pace than any other professional sport besides golf. Fans want something else to do on their way to and from the ballpark. They need restaurants and clubs, night spots and music. They need something more than a “Taste of Kansas City” and a Taco Bell across the parking lot. It’s time for all of us, no matter what county we’re from, to come to grips with the fact that if the Royals are going to stay in Kansas City, it will eventually need to be in a brand new stadium down by the river. No promises of All-Star Games and Super Bowls under a rolling roof will ever change that. For now, Jackson County has closed its eyes to its past of poor management and fiscal irresponsibility. Now it’s avoiding the gaze of the future like a seventh grade boy sitting firmly against the wall at a junior high dance. You had the chance to get up, cross the room and sweep the girl off her feet, Jackson Countians. You’d just better hope she’s still interested in you in 25 years!

The Race for 63! In their quest to avoid being the second team in history to lose 100 or more games in three consecutive seasons, the Royals got off to a rocky start by blowing two games against the Tigers while the aforementioned stadium vote was underway. But, the team got some respect back over the weekend by taking two of three from the World Champion White Sox. Current record: 2-3.

I'm Back!

2006-04-03T06:06:00.000-07:00

To paraphrase the great Jimmy Chitwood - I think it’s time for me to start playing ball again. Granted, I don’t have Indiana high school basketball super-coach Norman Dale to hound me about shooting over ladders or running the picket fence. But, nonetheless, I’m ready to make my triumphant – or at least mediocre – return to blogging. Now, hopefully, I can remember my password so I can actually post this article online.

I took some time off. Maybe it was the lack of enthusiasm for winning fostered by the Kansas City Chiefs. Maybe I didn’t want to jinx my beloved Jayhawks during what turned out to be a surprisingly solid season. Maybe it was the fact that it was the off-season for the Royals and nothing gets my blood boiling like the Kansas City front office trying to get people excited about AAA baseball in Kansas City. Or, maybe it was because it’s taken me a good five months to get comfortable in my new job and, until recently, I haven’t even wanted to look at a computer when I wasn’t at work. Whatever the reason, what’s done is done and I think it’s time for me to start writing again. Hopefully, I haven’t driven my fives and tens of faithful readers away. If I have, I hope you’ll take me back and give me another opportunity to get riled up about small market sports. Because, as Jimmy Chitwood told Coach Dale and the rest of his Hoosier teammates at the end of the big game, “I’ll make it.”

Last night, the 2006 Major League Baseball season started off with the World Champion Chicago White Sox taking on the Cleveland Indians. Those two teams are the pre-season favorites to compete for the American League Central title. Rounding out the bottom of that same division will most likely be my very own hometown Kansas City Royals. In fact, here in KC, this season doesn’t have anything to do with competing for the wildcard or even getting back to the .500 mark. At Kaufman Stadium, the big question is, can the Royals avoid becoming the second team ever and the first team in more than fifty years to lose 100 games three seasons in a row? It’s the race for 63 – not much to get your blood pumping and your wallet out as you head for the ballpark.

So, whether it’s an aging journeyman outfielder heading the free agent signees or the incredibly insulting and ridiculous stadium renovation project being voted on later this week, I’m guessing I’ll have plenty of time to comment on the shortcomings of the Royals this season. But, for MLB, the picture isn’t so bleak. From Seattle to Tampa Bay, from San Diego to Boston, the 2006 season is being hailed as the beginning of a new era. Dead and gone is the so-called Steroid Era, crushed to death by Congress and BALCO and Jose Canseco. Those images are being replaced by a younger, faster, more competitive game. Ticket sales are up, coming close to the 1998-99 levels when McGwire and Sosa swept the country on their own personal super-sized, not quite all-natural home run parade. New stars are rising with stats based not on the long ball, but instead on batting average and on-base percentage. With clubs getting comfortable with salary cap issues and team-first attitude, competitive balance is at an all-time high.

But, before we start patting ourselves on the back and handing out asterisks for would be records, we shouldn’t forget the remainders of the Steroid Era that still hang over the game. Former U.S. Senator George Mitchell is leading an investigation into steroid use that will most likely center on recently published details about the steroid use of Barry Bonds, among others. And, perhaps of greater concern to Major League Baseball, Bonds continues to play and, if his health holds up, will most likely pass Babe Ruth’s career home run mark this hear and Hank Aaron’s next year. How will the league in general and Bud Selig’s commissioner’s office in particular respond to Bonds’ continued assault on the record book? Do they celebrate it or ignore it? Do they condone his past accomplishments, hiding behind the farce that he was never caught breaking any of MLB’s steroid rules simply because there were no rules to break? Or, do they go hard-line and refuse to acknowledge Bonds’ home runs because they are more tainted than the Clinton White House? Only time will tell.

With the game changing and a policy in place that ought to actually curb steroid use, Major League Baseball wants the Steroid Era to be a thing of the past. And it will forever be remembered in the images of five men – baseball giants that crumbled under the pressure of the public eye and the glare of exposure when their actions – either accused or admitted – hit the front pages. Four of these five men came together in front of Congress last year. Their words, or lack thereof, were ridiculed for weeks on talk shows and in sports columns. And now, instead of remembering them for their on-field heroics, they will be remembered as jokes – caricatures of themselves.

It all started with Jose Canseco. When his book, Juiced, was released last year, he was lampooned as a buffoon – a disgraced slugger throwing his former teammates under the bus in a flagrant attempt to get back in the spotlight. But, despite some obvious inaccuracies, Canseco stood by his story. He took steroids, admitted it, and named names about who else in the majors was getting some unnatural help. His reputation was so bad, that when that strange day in front of Congress came, Canseco was ostracized by the other players. Now, things have changed. Once the fool, Canseco has emerged as the hero in this sordid saga. Like the old Mormon-ad that had my friends teasing me as a boy, Canseco can stand up tall after admitting to breaking the window and sing, “I told the truth!” This was an extraordinary turn of events – rivaling Donald Trump’s current popularity. Jose Canseco will go down in history as the HONEST one.

Sitting in the same room with Canseco in front of Congress was the one no one had really considered until the book came out – Texas and Baltimore slugger Raphael Palmeiro. He was strong. He was decisive. He had 3,000 hits and was approaching 500 home runs in a career that, though not spectacular, seemed strong and consistent. But none of those accomplishments will be remembered as much as what he did in front of Congress: he wagged that finger and swore that he had not taken steroids. After the hearing, Palmeiro came out looking like a prince. He was unimpeachable. He spoke his mind and told off those glory-seeking congressmen. His career wasn’t steroid enhanced! Then, the unthinkable – the man who scolded Congress for questioning his accomplishments tested positive for steroids. Suddenly, he was the laughing stock. He was the one being ridiculed. And he will forever be remembered as the LIAR.

Next came the FOOL. As much as it pains me to say this, that role belongs to the one and only Slammin’ Sammy Sosa. Sammy was vital to the resurgence of baseball during the late 90s. He hit home runs at an alarming rate, his hop up the first baseline becoming a nightly fixture on Sportscenter. In the summer of ’98, Sammy joined Mark McGwire as the public face of baseball. He was personable. He was funny. He sprinted to the outfield at the beginning of every game. And he was always available for a funny comment and a big smile. But, suddenly, when steroid questions came up, Sammy forgot how to speak English. He had the audacity to attend the hearings with an interpreter. He couldn’t explain himself because he couldn’t speak the language. But the gambit didn’t work. Everyone knew Sammy could speak English. Everyone knew that Sammy simply didn’t want to answer the questions. And his ridiculous attempt at evasiveness was effectively the end of his career.

Sammy’s foil in that home run crazy ’98 season was Mark McGwire. Big Mac had retired as a St. Louis hero. Everyone loved him. He could do no wrong. Who would ever forget him crossing the plate and picking up his son or hugging Sosa after he broke Maris’ record? He changed the game and shattered marks no one thought could be broken. McGwire had a specific game plan when he came to Congress, most likely dictated by no promise of immunity. The one-time-sure-Hall-of-Famer’s perfect defense? Refuse to talk about the past. The future is all that matters. He’s only looking forward. He was loved and embraced by a city and, to some extent, a nation. We all were willing to look past the suddenly hulking physique, the obvious acne, even the Andro in the locker if only we could see one more towering drive into the bleachers. But, Canseco pointed directly at him in the pages of his book – even describing injecting McGwire while with the A’s. And, with Canseco’s testimony part of the public record, McGwire couldn’t risk unprotected incrimination and became, in a word, PATHETIC.

So that leaves one more player, a literal home run Giant, and the only of the five that was somehow allowed to escape the grasp of Congress – at least, so far: the one and only Barry Bonds. Canseco’s book brought up the steroid issue for Bonds, but these were all questions he had heard and ignored before. He never played with Canseco and there was no proof in Juiced that pointed to Bonds. However, Canseco’s book was followed by another one – written by two San Francisco journalists – and this one really brought the heat. Game of Shadows specifically details Bonds’ alleged steroid use and abuse. The book paints him as a jealous, mean and deceptive figure, only out for his own glory. The suspicions were everywhere – the remarkable change in his size, the inflated power numbers at an age when most careers where in decline, the “best friend” who was a known steroid distributor. But Major League Baseball and the San Francisco Giants stayed silent. No matter if you liked him or not, Bonds was the home run king and a celebration befitting royalty would be required when that king overtook Ruth and Aaron. But, suddenly, the tide of public opinion swelled. People couldn’t believe this man would be allowed to stand in front of the two greatest sluggers that ever lived. Now, what would Selig do when the records started falling? When things started to get serious, I’m guessing MLB honchos started hoping that Bonds’ injuries would keep him off the field for good. But they haven’t and with Bonds planning to play this year, Selig was forced to act. An investigation has been opened. Bonds is in the crosshairs. The outcome, the records, the asterisks are still in question. However, even though this appellation describes all five figures, Bonds is now the villain of the steroid era and will be known forever as the CHEAT.

So, there you have it. Baseball is doing all they can to get out from under this enormous shadow – the frighteningly massive noggin of Barry Bonds. And it will be billed as a year of renewal, of excitement, of honest competition. Players will value gap power because they don’t want to be questioned for hitting too many balls out of the park. Pitchers may not go as many innings without the ability to recover as quickly with a little help. And these are good things. I’m excited about the season. I’m excited about the prospects of the sixth new World Series champ in six years. I’m excited to watch closer games. And, perhaps more than anything, I’m excited to see how the fans, the players and the league responds if Bonds hits number 715. It will be a stark reminder that the Steroid Era is not quite gone. And we will have a front row seat to one of the most sordid affairs in sports history – all the while just hoping the Royals can go 63-99!

A Fan's Predicament

2005-11-18T08:13:00.000-08:00

Who is your real favorite team? No, don’t list them by sport. Who’s the real favorite – the one that takes precedence over all others? We all have our one true favorite, though we may not want to admit it. We secretly dread when they play on television because we know we’ll be miserable until the score is final – and even longer if they lose. However, when they’re not on TV, we are constantly checking the score on the Internet or trying to tune in the radio broadcast on the AM dial. When we talk to friends that don’t share our passion for them, we fear we will go over the edge and enforce our opinion with Bruce Lee-like fists of fury, or at least a muttered curse word followed by a wicked stare-down. We are secretly superstitious that we are somehow able to jinx our team, be it how we sit, what we wear, the thoughts we think or even when we go to the bathroom while they play.

Hopefully, we don’t feel this way about every team we root for, because that may not be entirely healthy. But there is probably one team that stands out in our heads and our hearts. It’s easy to figure out which team makes you feel this way – just ask yourself this simple question: If you had to trade 100 years of losing seasons for all your favorite teams in all the different sports except for one, but that one team would win the next championship in their sport, which team would you choose?

The answers may be different for everyone. I have a brother-in-law who would trade everything short of the health and safety of his wife and child for a BCS Championship for the BYU Cougars. One of my best friends from college lives and dies with the Utah Jazz, enduring the mind-numbing, heart breaking pain of seeing them come so close before losing to Michael Jordan’s Bulls in the late 90s. We’ve spent the last year reading about the personal fulfillment of the likes of Stephen King, Bill Simmons and countless others after the Boston Red Sox’ 2004 World Series triumph, because no matter how many banners lined the rafters of the Boston Garden or the outer rim of Gillette Stadium, the one they truly wanted could only be raised at Fenway Park. So, these kinds of allegiances to one “special” team are not new, nor are they anything to be ashamed of. We’ve all got them.

And for me? The answer is simple: All my other “favorites” could finish last for years to come if only I could see the Kansas Jayhawks cutting down the nets at the end of the Final Four. You see, I’ve made no secret of the fact that I love the Kansas City Royals. (By the way, I think the Royals took the above challenge seriously, not having sniffed the post season since the early 90s. The only problem is none of my other teams have won, either!) I commit major league baseball bigamy because of my lifelong affair with the Chicago Cubs. A Chiefs loss on Sunday can put me in a sour mood for the rest of the day. I want my alma mater, the Cougars of BYU, to return to national prominence and make a run for the BCS bowls. But, in truth, each of those teams could become perennial cellar dwellers if I could be guaranteed the opportunity to see Bill Self and his team parading down Massachusetts Street in early April.

I was 14-years old the last time it happened, in 1988. I remember watching Kevin Pritchard, Archie Marshall, Scooter Berry and the immortal Danny Manning leading the way to victory with Larry Brown and his huge glasses watching from the bench. I still get chills when I see highlights from that season. My wife rolls her eyes every time I point out Danny sitting behind the bench in his current role with the Jayhawks. I remember the euphoria, the party that spread from the campus to downtown Lawrence to 23rd Street that night – people honking horns, splashing in the fountain, running through the streets. It was amazing. I’ve always regretted the fact that my older brother was out of the country when Danny and the Miracles won it all. He didn’t get to see it. There’s a small part of me that wants the Jayhawks to win so he can experience that joy firsthand. But, to be honest, that’s only a small part of me. The selfish part just wants it for me.

So, with the 2005-06 NCAA basketball campaign underway and a young and promising Jayhawks squad ready to tip off, I’m prepared again for a season filled with the highest highs and the lowest lows. This edition of the Jayhawks is ready to erase the memory of last year’s shocking first round loss to Bucknell and an off-season to forget. They aren’t expected to win the Big 12 and will most likely need an at-large bid to the tournament in March. But that doesn’t matter to me when I’m watching them play. For me, each game is a mini-drama. I get nervous about any lead that is smaller than the number of minutes remaining in the game. When my kids were babies, I would rock them while I watched, hoping they wouldn’t wake up so that I wouldn’t have to change positions. I seek out any advantage I can find, convinced that my little actions will affect the shot selection and three-point percentage of my team.

You see, I probably take KU basketball a little too seriously. One of my wife’s biggest pet peeves is people who refer to their favorite team with the pronouns “we” or “our”. You’re not on scholarship, the team doesn’t send you a paycheck, Nike doesn’t spring for your shoes. You’re not a player, a coach or even an athletics department employee. Now, I’ll admit that, especially in college sports, if you are a high level “contributor”, it’s easy to consider yourself part of the team. You paid for the jumbotron, you’re allowed a vote. However, the vast majority of us don’t fall into that category.

Here’s the thing. For many of us, when we’re dealing with that “special” team, we really feel we have a say in their success or failure. When my team holds on for a close win while I make sure my right foot is tapping to the beat of “Lola” by The Kinks, I know I contributed to the victory. When the Jayhawks blow a ten point lead right after I have to help a three-year old use the potty, I’m certain it is somehow my fault. But, it’s that kind of impaired mentality that makes fans everywhere lament when “we” didn’t go for it on fourth down or start the runners on a 2-2 count or switch to a zone defense, and now we are saddled with a loss to an obviously inferior team.

Now, I have to admit, I’ve gone farther than just the simple mental games that help bleed off the stress from the opening tip to the final buzzer. Some of these things are fairly harmless. In 1997, I wore the same pair of shorts every time I watched them play, even wearing my fabled “Jayhawk shorts” under a pair of jeans while watching at a friend’s house. The next year, I committed an even more egregious crime. My heavily favored Jayhawks had just lost to Lamar Odum’s Rhode Island team in the second round of the NCAA tournament. At the time, my wife was my girlfriend and she had another friend, who we’ll call Jeff, who decided to have a laugh at my expense. A few choice words later and Jeff didn’t come around anymore. Now, I believe that Jeff was really just hanging around because he wanted to date my wife, but I certainly let my own emotions get the better of me – and all because my team couldn’t win a simple game, even though they had the most talent in the country that year. Heck, even right now, I get more frustrated thinking about that game than I do thinking about the confrontation that followed. Is there something wrong with me?

The answer is no, though there may be some room for a little anger management. The point is we all have these weak spots for a certain team. Now, I’m not saying that our blind devotion to a sports team should make it okay for us to lash out at the friends of our loved ones. I am saying that, as the seasons change and “that team” starts playing, it’s entirely possible that we will exhibit some of these obsessive-compulsive tendencies. Please bear with us. Please don’t make fun of us. And, whatever you do, don’t ask us to stop tapping our foot. If I can just get to the chorus before the next television timeout, the Jayhawks are sure to win! Lola. . . La La La La Lola. . . .

One final note. I friend recently suggested sending out an email notice when this site is updated. If you are interested in that, please send your email address to Karpy73@gmail.com. No charge for you early bird subscribers!

A Whole Lot of Nothing I

2005-11-04T11:51:00.000-08:00

I wasn’t moved this week. That’s all there is to it. I looked and looked for something that would inspire me to write a complete column that I could post on this space. What did I come up with? Nada. Nothing. Zip. Zilch. But, that’s okay. That allows me to introduce a new feature, called “A Whole Lot of Nothing”. These are simply random thoughts about different things. They won’t be interrelated. It won’t be the normal flow. To me, each of these thoughts are free-standing, but I just don’t have enough to create a full column out of them. So, enjoy and feel free to chime in with how you feel. In the meantime, go ahead and click on the link at the top of the page. You’ll be glad you did. (In reality, unless it’s an ad where you win a million dollars, I’ll be glad you did probably more than you. I believe in truth in advertising! However, if you do win a million dollars, I want a cut!)

1. The Major League Baseball playoffs

I promised no more musings about the Kansas City Royals until next year, and I am going to be true to that promise. In fact, that should be pretty simple since I’m talking about the playoffs and the Royals haven’t sniffed the post-season since the early 90s.

I was much happier when the playoffs finished up on ESPN and moved to FOX full time and I’ll tell you why – Joe Morgan. I respect the fact that Morgan played 2nd Base for many years in the majors. I respect the fact that he was a very good player. (Contrary to popular belief, I refuse to admit Morgan was the greatest 2nd Baseman of all time. That appellation belongs to a certain recent Hall of Fame inductee who played at Wrigley and wore number 23.) Anyway, why is it that, every third sentence Morgan speaks during a broadcast must include some reference to the fact that Joe used to play major league baseball? Is it in his contract? Or does he just think that his career was the benchmark against which all other events in major league baseball must be compared? And, more importantly, how does Jon Miller not strangle him? Joe, we get it. You played major league baseball. Enough already.

By the way, congratulations to the White Sox and their fans. Now, unlike those whiney fans in Boston, I don’t want to hear any more complaining. You got your championship. Your ownership is willing to spend enough money to let you compete. Remember the vast majority of major league baseball fans know in mid-March that their team is not going to be hoisting the trophy.

2. The National Football League

Contrary to popular belief promoted by NFL broadcasters and sports writers who are “in the know”, Patriots coach Bill Belichick is not the smartest man in the world. He coaches football. He hasn’t found the cure for cancer. Heck, he’s only been really good with 50% of the teams he’s coached. If he is such a genius, why didn’t the Browns win the Super Bowl while he was in Cleveland? It’s more than just one coach, guys. And, in case you haven’t noticed, the Patriots are barely surviving in a really weak division this year. So let’s stop acting like the Nobel committee needs to make a stop in Foxborough.

Frankly, this argument goes for Teddy Bruschi, too. The doctors said he could play and I respect that. But, let’s not get too excited about what he’s doing. He’s a football player. He’s not fighting in Iraq, or some other hot, nasty, dangerous place. The recent FedEx Ground commercials featuring NFL players are great. You know the ones, some office work shipping problem comes up and so someone throws out a football analogy and Jerome Bettis or Joe Montana runs in and says not to take the football analogies too far and just use FedEx ground. Good stuff. The NFL needs to apply that to the Bruschi situation. He’s a football player guys. Ease up.

3. The beginning of the NBA season

I’ve watched parts and pieces of a couple of games so far this season. My reaction? One giant yawn. Every year, I go through the same routine with the NBA. I try to get excited. I try to pick a team to follow. I say to myself, “I am really going to try and enjoy the NBA this year.” But it just doesn’t happen. Why? The vast majority of games are unbelievably boring to watch on television. Isolation. Shoot. Brick. Rebound. Fast break. Defense recovers. Isolation. Shoot. Brick.

Now, every once in a while, you’ll see a player take over a game – like LeBron James or Dwayne Wade or someone else. That’s pretty exciting, but it usually only lasts a few minutes of one quarter. The only offense worth watching last year was in Phoenix, but they are struggling to find their groove this year with Amare Stoudamire hurt. So, we are one-forty-first of the way through the regular season, and I’m ready to throw in the towel. Thanks, NBA. See ya next year!

4. The BCS

I’m a playoff guy. Always have been. I think, if you’re going to crown a champion, it ought to be definitive. In college football, the bowl system and the new and improved BCS is anything but definitive. It’s a muddled mess of great teams that will never get a chance to face each other, so they all pat themselves on the back and say they are number one, but the truth of it is, we may never know.

Right now, there is potential for four teams to finish the season undefeated. USC, UCLA, Texas, Virginia Tech and Alabama have not lost. USC and UCLA play each other in December, so one of those two will have a loss. But four teams could claim to be number one when the bowl invitations come out. In fact, I'm rooting for this to happen. The Bowl Championship Series is designed to establish who the best two teams in the land are so that they can play in the “National Championship” game in early January. (The fact that the college football season no longer ends on New Years Day is a story for another time.) The super-important BCS formula is comprised of several polls, several “important” statistical factors, the most powerful computer in the world, two chickens that only lay eggs on Saturdays and a dog that can bark the chorus to “Sunrise, Sunset”.

Now, with all these very impressive factors contributing to the formula, you’d think they’d be able to come up with something that makes people happy, right? Wrong! In fact, in the history of the BCS, only the friends and families of the winning team have ever been happy with the outcome of the BCS title game. Everyone else spends January 4, 5 or 6 trying to figure out why this team didn’t get a shot or saying how that team was playing better football than the so-called “champion”.

And, my absolute favorite part is when the powers that be claim they can’t go to a playoff system because it would take too long and keep the student-athletes out of class for an extended period of time. Like they’re really that concerned about the study habits of Texas quarterback Vince Young! It’s ridiculous. It’s all about money and sponsorships. So, here’s my solution: Use your precious BCS poll and move the top 8 teams into the playoff, with one exception. If any team is undefeated, but not in the top 8, they get moved into the top 8 automatically. Then, it’s a simple, three week playoff to decide the champion. Get off your scheduling high horse and get it done!

Now that I think of it, this idea is going to take more time. I’ll devote a full column to this later. You just wait! It’s going to be awesome!

5. Everything else.

An American icon, no doubt. But, do you think Rosa Parks ever got tired of photographers asking to take her picture on or near a bus? Just wondering.

I watched “Starship Troopers” the other day on television. That has to be one of the greatest movies of all time. It makes me laugh just thinking about Rico, Dizzy, Ace and the gang. “C’mon you apes. You wanna live forever?”

I should really spend more time playing board games. They are fun, even though I usually lose to my wife. My favorite board game is “Beyond Balderdash”. What’s yours?

All you can eat restaurant buffets are never as good as you think they’re going to be before you sit down. A lot of that food has just been sitting out for too long.

My favorite idea for the rebuilding of New Orleans is the one where all the buildings are on stilts and encased in giant bubbles. That would be awesome.

Every time I see Tom Cruise, I hope this it the time when his head actually explodes and the Martians pop out of his skull. And it pains me to have to say that about Lt. Daniel Kaffee.

At what point do you say to yourself, “I’m a grown man. I’m the Chief of Staff for the Vice President of the United States. I’m going to stop going by ‘Scooter’.”

Your New Kansas Jayhawks

2005-10-20T12:19:00.000-07:00

Before we start, don’t forget that clicking on the above banner will help send my kids to college.

No one likes to lose. I know, I know, that is akin to saying, “No one likes to be gored by a bull!” or, “No one likes to see the State Trooper hiding on the side of the road when they’re doing 90 in a 65.” But, don’t those things really come back to the essential difference between winning and losing? When that bull tosses you 10 feet in the air and gives you an instant, built-in ventilation system, you are the loser. The bull is the winner. When you are sitting in your car waiting for your ticket and hoping no one you know drives by, you are the loser. State trooper Buff McHugeLarge, who thinks he’s Eric Estrada from CHiPs, is the winner. It’s no fun. It hurts. It makes you angry. It makes you sad. It makes you want to get even with whoever put that sign around your neck that says, “LOSER.”

Now, contrary to popular belief – at least in sports – not all losses are created equal. I understand the need to minimize some losses so that the players don’t get snowed under in an avalanche of despair and self-pity, but those sports experts who say, “It’s just one loss” are, close your eyes mom, full of it. Some losses hurt. A lot. The University of Kansas men’s basketball team endured one such loss last spring. A season ender. With the entire college basketball world watching. To a team they had no business losing to – or even trailing, for that matter. And yet, at the end of the night, the Jayhawks were headed back to Lawrence and the Bucknell Bisons were marching on in the NCAA tournament. It was a crushing blow to a team that had struggled all year to meet expectations. The 2004-05 Jayhawks were full of senior leadership, but assumed they could survive on talent, then flip the switch and win any game. In stead, their season ended with a last second shot that rimmed off.

That shot set off as tumultuous an off-season in Lawrence, Kansas, since Quantrill’s raiders burned the Eldridge Hotel. Just two weeks after the Jayhawks were sent packing, much of Lawrence watched with envy as former coach Roy Williams cut down the nets with his North Carolina Tar Heels. With four seniors ready to try their fortunes in the pros, the new team was already facing a void in leadership and scoring. Next came the decision from freshman Alex Galindo to transfer closer to home. Then the ugly incident at the Moon Bar in Lawrence that eventually led to J.R. Giddens leaving Lawrence for good. Suddenly, six of the top eight players from the year before were gone. The off-season excitement ended with the odd recruitment and eventual commitment of Brandon Rush to wear crimson and blue. Rush talked of the NBA, then pulled out and flirted with several schools, then started attending classes at KU, though not officially enrolled as a student. Finally, his name was added to the roster as a Jayhawk, no matter where his brothers played.

Suddenly, the outlook for the new year wasn’t so bleak. The Jayhawks will be young, there is no doubt about that. But with the addition of Rush to an already strong freshman class that includes Mario Chalmers, Micah Downs and pre-season Big 12 freshman of the year Julian Wright, this recruiting class is now ranked number one or two in the land. The four freshman join a strong group of sophomores, including C.J. Giles, Sasha Kaun and Russell Robinson. The team still has a void of veteran leadership, with Christian Moody and Jeff Hawkins the returnees with the most experience. But, even after the Bucknell loss and all that followed, there is a sense of hope and excitement in Jawhawkville. The team will be fast. The defense will be tough. The pressure is off with the Jayhawks picked to finish third in the league. I see good things in their future, with excitement this year, followed by big time expectations in the seasons that follow. Bill Self already has a high profile recruit, point guard Sherron Collins, committed for next year. The program has sent notice to the rest of the college basketball world that, despite all that has happened in the last seven months, the Kansas Jayhawks are still a college basketball power.

Now, don’t get me wrong here. I think the Jayhawks will be good this year and potentially great next year and the year after. Though I believe they will flirt with double digit losses, I think they’ll make the tournament as a six or seven seed. With little pressure on them, they could even make a run to the round of 16. But, here’s the thing. This isn’t the University of Kansas men’s basketball program that I grew up on. Things have changed at Phog Allen Fieldhouse, and I don’t just mean the new seating arrangements. I’m not even saying things have definitely changed for the worse. That all depends on how you quantify good and bad. Judged by wins and money generated by the program, the changes are probably good. Judged against the old tradition of Kansas basketball, I don’t believe the verdict is quite as kind.

The change began a little over two years ago, when Williams bolted for UNC. Now, I’m not one of those conspiracy theorist KU fans that believes all that has gone wrong over the last two years is Roy Williams’ fault. I think he made a business decision that paid off for him last year in St. Louis. However, when he got on that plane and left Lawrence, the innocence of Kansas basketball went with him. Just a short time later, KU Chancellor Robert Hemenway made a decision that, for all its subtlety, couldn’t have been more obvious. The decision to hire Lew Perkins as Athletics Director meant one thing and one thing only: Kansas was ready to step up and join the world of big time college athletics through big time financial success.

The rewards for this decision are clear. First, more money generally equals better facilities which often translates into better players which should become more wins. It is also a huge step forward for Kansas football. When this season has ended and, barring a miracle, the Jayhawk football team is 0-8 in Big 12 play, Perkins is going to wave goodbye to Mark Mangino. You see, Lew wants a football program that will look good on the national scale and the uncomfortably large, ever-scowling Mangino does not qualify. There are rumors that the two don’t get along and Perkins has the power in his corner. I think Mangino would have been gone last year, but he was able to knock off both K-State and Missouri, and earned himself another year. After the stinker in Manhattan a couple of weeks ago and playing behind an offense that hasn’t seen the end zone in nearly a month, the Mangino supporters better start praying for divine intervention. I don’t see it happening. But, with Mangino out of the way, Perkins will be able to hire either a big name or a young up-and-comer that will be the new face of Kansas football. Because Lew understands that the real way to make money is by putting rears in the seats at Memorial Stadium. Basketball may be sacred in Kansas, but football generates dollars.

Step number two in the transformation of Kansas athletics came with the hiring of Bill Self as men’s basketball coach. Now, don’t get me wrong. I believe Bill Self to be a great coach and as a fan of Kansas basketball, I think he is the perfect man for the job. But he also fits the profile for a national power. Self is a tireless and very successful recruiter. He is a tough coach with a winning record. He is a passionate coach with a desire to win early and often. He is going to win big with the Jayhawks, despite last year’s set back. But there are some things that Bill Self is not. He is not the “aw shucks” Roy Williams good ole’ boy. Far from it. He’s going to lay it on the line. He’s going to play straight up with the media. He’s going to do things his way and if you’re not with the program, he’ll assume you are against it. He seems to have that edge that Roy Williams never had at Kansas. He’s not as worried about being a friend to all as he is about doing his job and doing it well. And, again from the Lew Perkins perspective, he puts the “right” face on Kansas basketball. Young, energetic, cut-throat and ready to win. These aren’t your daddy’s Jayhawks.

There have been other indicators that times are changing on Mount Oread. The handling of the J.R. Giddens – Moon Bar fiasco, for one. In Bill Self’s house, Giddens had to go. I think he stays under Williams because he’s one of the family. The transfers of Padgett last year and Galindo this year are signs that if you can’t take it, the door is always open. Self’s philosophy seems to be, “If the parts don’t work or don’t want to work, remove them.” Williams was always worried transfers reflected poorly on his ability as a coach/father-figure. I think the NCAA infractions in football and men’s and women’s basketball were handled to in a way that would look bad for the “old regimes”. No, I am not surprised that the problems in Mangino’s football offices were lumped in with the relatively minor infractions by Williams’ and Marion Washington’s staffs. After all, in a year, Mangino will be part of the “old regime”. The Brandon Rush recruitment never would have happened with Roy. He didn’t want risky players that might not buy into his schtick. And, of course, the big one for fans with men’s basketball season tickets: the decision to change how those tickets are assigned. In a nutshell, the new policy is, the more you give to the program, the better your seats will be. Sure, the stories of the 60-year season ticket holders being pushed towards the rafters are generating some negative press, but the department will hold firm. After all, it’s a money issue.

So, here’s where I’m having trouble. I don’t want to sound like another rabid fan that has no soul. I love the feel of Lawrence and the hominess of the Fieldhouse. It doesn’t bother me that KU is a “basketball school”. I think that’s great. But, deep down inside, only coming up for air after really bad losses, there is this: I want the Jayhawks to win. I want more banners hanging from the rafters. I want to be the featured team on CBS broadcasts. I want recruits to dream of playing for the Jayhawks because they know they’ll have a chance to win it all. I want to go to the victory parades and wear the championship t-shirts and buy the commemorative issue of Sports Illustrated. My rational self tells me to settle down, there are more important things than wins and losses. These are only kids. It’s more about the community. It’s the education that matters. But, for what it’s worth, I truly believe that ship has sailed and I don’t know if the school or the department can ever bring it back. Nor do I believe they want to.

So, things have changed in Lawrence. Next time you’re there, check it out. For the most part, it all looks the same. But the feel is different. The new Kansas family is not as loving, not as friendly and not as warm. This family is more likely to frisk you at the front door than offer you a loving hug. But, on the other hand, the new Kansas family is dedicated to winning and you, too, can be an integral part of the team by contributing your hard-earned dollars to the cause. So, if you want to get a word in to Coach Self, you can buy a plate at the next fundraising dinner. If you want the new training complex and locker rooms, there are plenty of good season ticket packages still available for next year’s football schedule. If you want a seat closer to the floor or a covered parking space, you’ll need to dig a little deeper in your wallet, your bank account, the cushions of your couch. And, for goodness sake, when the next heartbreaking loss comes, just remember you probably didn’t give enough to deserve the win. Welcome to the team.

The Trouble with Jobs

2005-10-13T09:21:00.000-07:00

So, I started a new job this week. Well, when I say started, I mean I started the training process – the slightly vague but all important “learning curve.” This is my chance to create a wonderful first impression for my new boss, an individual that could have an inordinate amount of influence over my future in this group, our division and even the company as a whole. So, as you might expect, I have yet to meet this person.

You see, my current employer is in a bit of a transitory state right now. To make a long and boring story only slightly shorter, and yet just as boring, this company recently merged with another company to make one really big company. (Those of you who know me, know where I work. Those of you that don’t know me can start trying to figure it out. It will be a fun game.) Now, attendant with all the joyous talk of mergers and executive bonuses and stock options and becoming the third largest provider in the industry, there is the internal struggle of constantly wondering if you are going to have a job, if there is someone from the other company who does the same job as you, only infinitely better, if the dreaded “o” word will be spoken about your group. That’s right – outsourcing.

Add to that this fun little wrinkle – about six to twelve months down the road in the life of this gigantic company, a portion of the business will be “spun-off” to form a new, smaller company – completely disconnected in every way from the big company. The theory being that the two parts of the business have different objectives and would be working against each other, so they will be split and go their separate ways. In the meantime, the new, huge, merged company will be expounding to the world how wonderful they will be and how good their executives, customers and employees will have it, with the full knowledge that at least one third of those employees will be gone in six months. At the same time, internally to the big company, executives are being named to the new smaller company, and they will be crying from the rooftops how good the small company will be and that the big company is getting in over its head. As an employee not yet assigned to either company, it’s like watching a football game when you’ve bet your wife a month of foot rubs, but not determining who needs to win for you to get the foot rubs. You want someone to win; you’re just not sure who.

From a personal perspective, all this was going on while my wife and I were trying to determine how we could generate additional income as we recently had to purchase a new car. (Our old minivan kept slipping from Drive to Neutral while we were moving. That makes driving just a bit dicey and we decided to get something a little more reliable. Of course, reliable often equates to expensive.) At the same time, my work car died in the middle of a busy intersection during rush hour and will not be rejoining our stable of vehicles, which means we need to save some money for a second car sometime next year. Point being, we needed cash. As a short aside from my short story, that is why there is now an advertisement at the top of my blog. Remember, simply by clicking on said advertisement, I make money. At least, that’s the theory. We’ll see if it works – if you would start clicking!

Okay, back to the wonderful world of corporate America! We chose not to depend solely on the ads on this site, so I began searching for another position – a promotion even. I was told in no uncertain terms that, though I was the strongest candidate for management in my current group, no advancement opportunities would be available for at least 12 months. So, doing what I know was out the window. Fortunately, I was recommended for a promotion to another group that, though much different than what I had been doing, could use some of my current job skills while also offering new opportunities for growth. (That sounds like I stole it right out of the job description, but it’s actually true.) The new job was in the Finance group, but I persevered. It was an assured position in the new, spun-off company, which was a real plus because I seemed to believe those executives more than the executives for the big company. And, they offered me 6% more annually plus a greater yearly bonus opportunity, which assisted with our economic crisis. So, here I am in a new job, learning new things and trying not to screw anything up and lose the chance to make a great impression that will carry me to the top, which apparently is middle management.

But, that takes me back to my new boss – you remember – the one I haven’t met yet. When I initially interviewed for the job, the hiring manager basically said, “I’ll be hiring this position, but I’m about to take a job in another group and someone else will be your manager.” He spoke highly of the new manager and assured me that the job was secure. So, we get to the start date, and I learn that my new manager is going to be on vacation for the entire week. No big deal, though. We can use email for big questions and have the sit-down meeting next week. Well, this morning, the new manager calls and says she has taken a job in another group and that there will be a new, new manager. So, three days into my new job and I have never actually met my boss. Everyone says he’s a good guy, and I’m sure he is. Everyone says the job is secure in the new, smaller company, so I’m pretty confident that we’ll be fine. Personally, I would just like to meet the man.

But, it’s all part of the fun of working in corporate America. In all truth, this job and even the last four plus years as a whole have been a huge blessing to me and my family. In 2001, we chose to leave the exciting world of local television news where I had been laboring as a local news producer extraordinaire. The job was interesting and there was a certain feeling of power that comes along with determining what stories make it on the air and what stories don’t. You’d be surprised at how much goes on in your community that you just never hear about because the newscast is only 30 to 35 minutes long – unless you’re watching a morning show, in which case the newscast is three hours long and you get to hear every story multiple times. But, the problem with television news is there is really no money in it until you get to the top twenty markets or the network level. Even then, the money isn’t what most people think it will be. Now, I don’t want you to get the impression that I’m all about the money. Television news also boasts terrible hours, the opportunity to work most holidays, and, in general, a group of co-workers that have pretty much given up on humanity and are simply looking to make snide remarks about those with even a touch of faith, hope or optimism. So, in 2001, with a brand new baby and the desire to let my wife be able to stay at home, we made the jump to Big Business.

The transition hasn’t always been smooth, but it has been well worth it. Now, with three kids at home, my wife works the most underappreciated job on the earth – full time mother. She is really good at it. Her days are really long and, just because I get home and start helping, she’s still doing many of the same things until the kids are in bed. However, the perks are unbelievable. The kids love the fact that she’s there with them. They have a relationship with her that is impossible to replicate. In fact, I strongly believe that two-parent, single-income families ought to get a huge tax break if they can prove that one parent is at home, taking care of the kids. The research department tells me a study was done recently that tried to place a job-market value on the role of at-home-parents. In the business world, they would be earning six figures. I don’t doubt that for a second. Two years from now, the kids will be in school. Will my wife go back to work then? I hope that won’t be necessary. I would love it if she could have that quiet time during the day that she will have been without for six years. And, I think we’ll be okay. I can always get a second job. I’m sure the quickie-mart down the street is hiring. Maybe by then I’ll actually have met my boss.

Fantasy Failure

2005-09-30T14:09:00.000-07:00

Let it be known now and recorded on high for posterity – I am a terrible fantasy football player. I mean it. I’m really bad. Those of you who have played in fantasy football leagues with me are aware of this sports shortcoming. Maybe that is why you continue to play in leagues with me! If so, than good for you. You are obviously an opportunist and I wish you much success in life, all the while secretly cursing your name and your ability to look at this silly game objectively. Now, I consider myself a pretty knowledgeable sports fan. I watch those shows that prepare for the coming week’s schedule of games and tell you who’s hot and who’s not. I read the major columnists to see who they pick to play well. I watch games and follow up with the highlight shows. But I just can’t seem to translate that knowledge into the ability to pick the players who are going to make an impact from week to week. I’m not proud of this fact, but, as Smilin’ Jack Ross said in A Few Good Men, “These are the facts of the case. And they are undisputed.”

The first time I played fantasy football was as a senior in high school. A buddy of mine wanted to play, but didn’t want to foot the entry fee by himself, so we went halvsies. We were an unmitigated disaster. I think we won two games the entire year. I’m sure that’s why we were invited to play. We didn’t do any research. We didn’t track free agents and make timely roster moves. We didn’t pay attention to bye weeks. We focused too much on our favorite team, the Kansas City Chiefs. We simply didn’t know what we were doing. But, as massive as a failure as that first year was, two years later I was back. And two years after that, I started organizing my own league, which I have done just about every year since. About four years ago, I found a great website called “Exit 42”, operated through Fanball.com. And this year I moved my own league to ESPN.com’s free site. I no longer play for prizes or money, which means I usually play with people that have a similar interest level as my own. I’m not a crazy person, certain that players are fumbling the ball in a blatant attempt to destroy my team. I enjoy the added intrigue of having a meaningful player in a game I really don’t care about – like the Cardinals-49ers this weekend. I don’t care who wins, but I want Larry Fitzgerald to catch a touchdown pass.

My point to all this is not to convince you that I am a complete nerd, though that may be an unintended bi-product. I just want you to know that I am not a complete novice when writing about fantasy football. Since I started playing, I have won a league exactly two times. I’ve finished below .500 seven times. I have more than one team this year, but only because the ESPN site is free. However, without exception, all of my teams have terrible flaws. And I can only blame myself. I am the Los Angeles Clippers of fantasy football. I am hopeless, and yet I continue to put my team out there, cross my fingers and wait for the carnage to subside.

I am not limited to just one area of weakness that sufficiently explains my fantasy failings. Though I do more research than I did that first year, I have identified three major areas that seem to get in the way of me having a quality fantasy football team. The first is over-analysis. I don’t mind admitting that I am one of those players that, on Monday morning, realizes the “fantasy stud” player of the week spent that particular game on my fantasy bench. I’ve benched quarterbacks before five touchdown performances, running backs and wide receivers before 200 yard games and defense/special teams before four interceptions/two kick off return afternoons. It’s a painful experience to look at the “box score” of my game and realize I lost by ten, but left 30 points on the bench.

My problem here is that I look too closely at the match-ups and convince myself of imminent heroic performances and they just don’t happen. I’ll look at my fourth string running back and realize he’s playing against a team with a weak run defense and my number two back, who has been playing great all year, is going against a playoff caliber team. What do I do? Bench the Rudi Johnson’s of the world to start the Kevan Barlow’s. When Johnson goes off for two scores and 150 yards and Barlow gets replaced by Frank Gore in the 2nd quarter, I’m stuck wondering what I was thinking when I made the switch. I also get caught up in the Monday Night hype. Despite my constant claims to my wife on Sunday that I’m just “checking the score”, the Monday night game is really the one I sit down for the long haul to watch. I love having a player that is going on Monday night. I love knowing that, even though I’m behind in my fantasy game, Robert Ferguson could have a huge performance in the national spotlight for the Packers. So, I sit a consistent receiver like Keenan McCardell and then watch Ferguson get shut out because Green Bay stinks. I’m just so certain these guys are going to get excited about the big Monday Night exposure. I forget that the Monday Night games really just mess up their schedule. In my opinion, that’s one of the biggest reasons why you see so many stinkers on Monday Night Football. Professional athletes are like infants in that they work best on a consistent, well-planned and iron-tight schedule. Make them break that schedule by watching on Sunday and playing on Monday night and half the time they get cranky and spit up all over themselves. (Insert your own joke here about other ways pro athletes resemble big babies!)

My second area of weakness in fantasy football has to do with player loyalty. I assign an inordinate amount of value to a player that performed well for me a few years ago. For instance, last year, I drafted Jerry Rice, knowing full well that he wasn’t much more than a fourth receiver. I considered drafting him again this year until he retired. I can’t help it. It’s like I think he’s going to be personally offended if he’s not picked up in a certain percentage of leagues. It’s ridiculous. I have the same problem with Fred Taylor. The guy gave me one good year and four years of injuries. And, yet, I see him out there in the fifth round on draft day and I just can’t resist. What if Fred recaptures that old glory? What if, for his tenth operation, they used the $6 Million Man parts and he can go bionic during the games? I don’t want to miss that, right? So, there’s Fred Taylor, taking up space on my roster. And, a couple of times during the year, I’ll start him and he’ll have seven carries for 15 yards before straining his hamstring and sitting the rest of the game.

The corollary to this weakness is my desire to grab “flash-in-the-pan” performers the week AFTER they’ve had a huge game. This really bites me in the rear with wide receivers. You see, number three wide receivers on most NFL teams are going to average about two touchdowns and 350 receiving yards over the course of an entire year. And, because they are usually at either the beginning or end of their career, their better performances are probably going to come early. So, say I see Rams’ wide receiver Kevin Curtis grab a touchdown pass in Week 3. I logical fantasy football player would think, “That’s nice, but he’s already halfway to his season total.” But, I see Kevin Curtis, wonder if Isaac Bruce is finally done, find out that Curtis is a Mormon and a returned missionary, and suddenly he’s the re-incarnation of Steve Largent. I snatch him up and throw him in my starting lineup. By the end of the year, he’s earned me a total of 15 fantasy points while Rod Smith had amassed 80 points sitting on my bench. Not good, but I just can’t help it. I get duped by these guys every year.

So, that leaves me to my final big problem – and it comes in the form of my favorite team, the Kansas City Chiefs. I love the Chiefs. I can’t help it. I love to watch Chiefs football. I loved the Steve DeBerg years. I loved the Christian Okoye years. I loved Joe Montana, Marcus Allen, Neil Smith, Derron Cherry, Derrick Thomas, Elvis Grbac, Bam Morris and Tamarak Vanover. (Okay, I didn’t love Morris and Vanover. I was afraid of them. They were thugs and that was not a happy time for Chiefs fans.) This year’s Chiefs team is no exception. Every week I have to talk myself out of picking up Sammie Parker, the small, but speedy wide out for Kansas City. “He could be awesome,” I think. “He could shock the world.” Except, he really isn’t any different than Dante Hall – an undersized receiver that is pretty easy to cover because he’s not physical enough. Plus, I get duped by Chiefs wide receivers all the time. They list these guys as the number two wide out, but in reality, Tony Gonzalez is the number one, Priest Holmes number two and Eddie Kennison number three. Anyone else just isn’t going to see the ball enough to help on a fantasy team. Why can’t I just remember that? Instead, I wait for Marc Boerigter’s break out performance so I can start him in front of a quality wide out like Jimmy Smith of the Jags. I see that arrowhead on their helmet and I assume they must be good. I’m weak when it comes to my beloved Chiefs.
So, there you have it. I’m just not good at this game. But, here’s the thing. I love to play. If I was bad at it and hated it, I would just stop. I gave up Boggle 20 years ago. I’m terrible at it, I don’t enjoy it and I refuse to play it. It makes me crazy. So I stopped. But, even though my teams are bad and even though my friends stomp me on a weekly basis, and even though it makes me doubly frustrated when the Kansas City players don’t perform, yet I still play. So, maybe it doesn’t really matter that I suck at it. Maybe the fact that I enjoy it is enough. I don’t want to be lumped into that group of fantasy players that have off-season newsletters and go to conventions in Vegas. In fact, I think non-fantasy players consider fantasy players to be the Dungeons and Dragons players of the 21st Century – a little off in the head and WAY to into the game. That’s not me. I just like picking the players, playing the game and seeing what comes next. And I’m probably going to keep trying. About every seven years, I might win a league, but if not, that’s okay. After all, it’s just fantasy. It doesn’t translate into some microcosm of my career or anything. It’s just for fun. Right?

R.I.P. 2005 Kansas City Royals

2005-09-23T11:08:00.000-07:00

Here rest the Royals of Two-Thousand-Five -
A season of hope no longer alive.

They gave it there all, or so we were told
But even this youth movement got a bit old.

So, now we move on and we hope for more wins –
A chance to raise banners and plenty more grins.

The try-out has ended - phase-two we will start.
Berroa and Lima and Long must depart!

So, David and Allard and even you, Buddy,
Sign the right players and this time, please study!

Say “NO” to Sosa, don’t get swept off your feet-
When it comes to next year, we fans want to compete!

This time you’re on notice, we’re reaching the end.
Our patience will break for there is no more bend.

Our loyalty’s true – we’ll be back in Oh-Six.
But last place again and it’s you we must fix.

This is the end of the line for me and the 2005 Kansas City Royals. Last night, on my birthday no less, they fell to the Indians and hit the century mark for losses. In their final ten games, they have to play better than .500-baseball to avoid setting the franchise record for losses. The next three games come against a Cleveland team trying to make the playoffs. The boys in blue finish the season on the road against Minnesota and Toronto. So, with ten games to play, and barring something miraculous like Allard Baird admitting that he’s the illegitimate son of George Steinbrenner or Buddy Bell taking the field to play third base, this will be my last column of 2005 dedicated to MacDougal, Sweeney, Stairs and the gang. I will wait for the cheering to subside before I continue!

It has been a year of few ups – drafting Alex Gordon - a can’t-miss prospect from Nebraska that grew up on Royals’ baseball, sweeping the Yankees at home, Krispie Kreme donuts – and plenty of downs – Pena quitting on the team, 19 losses in a row, the inability to actually sign Gordon to a contract. I think we can all agree that it has been a pretty disappointing and at times frighteningly ugly season. We’ve seen some terrible baseball at Kaufman stadium. We’ve seen ninth inning implosions when a win seemed assured. We’ve seen deer-in-the-headlights second basemen that look legitimately scared when the ball comes their way. We’ve seen two outfielders converge on a fly-ball, than both start jogging toward the dugout without actually catching the ball to make the final out of the inning. We’ve been the running joke for every sportscaster in the nation from Dan Patrick at the WorldWide Leader to the fill-in weekend sports guy in Glendive, Montana. We need a break. We need a vacation. We need to get away from Royals’ baseball, reevaluate our goals and decide if we’re still compatible. We can spend the playoffs rooting for small market teams that have made it work – it will be like seeing other people.

Doesn’t that sound familiar? Haven’t we all had that conversation with a one-time significant other? Heck, I said it to my fifth grade girlfriend less than 24 hours after we started “going together”. The strain was just too much! It was affecting my school work. My kickball average was plummeting. I didn’t know if I was supposed to sit by her at lunch! I had to call it off.

So, I’m putting the Royals on notice and I hope they’ll take this time to decide if they really can be the team I need them to be. Otherwise, one of us is going to have to walk away. I can start rooting for the Cubs and probably be fine. At least they’re trying to win. The Royals can go to Portland or San Antonio or Vegas. It would be an amicable split. I could watch them every other weekend and look through my old Royals’ baseball cards on holidays. Every once in a while, I’d have that pang in heart and want them back. I’d think of Brett and White and Saberhagen. I’d smile when imagining Bo Jackson chasing down a fly ball, Freddy Patek turning two, Steve Balboni’s bald head.

But then I’d remember the hard times. I’d remember when Juan “Rally Killer” Gonzalez sent his luggage to spring training, but he didn’t show up for another week. That was a sign of things to come. I’d remember the Nefi Perez signing and being excited for this young, spark-plug of a shortstop, only to see him flop, give up and mope around the field until the season ended. Funny, he seems fine now with Chicago! I’d remember the injuries – Jeremy Affeldt’s blistered finger, Mike Sweeney’s aching back, Aaron Guiel’s blurry eyes. The thing I’d remember the most are the players that got away. Johnny Damon, Jermaine Dye, Carlos Beltran – that could have been the greatest outfield in the league for the past five years. I understand the need to trade away big names while you can still get something in return. Until there’s a salary cap, that’s the way it will be in small-market baseball. But, the key is that you actually get some value back. Allard Baird has proven time and time again that he just doesn’t get the job done. The prospects don’t pan out and we’re left holding the bag in last place.

For now, I’m going to take a break. I need some time away from this team and maybe from Major League Baseball all together. I’m excited to watch good baseball in the playoffs, but when the Indians are eliminated and the A’s are at home, it will be the same old teams fighting for the World Series crown. It’s getting old, Major League Baseball. Our relationship has lost its spark. We’ve become routine and it’s time for a change. It’s time to do something to make baseball meaningful in Seattle, in Milwaukee, in Pittsburgh, in Kansas City. Though I get frustrated with the Glass family, at least they’re trying to make a difference for the good of the sport. David Glass is the biggest proponent of a salary cup in those owners meetings. He wants the team to be competitive, but he wants the field to be leveled. What will it take to make that happen? An NHL-like lockout? The owners holding strong to break the player’s union? An act of Congress? Perhaps. I just don’t understand how these owners can look at the unparalleled success of the NFL and not see the importance of a hard salary cap. It’s time to take the power out of the pocketbooks and put it back in game management and player development. Is a salary cap a sure sign of success? Of course not. For every New England Patriots there’s an Arizona Cardinals. But, at least then the fans would have someone to blame. When the New York Yankees starting infield makes more money than your entire team, there’s a problem.

Now, I know, I’ve been down this road before. And, without significant restructuring at the owners meetings, it’s entirely possible that I’ll be writing about this again next year. But, for now, I’m ready to take a break. For now, I’m ready to close the book on the 2005 Royals. For now, I’m ready to watch some football and college basketball. And when the curtain goes up on the new-look 2006 Royals, I’ll be ready. I’ll be excited. And, like every year for the past 25 of my life, I’ll hope for wins. But, really, Royals, I mean it this time. You need to deliver. This is your final chance.

Explain It To Me Like I'm Five-Years-Old

2005-09-15T05:56:00.000-07:00

It finally happened. I have to be honest, I wasn’t prepared. I really didn’t think she’d ask me this early. I mean, she’s only five. She’s not even in kindergarten yet. But, there she was, looking up at me with those big, brown eyes and hoping for an explanation. How could I get through this? What could I possibly say that would help her understand? How did she figure out so much so soon? She shouldn’t be burdened with this knowledge at such a young age. Heck, I shouldn’t be burdened with this knowledge in my early 30s. But, the realities of life came crashing down on us – father and daughter together. That’s right, my oldest daughter came to me and asked the one question I didn’t expect. And it slapped me across the face like the cold, winter wind on the Kansas prairie. “Dad, are the Royals bad?”

For the last five years, I’ve taught my kids the same thing during baseball season. In our house, we cheer, “Go Royals!” and “Boo Yankees!” That’s just the way it is. I’m a Royals fan and I feel it is my natural born duty as a father to pass my love for all things powder-blue down to my posterity. And, so, when we tune in to a baseball game, no matter who is playing - we barely ever get to SEE the Royals play anymore - we cheer, “Go Royals!” or “Boo Yankees!” They call their New Jersey cousins and yell, “Go Royals! Boo Yankees!” We go to T-Bones games and call “Go Royals! Boo Yankees!” (My kids are still young enough that this is cute, trust me.) We listen to Denny Matthews on the radio and shout, “Go Royals! Boo Yankees!”

However, with football season upon us and the Royals preparing to set franchise records for failure, we decided to break out the next round of cheers – the winter cheers, “Go Chiefs! Go Jayhawks! Boo Raiders! Boo Wildcats!” (By the way, the “Boo Wildcats!” cheer has been particularly difficult to impart because my children believe anything involving cats must be good. How can I possibly overcome this potential developmental roadblock in their young lives? Maybe I’ll just let the school system deal with it – except what are the colors of our elementary school? Purple and white! My kids may be doomed!) So, we’re calling out the cheers and remembering that a football is brown and pointy and kind of looks like an egg, when my oldest chimes in with a “Go Royals!” This is fine until her three-year-old brother reminds her that the Royals don’t play football. Forget the fact that he tells her they play basketball. That’s not important. I’m still a good sports-fan father! Finally, my three-year-old daughter declares that we can no longer yell, “Go Royals!” at which point the five-year-old is reduced to tears.

When I finally get things calmed down, my oldest starts asking me questions. I should have seen where this was going, but I was busy cleaning up spaghetti sauce and didn’t catch on in time. She starts with the simple plea, “Daddy, I can still say ‘Go Royals!’ right?” I tell her of course she can. “Daddy, are the Royals still playing?” They are playing a game tonight, I say. “Daddy, are you going to cheer for them?” Here’s where I made my mistake. I told her I hoped they would win, but they hadn’t played well against this team – the Chicago White Sox – all year. I thought it was over and she even walked away for a few minutes. But, suddenly, she was back and the question was out of her mouth and I was caught, “Dad, are the Royals bad?” What could I do? I’m not big on lying to my kids, which meant saying they were good was out. So, I told her the facts: this year, the Royals have not won very many games and are probably going to finish last. Her response was simple: “Oh.” Disappointment – one of the worst things to see your kids experience.

Now, maybe I’m making too much of this. Maybe she doesn’t care because at this age, sports isn’t about the competition and the winning and the money and all the other things that we love and hate about sports as adults. For a five-year-old, it’s really about doing something together with her dad. And that’s wonderful. But, there’s going to come a time with one or more of my kids when they look at the Royals and say, “Is this really the team I want to be rooting for? Is it really fun to see these guys play?” Of course, my hope is, when that time comes, the answers to those questions will be “YES!” Maybe then, the Royals will be competitive again. Maybe Major League Baseball will figure out that the disparity between the haves and the have-nots is killing the game in two-thirds of their markets. Maybe the Glass family will decide, “To heck with Wal-Mart, let’s build a winner in Kansas City!” It’s possible. We can hope.

But, for the here and now, those of us doing our best to raise a future generation of Royals fans are really stuck. You see, for a five-year-old, there are different kinds of bad. There’s the bad taste of foods they don’t like or don’t want to eat – lima beans, salmon, rye bread. This kind of bad varies from night to night depending on moods and levels of exhaustion. Then there are cartoon character bad-guys they see on television – Syndrome on “The Incredibles” or that blue guy on “Kim Possible”. Those guys are bad because they fight against their heroes. Then there’s the kind of bad the means you’re not very good at something. It has recently come to my kids’ attention that I am a “bad” rollerblader – I fall down or wave my arms or skate into the grass. If you’ve never had a five-year-old and two three-year-olds demonstrate pity for you by pretending to fall off their bikes or skates to make you feel better, you should try it sometime. It is both hilarious and demeaning at the same time. Anyway, this is the kind of bad we’re talking about when we discuss the Royals. When it comes to putting a quality baseball product on the field, the Royals are most definitely bad. And, for my three kids, unless it involves Dad falling on his rear in the driveway, this kind of bad is not that much fun.

So, what do we do now? As fans, what can we do? Our team is bad. In fact, our team is really bad. They are so bad that, even though most of their prospects are already playing at the major league level, you never see the Royals mentioned when baseball experts talk about “can’t miss” players. Apparently, most of our top prospects could just as easily be sacking groceries in five years. For an organization claiming to be rebuilding through youth, this is really scary. The best prospect we’ve seen in years – third baseman Alex Gordon, the number two draft pick out of the University of Nebraska – remains unsigned in a contract dispute while the worst pitcher in the major leagues – Royals’ right hander Jose Lima – continues to pile on “performance incentives” based not on quality baseball but on number of starts and innings pitched. He will probably make $3.75 Million this year. Buddy Bell was brought in to restore good, quality fundamental baseball. I don’t see it. The difference hasn’t been all that great to me, and the losses continue to pile up. The mainstream sports media treats the Royals like little kids trying to grab a seat at the adult table. “Oh, isn’t that cute. The Royals are playing again. Let’s take a look for some laughs. Okay, now back to the major league schedule.”

Now I hear we are getting ready for phase two of the Allard Baird rebuilding plan – also known as the acquisition phase. Big signing number one? Matt Stairs. I know, he’s not an actual acquisition but a re-signing. Still, the first salvo fired in phase two of the acquisition phase is a middle-aged outfielder with mild power? Look, I like Matt Stairs. I think every team needs a Matt Stairs to fill in every fifth day in the outfield or pinch hit once a series. But to claim him as a cornerstone of the rebuilding effort is not filling me with confidence in a team that says they want to be competitive in the division. And besides, wasn’t Stairs brought to Kansas City originally during the last time Baird started targeting big names? As I recall, the 2004 acquisition phase included the likes of Benito Santiago and Juan Gonzalez – also known as Rally Killer. And the results? The worst team in the history of Royals baseball – until this year. So Baird’s track record of bringing in impact free agents isn’t all that impressive, either. What are we shopping for this year? A front line starting pitcher, a power-hitting corner outfielder and an impact second baseman. The payroll is expected to be in the mid $50 Million range. Not awful, but still between a third and a quarter of the payrolls of the big market contenders. And, the Royals are fully aware they will have to throw extra money at big names just to convince them to play in Kansas City. That may have been the most painful sentence I’ve ever written. Professional athletes – the cut-throat mercenaries of our day – don’t want to play for a team this bad. How sad is that? Kansas City used to be a baseball town. I think that feeling died with Ewing Kaufman.

Amidst all this talk of big names like Kevin Millwood and Todd Walker in Royals’ blue for 2006, there’s this little nugget: The front office is now claiming they knew this year would be painful because they wanted to evaluate the talent already in house. I understand the need to constantly check the progress of our young players. I’m pretty sure that’s why each major league team has at least three affiliated minor league teams and the September call up period. But did we really need to throw away an entire major league season for this? And if they knew this was the plan going in, why not let the rest of us know up front? And, putting on my moralist cap, isn’t that a bit dishonest to be fully aware that you are putting an inferior product on the field and still charging full price for tickets, parking and food? Does any other business work this way? Doesn’t Wal-Mart itself put products on sale when trying to evaluate the consumer demand? Does any other major league team operate this way? If they do, I sure don’t see it. Even the Devil Rays and Rockies aren’t arrogant enough to claim they weren’t really trying this year.

I’m resigned to the fact that Baird is going to get at least one more year. For all his claims of “phase two”, I’m pretty sure we’re up to “The Nightmare at Kaufman Stadium Part XVI”. We all know Buddy Bell will be back. Maybe he’ll overcome his lifetime record as a manager next year and turn into the second coming of Joe Torre. I think we’ll see some different names on the jerseys next year, but I don’t see a lot of really big names that will be on the market and in the Royals’ price range. Whoever comes to town will join David DeJesus, Mike Sweeney and the immortal Matt Stairs to compete for the American League Central crown, exclusive rights-holder of getting swept in the first round of the playoffs.

However, amidst all this excitement for a new year of Royals baseball, we the fans need some guarantees. I want someone in the Glass family to acknowledge that this is the last chance for Allard Baird. If the Royals are not playing meaningful games in September next year – within five games of the division title or A.L. wildcard, give the man his walking papers. I’m sure he’s a nice enough guy, but he hasn’t done the job here in Kansas City. I’m starting to wonder if it’s just laziness and the Glass family doesn’t want to go through the hiring process for a new general manager. Get over it. We deserve someone else.

I want a year-long moratorium on talk of a new stadium. Right now, the Royals don’t deserve anything new. When the team is on track to shatter the franchise record for losses, I don’t want to hear anyone from the Royals’ front office attacking Jackson County’s management of the Truman Sports Complex. Win first and we’ll discuss a stadium later.

Finally, it’s time for the Kansas City Royals to be fun again. The best way to do that is to field a winner. You do that, and people will be in the seats and having a great time at the K. However, if that’s too much to ask, then take a lesson from the T-Bones and try some gimmicks. For a team approaching 100 losses, Buck Night and fireworks aren’t enough. Let the fans throw pies at Lima. Let five lucky winners try and hit a homerun. Have everybody dress like their favorite Royal from the 70s. I’d definitely be sporting a big, bushy moustache like the Quiz, a toothpick like U.L. Washington or thick rec-specs like Darrell Porter! How about a contest for best imitation of George Brett in the pine tar game? If you can’t make the ballpark a fun place to be, you have no business in baseball.
Baseball is all about fun. It’s about laughing and cheering and winning. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Kansas City wants to support major league baseball. We want to spend our evenings at the stadium. We want to yell “Go Royals!” and “Boo Yankees!” We’re all here just waiting for the Royals to make the first move. But, for the vast majority of us, money is too tight to come to the ballpark and watch bad baseball. We’re nearing ten years of “rebuilding” and not being competitive. As that trend continues, more and more kids are going to realize they don’t have to root for the Royals. Not with the Red Sox and Cubs and even the Yankees on TV three nights a week. Rooting for a contender means you always have a good answer when your daughter asks, “Dad, is our team bad?”

ARE We Ready For Some Football?

2005-09-08T12:01:00.000-07:00

The 2005 National Football League season kicks off tonight with Randy Moss and the Oakland Raiders heading into New England to take on the defending Super Bowl Champion Patriots. It should be a good game. There are some interesting questions for both teams in this League of Perpetual Hope. Will Moss and LaMont Jordan be enough to hide the serious problems on the Raiders’ defense? Will the losses of Romeo Crennell, Charlie Weiss and Teddy Bruschi leave the champs exposed in the AFC East? Is there a way to bet on whether or not Randy has smoked pot prior to any given game and, if so, will Vegas set a line on the amount consumed? Is Bill Belichick alive or is he simply a robot that has been expertly programmed by a Dr. Evil like villain living deep inside a volcanic crater in the South Pacific?

But, even as I have been pondering these questions, the one thing that keeps popping into my head is, “Are we REALLY ready for some football?” With the after effects of Hurricane Katrina playing out on one third of the channels on my television; with gas prices so high that it costs as much to drive to a game as it does to get in the gate; with my own employment situation currently in limbo because a group of executives can’t decide how many six figure directors to employ, am I truly prepared to say that I’m ready to sit back and watch a bunch of overpaid athletes try and break each other to pieces for 60 minutes? In one simple word, “Yes.”

That’s not to say the realities of the world don’t weigh heavily on my mind. I have so many questions about Katrina, I hardly know where to start. I live in eastern Kansas and I don’t have any idea what the scope of this hurricane must have been like. But, don’t you have days of warning when a hurricane is approaching? In Kansas, when the tornado siren goes off, you go to your basement. That’s what you do. Why didn’t more people evacuate? Everyone keeps talking about the slow response of the government, and certainly it would have been wonderful to get food and supplies in there sooner. But it seems to me those rescue crews were working from the moment the storm was gone. Doesn’t it take some time to organize relief efforts? At the risk of sounding like a Bush apologist, at what point is this the president’s fault? At what point do the people in New Orleans start saying, “Yeah, maybe the looting was a bad idea. Maybe we shouldn’t have been shooting at rescue workers. Maybe we could have left the city when the warnings were issued.” I just don’t know if I can listen to more people say how ashamed they are to be Americans. Yes, this disaster was terrible. But it was epic. And the response has been in kind. There are relief funds everywhere. Nearly half a billion dollars has been collected. Troops have been called in. The levee has been temporarily repaired. This is the greatest country in the world. It’s the spirit of the people that make it great. It’s my contention that this is a land protected by God as the people are willing to live good lives. Does that mean that bad things don’t happen? Of course not. But when things go bad, we muster our courage and get to work. Whether that work is on the front lines along the Gulf Coast, by hosting a displaced family in your home or by giving money to the Red Cross, the point is that much of this country and the government that represents us is responding. Stop screaming and pitch in.

So that takes me back to my original question. In the face of this disaster and other crises facing each of us, is football really the best thing for us? The answer came to me today as I was thinking about this column. Because, despite all the tragedy and pain and frustration on the news, one of the lingering questions in my mind was, “How will the inability to play a single home game affect the Saints this year?” The thought kept creeping in and I kept pushing it back as inappropriate. But, the truth of it is, we care about our sports. We seek the refuge and respite that comes from being a fan. We pray for the people directly affected by this tragedy and we hope our team wins this Sunday. And so, instead of writing about all the tragedy that I’ve seen over the last ten days, I’m going to write about the National Football League. If you’re not interested, that’s fine. If you could use a break, I hope you enjoy what I have to say. If you are dying to see that first snap, just relax. Football is back to provide the distractions we all need from the constant challenges of life.

That being said, I’ve always thought one of the best jobs in the world would be with Monday Night Football. This is the final year of MNF in the primetime network spot. Next year, the Worldwide Leader takes over and if you don’t have cable or satellite, you’re out of luck. I’ve always wondered, why is it so difficult to program the MNF schedule? What’s the big deal? I think I could do it. But, first, I think we need to establish the ground rules.

First, forget about the “traditional rivalries” or past Super Bowl matchups. If one of those teams is in the tank, the game is not interesting to me. Does that mean no more Washington-Dallas on Monday night? Yes, and it should. I tune in one Monday night to see a quality game between two teams with playoff aspirations. I’m just not that interested in Brett Favre’s deteriorating talent or Bill Parcell’s frustrations with his offensive line. I want to see quality football. It’s a fact that there are more quality teams in the AFC right now. If that means we see more AFC teams on Monday night, so be it.

Second, stop pestering me with personnel matchups. I don’t care about Kurt Warner facing the Rams or LaMont Jordan showing the Jets what they lost. At some point, the league and the network need to understand that these individuals don’t drive viewership. If you’re serious about the MNF game being the featured game of the week, then it needs to be the game between the best two teams. Does that mean some teams will appear more than others? Yes. But the good teams have earned that opportunity and should be rewarded. Now, I’m of the opinion that the MNF schedule should have some flexibility to it in the second half of the season. I think the league could figure out how to give enough notice to allow for this change. They’ll try it next year with the Sunday night game on NBC. But, again, if Monday is your feature game, then you need to make sure you’ve got teams with something on the line.

Third, if all else fails, go for offense. I’m a football fan and I enjoy watching a great defense play. But, I’m going to watch the game no matter what. If you’re trying to attract the casual fan in today’s fantasy football crazy world, then you need the big touchdown passes and the long runs. You need games in the 30s. Nothing is worse then realizing that you’ve wasted three and a half hours on a 10-7 stinker. You know which teams are going to put up points. Make sure those offenses get a chance to shine.

Now, there are other things I’d love to change. The games start too late and last too long. The halftimes are over-produced. There’s too much canned content that comes off as silly (the player introductions and fun facts like “My favorite movie is Scarface” baloney). The sideline reporters rarely provide any valuable information because they’re busy interviewing Ben Affleck in the stands. But, I understand that much of these issues are the desperate acts of a marketing department trying to increase ratings. The simple answer that will solve that problem is to make sure the game is good. If the football game is good from week to week, people will watch. We want to watch. We’ve just started a new work week and Monday Night Football should be the NFL’s dessert cart after the Sunday all-you-can-eat buffet. So, if I ran the league or the network, these are the 16 games I’d want on Monday night. (There is no Monday-nighter on the last week of the regular season.)

Week 1:
Indianapolis @ Baltimore: ABC will carry Philly at Atlanta, but the Colts offense is too good to pass up. Peyton Manning is the MVP and could throw for 40 touchdowns this year. They should open the season on Monday night.

Week 2:
San Diego @ Denver: Two playoff teams from 2004. The best running back in the league with LaDainian Tomlinson. This should be a great game. Much better than the Redskins at Dallas.

Week 3:
New England @ Pittsburgh: The two best teams in the AFC last year square off again in Week 3. Should be a solid game. The scheduled game is KC at Denver, which should be good, but the Pats-Steelers is better.

Week 4:
Philadelphia @ Kansas City: Solid offenses should equal lots of points. Now’s the time to start projecting which teams are going to be in the hunt this year and the Eagles and Chiefs both qualify. Much better than the Packers-Panthers game on the schedule.

Week 5:
Pittsburgh @ San Diego: This is the game on the schedule, as well. Should be a fun one with two teams that could be back in the playoffs this year.

Week 6:
St. Louis @ Indianapolis: The league makes a good call again with this one. The Rams offense should be back in top form and we know the Colts are going to put up points.

Week 7:
San Diego @ Philadelphia: The league is offering the Jets at Atlanta, which will be decent, but only if Vick is effective. I’d rather see these two proven offenses.

Week 8:
Minnesota @ Carolina: This is a great game as well as being my pick for the NFC Conference Final. These two teams will be really good this year.

Week 9:
Indianapolis @ New England: This one’s a no-brainer and the league didn’t whiff. These two teams have been at the top of the AFC for years and it shouldn’t be any different this year.

Week 10:
Kansas City @ Buffalo: The Chiefs offense is just too good to keep off the network for very long. Fans like touchdowns and the Chiefs score them in bunches. The scheduled game is Dallas at Philly, which could be decent, but Parcels’ offense is usually on the boring side.

Week 11:
Pittsburgh @ Baltimore: Great game. Divisional matchup. Two solid teams all around. The schedule offers Minnesota at Green Bay, but they are hanging their hopes on Brett Favre playing like the Favre of five years ago. I don’t think that’s going to happen.

Week 12:
New England @ Kansas City: I think this is a potential play-off preview. These two teams will be good and this game will be the best of the Thanksgiving weekend.

Week 13:
Atlanta @ Carolina: Another divisional matchup with a lot on the line. Should be an exciting game, especially if both defenses are as good as advertised. I know that goes against one of my rules, but the fact that the playoffs could be on the line makes up for it.

Week 14:
St. Louis @ Minnesota: These are the two best all-around offenses in the NFC. They will definitely put on a show in Minnesota. Way better than the Saints and the Falcons.

Week 15:
Philadelphia @ St. Louis: I know that gives us the Rams two weekends in a row, but the end of the season is almost here and these are the best two teams going head-to-head.

Week 16:
New England @ NY Jets: The last Monday night game of the regular season goes to the best two teams in the AFC East. I think the Jets have to win this game to make the playoffs.

Predictions

I’ll finish off my look at the NFL with my final predictions. Again, as I mentioned last week with my college football preview, these predictions are free of charge, extensive research and behind the scenes expertise. Just one man’s opinion. You can grade me later.

AFC North: 1) Pittsburgh, 2) Baltimore, 3) Cincinnati, 4) Cleveland.
AFC South: 1) Indianapolis, 2) Houston, 3) Tennessee, 4) Jacksonville.
AFC East: 1) New England, 2) New York Jets, 3) Buffalo, 4) Miami.
AFC West: 1) Kansas City, 2) San Diego, 3) Denver, 4) Oakland.

AFC Wildcard: Kansas City over Baltimore, New England over San Diego.
AFC Divisional: New England over Pittsburgh, Indianapolis over Kansas City.
AFC Championship: Indianapolis over New England.

NFC North: 1) Minnesota, 2) Detroit, 3) Green Bay, 4) Chicago.
NFC South: 1) Carolina, 2) Atlanta, 3) Tampa Bay, 4) New Orleans.
NFC East: 1) Philadelphia, 2) Dallas, 3) New York Giants, 4) Washington.
NFC West: 1) St. Louis, 2) Seattle, 3) Arizona, 4) San Francisco.

NFC Wildcard: St. Louis over Atlanta, Carolina over Seattle.
NFC Divisional: Carolina over Philadelphia, Minnesota over St. Louis.
NFC Championship: Minnesota over Carolina.

Super Bowl XL: Indianapolis 31, Minnesota 23

Enjoy the season. Don’t take it too seriously – those guys on your fantasy team aren’t really playing for you. Don’t take it too lightly – it’s okay to enjoy a football game. Your life and problems will still be there afterwards, but you’ll be a lot more relaxed. So, sit back and take in a game when you have a chance. Hopefully, your team will be competitive and you won’t be saying, “We’ll be better next year” after week six. In today’s NFL, that’s all we can really ask for.